In August of 1985, I rented my first home on the island of Maui. As we drove down a bumpy dirt road toward the stunning blue Pacific, I was struck by a sign that said Door of Faith Church. Energy tingled through my entire body as I realized I was opening that door, the door of faith, on this magical island thousands of miles from the US mainland.

Just last week I received the final payment from the sale of the beautiful ocean-view temple home and property I developed and built in 1987 on Door of Faith Road. It has been ten years since I said Aloha to my precious home with its 50 coconut palms on three acres. I truly gave birth to a vision of living on a luscious tropical island in paradise.

I taught many, many workshops at Hale Akua Garden Farm Retreat Center near my home on Door of Faith Road… the last one over a decade ago. I’m ready for completion and closure with the Door of Faith, so I am returning to Hale Akua one last time to bring it all full circle with a women’s sexual awakening and healing retreat next April. This will be my final scheduled workshop as I’ll be moving to Panama shortly after this retreat.

Hale Akua means House of the Divine. It’s no mistake that so many lives have been transformed here, where the tropical trade winds blow away that which no longer serves you and the energies of Mama Maui infuse you with love, joy, beauty, pleasure, and truth. It’s the ultimate blessing, to live for a week in the perfection of nature… warm, moist, and nurturing to the very core of your soul. In this place, I have witnessed more miracles than I can recount.

To this day, I still hear from students who participated in one of the many weeklong retreats I had the privilege of teaching at Hale Akua. Were you one of them? I would love to hear about your Hale Akua experience in the comments below.

Aloha… it means hello, goodbye, and I love you.

Aloha, Caroline

PS. Please, my darling… please do not let this opportunity pass you by. It may very well be the last time I travel back to Maui to sit in sadhana with you and share my wisdom. There’s a super early-bird rate available through the end of October.

 

I recently encountered The School of Remembering, a Mystery School. It was created by Drunvalo Melchizedek, a man who has spent a life rich in spiritual practice and mystical understanding. His teachings, workshops, and products are new to me, which is exactly why I wish to share them with you. We are, after all, a tribe devoted to higher consciousness.

I love learning about amazing new technologies that can blast open my energy field either for real or because it sounds like they can! Does that ever happen to you? With so much input from people and the internet, I am constantly amazed at how much I don’t know. I often feel like a big giant sea sponge, absorbing in order to plump myself into an orb of intelligence and balanced energy.

The voluptuous goddess I see for my Reflexology sessions turned me on to this body of work. I admit to a certain limitation in terms of molecular technology and my relationship to my own molecules… but I’m open. I want to understand the complex energy that makes up who I am – or at least who I think I am – beyond my obvious definition. Queen and Tantra Goddess only captures so much of me… in fact, only a crown’s worth!

Women, especially at this time in Herstory, are midwives of massive downloads of data. We don’t (well, I don’t) need double blind studies to make me a believer… I love to be Amazed!! I love Union… I love the experience of what I don’t fully understand. If this lovely and very believable man can up my vibration for every activity during the course of my day, I receive with an open heart.

Ok, this may sound woo woo to you. I kinda rock my head from side to side questioning “quantum infused products” myself – in this case, Flower of Sunlight oil – yet something inside of me says why not? The dictionary defines quantum as “the smallest amount of many forms of energy (such as light).” I am not an affiliate… I make nothing if you order it, but I wanted to give you a first-hand report. I will continue to research. I bet my orgasms are bigger than ever with such “enhancement”!

Cellular communication refers to the way in which our cells ‘talk’ to one another, thereby restoring vital energy and enhancing performance while helping to maintain proper energetic balance. I opened the package of my Flower of Sunlight oil, enthusiastically applying it to my wrists and under my nose. My review for today… my energy was off the charts! We shall see.

I sometimes wonder, in left-brain inquiry, if I am being duped… drawn into a mystical possibility that the wearing of a pendant or the use of an essential oil will transform my reality. My mid-western upbringing taught me to question everything before the ‘60’s taught me to primarily question authority. Yet faith and belief are also a strong component of my spirituality and spiritual path. If it feels right, I believe!

How do you know if something is worthy of your faith and belief?

In human and mystical domains, Caroline

My thoughts, as I rose the day before the Solar Eclipse of 2017, were filled with images of opening to Divine Light and releasing our (yours and mine) rage and grief that we’ve carried as women for too long. I chose to consciously release into Mother Earth in order to compost what I have taken in from women during the 30 years I have been involved with the Awakening Feminine. And into me, your Queen, I invited the transmissions from Yoniversal/Universal Love.

Tantra Yoga evolved for me into the Divine Feminine and Her inevitable awakening on this plane. I actively seek alignment with the rewiring that is always at work within my heart and soul.

An eclipse is a reflection of what is possible and how we are being asked to participate. To be a Queen who takes her throne on the seat of the Heart of Love is a lofty ideal. The Bodhisattva teachings bring heaven to earth. Not a bad assignment for a girl from the prairies of Kansas now residing in the land of She… Wild and Free!

I love this piece from Mystic Mamma:

TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE | NEW MOON in LEO rises as the Queen within takes her throne on the seat of the Heart of Love. 

Divine Feminine energy comes through the veil to awaken humanity to its true power in love.

A new way is calling as the outmoded, short-sighted, repressive ways of the Patriarchy are no longer tolerable or permissible. We the people awaken and new leaders step forth.

Together, we rise in consciousness for an inclusive humanity. Together, we cast away the illusion of separatism and step forth to heal the divides within ourselves, our partnerships, and our communities.

Each of us has the power to shift and realign with the heart as we let go, forgive, ask for forgiveness, and move through our collective grief to our seat of personal power within the heart of love

And so, my earthly and astrological friend, I ask you to receive your download at this time as it relates to your own very personal divine assignment. Receiving a download feels much like being struck by lightning, but in a positive way, not a way that would fry you to bits! It is a Birth process into a new form of leadership led entirely by the Heart of Love.

I wish to give thanks to Lauren Jubelier and Amrita Grace for this Gift of insight. The Shamanic path, whether it be Healing, Breathwork, or Astrology, is not for the faint of heart, but for the warriors and leaders of the coming Age of Truth.

Are you In? Tell me how the Great American Solar Eclipse affected you in the comments below!

Love, Your Queen of Hearts during a period of Cosmic Initiation

How Free Are You?

 

I recently returned from FreedomFest – The Worlds Largest Gathering of Free Minds 10th  anniversary conference in Las Vegas, Nevada. Several thousand out-of-the-box thinkers and women who make history gather each year to share ideas, concepts, and observations about the state of our freedoms on many levels… political and financial to life extension and our health care and many more. The prevailing parties were Libertarian and Independent.

I could not have imagined that I would be so stimulated by such an intellectually brilliant gathering, while back in my Tantra days, love and connection were the leading components of any event. Not only were the lectures, talks, and debates fascinating at from a classroom point of view, but the conversations that take place extemporaneously during the social time during coffee breaks and book signings could surprise even the jaded old hands of former think tanks!

We explored new frontiers such as a New America, Is Big Brother Here?, Crisis Ahead, and Free Enterprise, just to name a few. For ten years this conference has been produced by Mark and Jo Ann Skousen, a couple of 45 years who has collaborated on over 25 books, raised five children, and lived on both Coasts including Washington, DC, the Bahamas, Florida, New York and California. Two of their children helped produce this event and I admit I felt as though I had landed with a large family I didn’t yet know but was very welcome to belong to.

As for spending 4 days in Las Vegas, I can honestly say that the place itself and the people who populate this Gambling Hall (hell) of Heaven is the Best Show in Town. I filled up on exquisite food at every meal, cultivated a mind-expanding view of people choosing unnatural air, enjoyed the chaos of Times Square in what is referred to as Disneyland for Adults, and all at a high cost of hard-earned money. I, who chooses trade winds that blow across the oceans and the scent of a forest, easily over-rode the smoke-filled air of the Casinos in order to not miss a thing.

With the prevailing statements from highly educated movers and shakers filling the air with thought-forms such as Laissez Faire Free Market Anarchy and Finding Freedom in an Unfree World, I am reminded of the book that changed my personal thinking and shaped my world at the age of 14, Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged. I am happy to say that Ayn’s philosophy and dedication to her work lives on in the minds and hearts of millions. We have rebirthed her ideas into our own ideals in order to play a role in defining America and a United State(s) of unconditional freedom based on the early Founding Fathers and Mothers (well, the Mothers came later, and that’s where I come in.) The wonderful quote by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, “Well-behaved women seldom make history,” leads me to share with you a few of the women making history at the Conference:

Lyn Ulbricht, who is leading her son’s arduous fight against injustice and an unprecedented 2-lifetimes sentence.

Courtney Balaker, writer and director of The Little Pink House, the story of a woman’s legal fight to save her home that led all the way to the Supreme Court.

Sometimes referred to as the Mother of the Modern Tantra Movement in America, I define myself as a Pioneer of radical individualism in my particular area of sexual education and consciousness via The Art of Conscious Loving and the Divine Feminine (who She is and how She is evolving). It is with great pride that I place myself beside women in history such as Mary Magdalene, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Helen Keller, Oprah Winfrey, Amelia Earhart, Ayn Rand, and the many, many courageous women who have left us with important life-changing and transformational Truths. The Goddess comes in many forms and she leads on many fronts. If I think too highly of myself by choosing co-conspirators as listed above, I suppose time will tell. I think there is room in the Time Capsule for all of us!

How do you define yourself among the women of history (or herstory)?

Big love, Caroline

The process of designing and creating a new website with my team inspired me to have a new photo shoot as outlined in my last blog post. That led me to thinking about my professional presentation and all the ways in which I take great care of myself.

I did a double-take when, as if reading my mind, my beloved sweetheart innocently asked the inquiring question: “How many technicians does it take to Service a Queen?” Why, I had never counted!

I pondered this at length. “Service a Queen” became, in my own words, “maintain this divinely feminine woman,” so I began working on my list. No doubt some have faded into obscurity but this is pretty close to what fills my appointment book each month and year along with Private Immersions, teaching Interviews, seminars and workshops, travel, and of course, a wonderful relationship.

These are my precious, non-negotiable “services”!

Virtual Assistant/Business Manager

Hair (monthly)

Nails (bi-monthly)

Massage (monthly)

Reflexology (monthly)

Internist (quarterly)

Dermatology (semi-annually)

Dentist (semi-annually)

Esthetician – a person who is knowledgeable about the nature and appreciation of beauty, especially in art (monthly)

Trainer/Gym & walks outdoors (3x per week)

Chiropractor (monthly)

Cranial/Sacral Therapist (monthly)

I do have a great attitude that I want do pass on to you and to my students that I embody myself… Yep!

Embody Your Ecstasy! Embody your Tantra Goddess!

I once thought it was the wealthy and retired who have time for all of these “services,” but I find myself falling into the category of non-retired with a business in which I report profits and losses to the IRS… like you I imagine? And I live within the same allotment of hours per day and week as you… I imagine? And I love and need my beauty sleep… like you, I imagine?

This is in addition to my quiet down time doing yoga, self-pleasuring, the preparation of meals, and meaningful conversation with my partner/sweetheart. Or a regenerative nap, often laying on a massage table on my BioMat, above it all in my healing sanctuary at home.

How might I make time to write another book? I am feeling the need and desire to record forevermore the stories and the experiences I have in the private sessions that involve Sexual Awakening and Healing and Tantra for Women. I’m educating people who are aware that life could be more meaningful if they knew more about their sexuality and patterns of intimacy or the fear or lack of it. I rejoice in transformation, but I cannot tell ALL of the stories here in these Blogs… and, of course, I would never mention names as I have great respect for everyone’s privacy.

I publicly admit that another book is on my horizon… something like “Remarkable Women I have Known and Loved.” It will be an easy read containing stories I have heard and transformations I have witnessed. What drove me to write Tantra Goddess, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening, was the driving passion to remember my life before I forgot too much of it. Now I want you to know about these lives I have touched and the courage of women of every age to take on their Awakening into their Birthright of Pleasure.

If you are curious to know more, there are numerous free resources on my brand new website.

I would like to know, in the comments below: How do you embody your Tantra God or Goddess?

Into the Mystery, Caroline

Six months of planning! Growing out my hair, longer than it’s been in 25 years. Finding a local photographer for a photo shoot so I would have new pictures to show you on Facebook and on my website. Choosing the perfect days… the perfect weather… for perfect outdoor pictures…. The perfect yet vulnerable divinely feminine me!

I say vulnerable as I mused How many more times will I do photo shoots in this career and lifetime? Can they photoshop some of the sun damage on my arms and legs? Oh yeah, just wear long sleeves even if it is 100 degrees in the sun (duh). Self-doubt is common, I know, whether young and lacking in confidence or aging and not wanting certain things to show up in the photos! I caught myself in every trap that I help women avoid – always aware of walking my talk.

The alarm on my iPhone softly beams me up at 5:00 a.m. with the hair dryer shaping my long tresses… while I carefully apply a natural look in the oval mirror as dawn creeps in the window behind my dressing table offering warm morning light. Oh, the taste of my Maui coffee while I watch my sweetheart purr softly under the light covers in the pink dawn. I feel like a leading lady on the set getting ready for the director and cameraman to arrive…. all eyes on me, Queen for a Day!

I dress and grab a few extra tops for the morning shoot, following the photographer in my car as his truck winds up through the Sierras on its way to a meadow in Hope Valley (how appropriate the name) where we will carry and schlep everything to a variety of yummy spots near rushing streams of fresh snow melt. He has multiple pieces of equipment hanging from his strong shoulders while I gracefully pack in my beauty bag filled with the accouterments of the feminine plus water and snacks.

The now-hot sun lights up my inner glow. The nascent green grasses blow softly in the high mountain air. By now I couldn’t care less how my hair looks or what I’m wearing… I just know I am in God’s country where the Goddess feeds my soul. Camera… where? Pose… how? I just want to cry it’s so beautiful, and after many blinks of tearing eyes, the morning progresses with click after click of the camera and the Goddess dancing together in the high mountain meadow.

It took me about 3 days to come down from that leading role! Remembering that my teaching and my healing work are the nuts and bolts of my career, I can now step up to embrace the many testimonials of me and my work… the very core of my assignment as the founder of Divine Feminine Awakening for women and couples who are drawn to deeper love and pleasure.

An aside: I made sure I was photographed without a smile, compassionately listening to his girlfriend tell me her childhood story of violation and abuse, as that is my true nature. I listen to you with the same heart full of caring because I know your story is your doorway to freedom.

See you soon… let’s talk,

Big Love, Caroline

Sweet Summertime Immersion Special
for Women and Couples

Take your relationship (or your divinely feminine self) to the next level – 3 days with me in a private immersion!

$500 off when you book by July 15th and schedule in 2017. Please fill out a Discovery Session Application and we will discuss investment and other details by phone or Skype.

 

I had the honor of spending 90 minutes recently being interviewed by Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Conscious Uncoupling, for one of her private classes. It sparked powerful memories and fifty-odd years of relationship, love, separation. and divorce.

While many are doing the sacred work of “uncoupling,” I have lived that sacred work with Charles successfully since 1997. Best Beloved Friends is a worthy choice during and after ending what we believed was a “forever” marriage.

Now I share with you the picture that was taken of my first kiss with Will, fifteen years ago at Maui airport saying good-bye and Aloha to the only man who claimed my attention after my separation and ultimate divorce with the Beloved Charles, four years prior.

I pasted this little saying to the photo many moons ago and it’s still there, proudly the centerpiece of one of many altars in our home.

In speaking with Katherine I authentically praised her very successful and best-selling book, Calling In The One. I ponder about “the One,” having felt each time that I was marrying the One. Each moment with the One is each moment with whomever I am with, if that makes any sense to you. That, to me, is full Connection or showing up in full presence with each invitation to become “one.”

In my wisdom years, I now acknowledge there are more “the Ones” than we can ever imagine. Yet aching and yearning for the One is a function inside each of us that drives our psyche and our sexuality forward. In my thirty years of guiding and participating in Tantric Pujas (a moving mandala of loving presence with each person), I developed the skill of bringing one hundred percent of me into presence with a new individual each moment and in every breath. The tall, the short, or the not so attractive are each The One for those few precious moments in time.

This practice has taught me how huge love really is! And as the little sign in the picture says, staying in love is where real love resides. Living the love that I am is not always easy. I get irritable… I get impatient… I move at a different speed of light than my dearest One… I am annoyed when hard of hearing seems to be his choice, rather than his problem.

But real love, not pretend love, is the outcome of this awareness. This is the staying in love, deepening into love, and growing into the love that happens when a couple ages together over the long term of relationship. I would love to hear about YOUR experience of the work and the commitment it takes to continue deepening into the warm river of unconditional love …

To The One, Caroline

Becoming Ageless

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(Republished from December 2015)

Agelessness

Love and sex go together like birds of a feather… but when it comes to mid-life, us ageless women may have a bit of healing and awakening to do in order to reclaim the fullness of our passion.

Libido

For me, it seems that what I used to know as libido is no longer localized to the libido-center, but has seeped into all of me. Beware of falling into the belief that passion is only for the young, or younger! Passion lives in our whole being, as witnessed by the authors, artists, and spirited women who are living fully in their boundless creativity.

Sexual Energy

 Sexual energy is at the very core of our existence. It doesn’t die or lay fallow or even rise of its own accord… it must be cultivated by each one of us as a resource of creative energy gifted to us by God/ess Herself. Why else would so many post-menopausal women continue to birth projects, paintings, and proactive expressions of passion after their child-bearing years are past? Mid-life is just the beginning… the beginning of every woman’s fulfillment in ways she cannot imagine until that epiphany moment when she enters her next incarnation as a truly Spirited force.

Health Benefits

Life extension doctors and Ph.D.’s are in recognition and agreement about the health benefits of our sexual life force as a resource for longevity and vitality. Let’s not forget the sense of well-being inherent in knowing we are still able and capable of orgasmic pleasure long after libido wanes. I was privileged to participate on a panel once at the Science and Non-Duality Conference. It was there that I gleaned how ready neuroscience is to embrace sexual energy as a tonic for brain receptors and the release of nitric oxide in understanding what it is that makes us feel good. Nitric Oxide is the substance or molecule released by lightening during a thunderstorm and was the Molecule of the Year in 1992 (in case you were wondering!).

Life Force

So how do science and passion collide? Very little research is done on Female Sexual Response. We cannot overlook the gift of our sexual life force and how it can be brought to bear on many aspects of our daily life. The Practice of AH, the core teaching of Divine Feminine Awakening, is the single most valuable practice people can learn to incorporate into their intimate experiences. Loving, intentional touch and massage awakens the flow of molecules that keep our life force flowing well into mid-life and beyond.

How do you keep yourself ageless? Please share in the comments below.

Big Love, Caroline

“According to the tantric texts, women’s enlightenment is facilitated by the electric charge of her orgasmic nature. Through sexual sharing a woman activates a powerful sexual/spiritual energy, her Shakti, which then releases itself into her physical body and into her psyche, creating the atmosphere for her awakening and spiritual enlightenment.”

“Tantra recognizes spirituality as a kind of rearrangement of the same energy as sexuality, so when a woman increases her sexual power she adds, on an almost cellular level, to the strength of her spiritual aspect as well.”

From Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving

I am inspired to write to the men… to your man… perhaps to all men.

I need you, men, to know how many parts of you turn a woman on… way before she actually is entered by your Wand of Passion… your Wand of Light… your Wand of God… and for some… your great big beautiful Cock.

Of course, not all women are alike, but most women are alike in that we love anticipation. We love to feel our desire emanating from every cell of our being. But we seldom get that, because entry/thrusting/intercourse and climax are over so quickly. Unless, of course, you have all day Saturday, the kids are away, and you have enough energy to be sexually and creatively active for many hours. Did you know that the word climax means “Stairway to Heaven”? Too often we skip the steps in order to reach the top, but both lovers often do not reach the top due to extreme differences in arousal timing and preferences.

What turns me on is the seed planted in my brain that something special is about to happen. I will notice the scent of my man, a word or words that get my mind thinking about pleasure and intimacy, anticipating a “best ever” orgasmic experience that is leisurely and intensely focused on ME….. me me me me me me… until I can’t stand it and I need to focus on you you you you…. (and I will add here the same anticipation works when I know I am going to have a self-pleasuring date with myself).

The subtleties of touch, of kissing, of eyes locked together in passionate intimacy… the warmth of skin and the movements of bodies dancing in erotic rhythm. If every man and every woman reading this would write (or speak and record) his and her perfect sexual experience, how would that look or sound? How might we teach one another so that no one ever has to spend time in a relationship where he or she is unfulfilled? Many are at a loss for words when it comes to speaking and describing these sensual intimacies.

Would you please write a paragraph or two or three, in the privacy of your world? Send them to me without your names if you wish, and let’s see if we can create such a weaving of our innermost visions that they would manifest outwardly.

Thank you! I love you! I can’t wait to hear from you!

Big Love, Caroline

Sacred Insights

I quite regularly find myself speaking to women who are uncertain about the purpose and practice of Yoni Massage and Blessing as part of the Nurturing Practice of AH (Awakening and Healing). And yet, I see the demand for this uniquely feminine body of work rising every year.

We highlight the AH Practice as the transformational core of what we will be presenting during the Women’s Retreat in Costa Rica and the weekend in Chapel Hill. I’ve been leading groups of women in this ritual of ancient blessings since 1989.

Over these many years, the women who have attended and participated in the celebrations or rituals of Yoni Blessing have either known how important this blessing was and is to them or were at least willing to “land on the moon” and take the first step! Some of them signed up because they had seen this ritual in dreams. Some felt deeply that their yoni needed to receive “permission” from a Priestess to partake in sexual awakening and pleasure. Others could sense buried treasure within and wished for it to be revealed and released.

What I have witnessed during the sacred feminine ritual of touch to the hidden access to our feminine power could be filed as unbelievable or miraculous… the receiver is often quite surprised by what she remembers as the mysteries are opened after a long slumber. A memory of a past life or a scream of terror as the Inquisition is witnessed and felt all around her. She might remember something specific that she saw or felt during an abortion or during a sexual encounter that resulted in an unwanted pregnancy. She might feel the rejection or the abandonment of a beloved…. or she might surrender to the ecstatic energy within her as tears of gratitude flow. The true gift is contact with what blocks your pleasure and freedom to feel.

Trust issues with women, with mother, and with men often come to the surface. We teach the healing practice of presence, offering women infinite space to feel and release. What is held as separation between women is surprisingly transformed into pure intimacy. Many women ask “Why were we never shown this before?” or say things like “It makes so much logical sense that women would bless one another in this way!”

No one is ever required to participate or judged if they don’t. No one who isn’t ready is expected to have another women enter and bless her Sacred Space at all during our week-long retreat. It can sound very strange, threatening, or even weird from the point of view of reading about it on your computer, but you are invited to join and perhaps not know ahead of time if you are going to join in the ritual or not. I have held women who were too afraid to partake in the ceremony and asked them to reverently gaze at the scene before them… feeling all and fearing nothing. Your safety is assured.

There are often aftershocks, much like what happens post-earthquake when the land trembles with the shifts of the earth’s plates. When women dare to show up for one another as midwives of the sacred, our earth shifts. We are never quite the same again (in a “thank goodness” kind of way) for we emerge beyond the invisible fear of one another that we didn’t know we carried, a burden that separates. I have witnessed mothers and daughters partaking in the Goddess Blessing Ritual, only to “find” one another once and for all.

There are many stories in “the naked city.” When we dare to take off our masks and costumes and truly let down our hair, many secrets unfold. It is with great conviction that Amrita and I walk with you into the great mystery… the Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women in Costa Rica, Nov. 4-11. The $500 early-bird discount expires May 1st!

Oh, and be sure to join us for Sacred Feminine Conversations April 15. We will be exploring the concept of the Maga, the archetype between Mother and Crone. You can register here.

In Service to All,
Caroline