Couple With Hot Drink Relaxing By Fire

Long hours of snuggling under down comforters with my honey… pots of hot Chai steaming on the stove… the promise of many long conversations by the fire stretching out on sheepskin rugs in sexy flannels…

Gazing at the patio wet with a late fall rain, yellow and red leaves litter the grey stones from the majestic trees that are preparing for winter in our backyard. I feel into the natural state of hibernation, the inactive state, that moving into winter invites.

Bears do it… other animals and plants do it, yet the human animal tends to just keep going. I find resistance in myself to the idea of entering into a more dormant state of any kind. I admit to being someone who avoids inactivity, preferring motion as a means of constant exercise.

I like to keep moving. Moving is my way of meditating. Recently I heard my left knee calling for my attention… throbbing pain calmed by ice packs and thoughts of dreaded doctor appointments, MRIs, and worst of all, surgery! Instead, I pursue the healing arts with gusto, making more time to do my Pain Free Egoscue E-cises, upping the ante on my Green Drinks (thanks to Amrita who recently cared for me in her new home in North Carolina, and fed me THE most delicious green drinks every morning).

The relief for this knee arrived at the Naturopath’s office and an injection of ozone, or Prolozone. Brilliant!!! Immediately my energy returned and my recovered knee now supports all of my chosen activities. Whew! That was too close for comfort. Yes, I know, I’ll see the Orthopedic doc too for an MRI. I am simply too young to be knocked down by failing mechanical parts.

I admit to carrying a long-held belief system that I am my own best doctor and healer. Call it Naturopathy or Self Healing, but I make peace with hibernation so that I can listen more deeply as silence surrounds me. I don’t do Thanksgiving or Christmas family visits or dinners… I spend them hibernating! I often prefer fasting or juicing on holidays when I would normally collapse from stuffing and desserts. This being my last declared year living in “winter,” I am determined to make the most of it. Oh, by the way, does anyone want my skis, boots, helmet, and cutest Spider “on the slopes” jacket and pants, size 10? Going…. Going… Gone!

But before winter’s arrival, I made a trip to Western North Caroline (teehee, I renamed the state) to co-facilitate a magical weekend with Amrita. We raised the bar on Aphrodite with 13 amazing women! Offering the Nurturing Practice of AH, key to the Divine Feminine Institute trainings for many years, convinced us that groups for women must be reinstated. In conjunction with my move to Panama in August, 2017, we are scheduling a first-class Women’s Retreat in Costa Rica for November 2017, as the brand new Sacred Feminine Mystery School!

SFMS Logo clear

Say YES to next November with us in Costa Rica, tropical magical memories to take home to your winter’s abode… and fill yourself to overflowing with Sacred Feminine Mysteries. The sacred feminine is rising and we are rising to meet her!

 

What are your hibernating aspirations for this winter? What calls to you from deep inside your berry-filled cave?

In the spirit of the Seasons, Caroline (Caroleena)

My View from the Top

Panama momentI have always loved the view from the top. As a child in Kansas, it meant the top of the big old apple tree in our backyard. In New York City during my 20’s, it meant the view from the top of the Empire State Building. In my 30’s, it was the view from the top of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado… in my 40’s and 50’s in Maui, the view of Forever as I gazed out to the never-ending Pacific Ocean of horizon and sky.

….and on and on until this became essential to my view of the world and of my life.

At the moment my view is from the top of Trump Ocean Tower in Panama City, Panama. Please don’t confuse this as my choice for our next President… the guy does build nice buildings, i.e. the one on Fifth Avenue in NYC and this 70-story hotel in the Republic of Panama overlooking Panama Bay and the Panama Canal. The 66th floor outdoor café is thrilling (especially when the lovely tropical rain falls)!

What does this have to do with the Divine Feminine and the Awakening of the Goddess… well, many things! I love to watch women… and I love to watch men watching women. It is a privilege and a study much like viewing fine art in the museums of the world. It teaches me so much about the masculine/feminine dance of awe-inspiring desire, sex appeal, and the longing to merge. I see the insatiable curiosity to touch, to reach for the scent of another, to capture a gaze… and yet there is the steady protection to withhold, to look down, to walk the other way.

Here, were I am one in a million with eyes as blue as the sky, I love to capture those gazes. They see me as a creature from another planet… a “gringo” from another land. I feel the energy to connect. I return that. And the spark is complete… I feel aroused by this ‘salsa’ energy. It’s alive as the Shakti of the Yoniverse, converging with the Universe at all times.

Panama_CityMy skin is soft as a ripe Mango. I feel reborn. It’s more than a vacation. This is a vacation with a purpose… to apply and acquire a Residency Visa from the Panamanian Government… to feel firsthand the air, the people, the sky, and the water… absorbing the elements of jungle and concrete as they meet in harmony with advancing economic sky-scraping technological reality. “Poof”… said the magic dragon. What is next?

I will be home in Nevada for another 11 months. I will move the Immersions for women and couples to a tropical hideaway once I find the perfect place for you to deepen into your own Mango skin! Stay tuned my dear ones… the magic dragon might find you next!

In the awesome spirit of adventure, Señora Caroleena

Caroline & JohnnyI am happy that you are Free… free of the life-long struggle to know Peace of mind and Peace in your soul.

Johnny, you are without a doubt the most precious man I have ever known. You have a very tender heart, as well as the incorrigible ability to always show up for me. I know you managed a lot of complex issues, but you never dumped them on me. You always were the consistent and lovable person I knew from early childhood. You were the template for “Brother” that I will always insist on if any other brother ever comes my way!

We could laugh… we could play… we could really see life and family with a sense of humor. I think that saved our souls.

Emotion rips through me as I attempt to write this message to you. Your last words to me, “Don’t Cry,” describe the Niagara Falls of tears that simply prove how much I have and have not listened to your wisdom over the nearly 70 years of our sibling relationship. Big Sister and Little Brother… we have traded roles so many times into Big Brother and Little Sister.

I always depended on your wisdom even when you doubted it yourself. You have never been a burden, but always a deep well of kindness and love where I could land and feel safe. I still feel that you are very near.

I hear you now stronger and louder than ever. I comb through the photos of our family life, our visits to one another, our crack-up funny birthday cards, Christmas Cards, and my annual Easter call to you reminding you to wear your cute little plaid vest, pictured somewhere in the archives when you were about five and we hunted for Easter Eggs at Indian Hills Country Club… then lovingly fighting over who got the most chocolate marshmallow ones.

We survived our mother’s illness, living with our grandfather during her hospitalization… meeting in the kitchen to fill our lost tummies with cans of Campbells Tomato Soup and Hormel Chili, followed by three-stack packages of Oreo cookies and milk. We were for one another the love we were seeking! Our childhood bonded us into beloveds with a money-back guarantee that we were always meant to be 100% there for one another. And we always were.

That has been our gift to one another… to be the love that our little souls would seek. To be the one most trusted friend in all the world. We are one another’s deepest connection to Source through each other. We always will be. And we could share such deep intimacies, especially when as adults we broke the ice and began talking about sex. That was a big taboo for two little Kansas kids, but it allowed us to acknowledge and gain respect for one another as whole adults, not just little kids pretending to be grown up.

I could always tease you!!! The green hand that appeared in the shadows of childhood story-telling followed us until death parted us. I remember telling you in the hospital to ‘look for the green hand… it would guide you home’. Some folks say look for the Light, but we had our own language and imagery, didn’t we my beloved brother?

I am so grateful to Celedra and her family for they held you in family love these past years, where your soul could rest and begin to let go to the wonders of love and support. I wished I could have done that for you, but I know you got exactly what you needed and so deserved, dearest One.

I am forever and always your Sister in this life and hopefully in all of our lives to come…. Or any combination of togetherness that we might choose… I will always be your

Carolyn…

Kernie …

Sister…

… and all of the nick names you had to live with!!!

The Goddess of Genoa

Goddess EarthLife is here to be lived. Thanks to so many of you who sent your sincere condolences to my family and me in honor of the passing of my brother, Johnny. I see and feel him constantly, always laughing and encouraging me to make the absolute most of every moment. And so it is…

The best medicine is getting back to work, and I have a very full summer of private Immersions with women and couples. The Immersions are 3 days and 3 nights in which people stay in the beautiful private Studio next to my home here in the quaint little town of Genoa. Genoa is nestled into the east slope of the Sierra, a 30-minute drive to Heavenly Ski Resort in South Lake Tahoe.

Women fly into Reno and generally rent a car from Budget as they make their way to my home in an easy 50-minute drive. Last week a delightful client rang my bell announcing her arrival, and I showed her to the Studio where she squealed in delight at the unexpected beauty and elegance. She then proceeded to tell me that the agent at Budget had given her an upgrade from an economy car to a luxurious 4-door midsize.

“Why?” She asked the agent. “Well, I see you are going to Genoa. Are you going to see the Goddess of Genoa? All the ladies return from their visit to Genoa starry-eyed and shaking their heads in disbelief when I asked them how their stay in Genoa was for them. They reply, ‘I have been to see the Goddess of Genoa!’”

Now it was my turn to squeal in amazement! “What? I am known at Budget Rent-a-Car at Reno airport as the Goddess of Genoa?” Will this be written on my epitaph in memory of a life well lived, I wonder?

And so, as I gaze into my lovely backyard, majestic trees waving in the summer air, I feel very human. I have the Aphrodite Arising workshop with Amrita to look forward to in October, during which time I will drink in the colors of the Fall and sit in circle with amazing women for a weekend in the Smoky Mountains.

I’m also super-excited to soon be releasing the digital version of my new online course, Living A Turned-On Life.

On another note, the home I built in Maui is for sale by the current owners! Take a look at the video tour!

You will be hearing lots more from me throughout the Fall…

In devotion, Caroline

Sweetest Sorrows

John & Caroline youngI am quietly processing the passing of my only and dearest brother, my only and dearest sibling. His name was John Cusack. I called him Johnny from the day he was born, July 2nd, 1947.

Since his passing on July 1st, I can barely keep up with daily life, let alone tend to business, pay bills, or think straight. He was and will always be my best friend… my baby brother for nearly seventy years.

My little brother was placed in my arms when I was three and a half years old. I remember the moment so clearly. Our bond never weakened, but only grew. We survived the dysfunction of our family… we always had each other’s backs. The love between Johnny and Caroline was an indestructible force that carried us both through marriages, divorces, cross-country moves, the death of both of our parents, and the birth of at least five grandchildren (so far).

We never fought. The presence of unconditional love was never a question, yet always a balm of comfort for us both. I once accidentally set his house on fire! His response was gentle and with a soft smile, “Oh Caroline… now look what you’ve done!” Shaking his head, he brought me a cup of coffee and we praised the neighbors for seeing the flames and calling the Fire Department.

I saw myself as the mean (or more accurately, ‘less-loving’) older sister, but I also led him into much popularity when I was Captain of the Cheerleaders at our boarding school in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. He was a hunk of a linebacker on our football team, The Panthers. Johnny was the best brother a girl could ever have, bar none!

Hot burning tears drop on my computer keys as I write this. They also plopped into my oysters at a downtown Portland oyster bar when I got the text from his beloved wife that “Johnny has passed.”We immediately ordered the best bottle of Champagne, as Johnny would have insisted on, before we found our Uber ride back to the hospital. My sweetheart Will was with me at the hospital for several days in the soft and quiet hours of our farewell to Johnny.

John & Caroline olderI never imagined experiencing that my next of kin would look intently into my eyes and declare, “I am ready to die. Go get those damn doctors in here and unhook me from all this crap. I want to die.” My response… “Darlin’, I am heading down the hall to get this job done.” As I resolutely exited his room, his wife arrived and assisted me in the task of alerting the hospital staff. Shortly after, the ‘drip’ began and all life support was removed. For three days we stroked and touched him lovingly as his dearly devoted mate poured her love into him and crawled into his bed to hold his body close to her throughout the eerie hospital nights.

I witnessed the presence of his beautiful, loving son and countless friends who came to sit by his side. The soft murmur of “Om Mani Padme Hum” Mantra was chanted to invoke the benevolent blessings of the embodiment of compassion by members of the Tibetan Buddhist Dharma Center. This was a vigil… a death ritual as moving as any celebration of life I have ever witnessed. One cannot live without the other. Life and Death are siblings as are brother and sister. I’m inspired now to begin my study of Tibetan Buddhism from home at Dharma Ocean.

May your Life begin again and again each moment of each day, Caroline

Oregon is one of only four states that has passed legal legislation around Death with Dignity… the FREEDOM of terminally ill people to make their own end-of-life DECISIONS.

LATOL New FBHello my friend,

I am filled with the intoxication of a summer picnic, cold watermelon and frozen yogurt pops on a beach with dearest friends.

I am pregnant with fulfillment. I am hungry for more…

Rapture is how being in love feels.
Ecstasy is the place where rapture lives!

Yes, I said that… and that is how I am feeling since the completion of my online course, Living A Turned-On Life. I have met and merged with the amazing women who committed to a program to learn the core of my teachings.

I define my teachings as a synthesis of the stepping-stones that I have landed on that fed me with transformation, radiant health, and a litany of tools with which to nourish my soul and spirit. Now I’ve had the opportunity to define those stepping stones so that women can learn and integrate such valuable pieces of life as loving men, being loved by men, being loved fully by themselves, sexual and orgasmic harnessing of the energy of Life… this is an education of the highest order!

Many of you will want to participate in this program the next time it is offered. I now have the confidence I never had about the value of what I know and how I am able to present it.

Please stay tuned to these divinely feminine insights as I begin to unfurl more of the mystery. I have had thoughts of creating a Living A Turned-On Life course for men, but as I look deeply at that, I believe that men primarily DO live a Turned-On Life. And we women can learn from you about that!!!

The antidote of Pro-Aging vs. Anti-Aging is one that captures my Shakti and passion. All we women need is a formula that informs accurately where the media does not. Having turned-on Health, turned-on Wealth, turned-on Pleasure, turned-on Treasure, turned-on kids and turned on days and nights is an inside job!

Attitude is Everything and Energy is Everywhere. So please stay with me for more turned on information that feeds your education and excites your taste buds!

Big Love, Caroline

How Turned-On would you like YOUR life to be? Please share in the comment section below.

Rarely have I ever seen this particular topic covered with such elegance as in the Tedx talk delivered by Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage-Boosting Your Marriage Libido. She does a great job of revealing the pitfalls of a relationship where one partner desperately wants sex and the other is apathetic or unwilling.

 

One of my favorite parts in her talk is when she speaks about her real-life client stories. In particular, she talks about one spouse who reluctantly agrees to have sex, then remembers how enjoyable it is. Sadly, the spouse usually forgets again and the cycle continues.

 

Ms. Weiner-Davis talks about how a long-term sex-starved marriage often leads to divorce. She believes that there are ways to heal such situations, and gives 3 lessons:

 

1. You need to know your own way of connecting, but even more importantly, you need to become an expert in how your partner wants to connect.

 

2. If you are with someone who is yearning for more closeness, don’t delude yourself into thinking that sex is just “scratching an itch” and not that important. It’s a powerful way of connecting and bonding with someone you love.

 

3. When you understand your partner’s way of connecting, whether you agree with it or not, just do it. Healthy relationships are based on mutual caretaking and acts of love.

 

She concludes by saying that we have to take better care of each other to make the world a more loving place, one marriage, one relationship at a time.

 

I would love to get your input on this.

 

Big Love, Caroline

Do you happen to possess true self-confidence? I’m talking about more than just liking yourself. I mean truly feeling the breadth, the depth, and the pervasive, uplifting energy of life force that pours off of you in waves of self-acceptance that everyone around you can feel.

That would entail walking with authentic pride everywhere you go. That means you are in your mastery and power during intimacy. That also means you are in full disclosure behind your eyes… hiding nothing and exposing everything, fearlessly.

I’ve been looking back on my own journey of reclaiming, and remembering what it means to be embodied and in alignment with the divine in me. When I see or read or meet someone who has found that “spark” of passion to share or teach something that has given them a part of life they were missing, I bow in recognition and respect. This is what turns me on about someone… their unwavering assurance of what they are here to do.

During this going “inward” time I spoke about in a recent blog, I was ignited by a woman who in her sixties who found a new career. Cindy Joseph came across my screen on Facebook, and I immediately watched her video and then just as quickly ordered a beginners set of her new product line, BOOM! by Cindy Joseph, makeup for women over 40. Everything she is saying is exactly what I need to hear. Where else would I go to learn how older women wear makeup?

Her philosophy of “Pro-Aging” versus “Anti-Aging” got my juices flowing. Yes! Of course! When I think about how subtly subversive media messages and advertising are for women around aging, it seems so obvious! As I continue to heal the skin on my face from the laser procedure, I am confronted with something many men and women have struggled with, something that has an impact on their confidence. Acne scars, thinning lips, under-eye bags, drooping eyelids, crooked yellowing teeth… turkey necks, for god’s sake! Oh yes, don’t forget thinning hair, graying hair, and no hair.

Lack of self-confidence can be very painful. It undermines our knowing that we are beautiful human beings and that aging is a natural process. Others may not see what we feel… but you know, don’t you? Do your insides quiver when you feel the pain of not being sure of yourself? I am dedicated to helping others grow beyond what holds them back. It’s not just one thing you need to do, or even three steps that you must take… it’s a mindset shift. And people like Cindy Joseph are leading the way. BOOM! is the sound of the start of a revolution!

Tell me your inside story! What physical or emotional attribute holds you back from radical confidence? I want to know.

Juicy Love from Caroline

If you haven’t read part 1 of this post, it lays the foundation for this conversation. You can read it here.

 

mature-woman-850600_1920If you are a woman over 50, how are you presenting yourself to the world? As a sexless granny? Or as the amazing, beautiful, sexy woman that you inherently are? It doesn’t matter how old you are, what size you are, or how many wrinkles you have. Your life force moves within you as much as you allow it until the day you leave this earthly plane.

 

We KNOW that older women hold the wisdom of life experience and the fire of deep pleasure within them. I can hardly think of anything more toxic to our feminine power than to deny who we really are! This kind of sexist stereotyping can lock women into a deep hunger that they have little permission to explore or satisfy. It’s time to get real.

 

Mature women who hide their essential feminine core are only pretending… as if there is something wrong with being fully alive. Who are you protecting? Your sons? Your reputation? This is something that may have been passed down from your own mother. And to her from her mother. It’s time for the old paradigm to shift. Let go of what no longer serves you! It’s time to be ALL that you truly are as a woman and a sexual, sensual being!

 

Please, share your feelings and thoughts about this topic. It’s VERY important and very much “up” right now in our culture.

Big Love, Caroline

Should Mature Women Hide Their Bodies?

Dr. Jenn Brandt, director of Women’s and Gender Studies at High Point University, recently responded to a tweet that raises some major assumptions about women’s sexual identity as we age. The tweet, made by Piers Morgan, accused actress Susan Sarandon of being “very tacky” for showing off her “ample cleavage.”

In her response, Dr. Brandt hit the nail on the head when she said: “We have two roles for women: when they’re young, a femme fatale sex object and then after that a mother or caregiver role.”


Let’s face it… breasts produce the milk that feed our offspring. Women nurse their young in public, though usually draped. As a woman in her ’70’s I would do exactly as Susan Sarandon has done… she ’shared’ her lovely breasts because she is still connected to her sensuality, her female confidence, and her passion for herself. She gets my vote!

The article goes on to say, What’s underneath all of this back and forth is society’s collective fear of a woman old enough to be a grandmother flaunting her sexuality. Women “of a certain age” are traditionally offered a limited range of activities; wearing muumuus, baking cookies and/or knitting. When a woman challenges that stereotype, it can and often does ruffle feathers.

knitting-150970_1280For those men who uncomfortable with sexy women over 50… I bet my bottom dollar they see every older woman as their mother, and mothers are definitely relegated to the hidden, invisible “granny corner” by their sons!

 

Young men usually do not acknowledge their mothers and their mother’s contemporaries as alive, sensual, fully vibrant women who love their passion and love to play with it.

 

These moms have had to hide their feminine sensual side all of their lives so not to arouse their sons! What kind of toll does that take on a woman? And what good does it actually do for anyone to “protect” the sexual security of men?

 

What’s YOUR opinion on society’s expectations of women over 50?

 

What do you believe is REALLY possible for a woman over 50 in terms of her sexual energy and identity as a feminine being?

 

Please share this with the women you know and love who are over 50.