How Free Are You?

 

I recently returned from FreedomFest – The Worlds Largest Gathering of Free Minds 10th  anniversary conference in Las Vegas, Nevada. Several thousand out-of-the-box thinkers and women who make history gather each year to share ideas, concepts, and observations about the state of our freedoms on many levels… political and financial to life extension and our health care and many more. The prevailing parties were Libertarian and Independent.

I could not have imagined that I would be so stimulated by such an intellectually brilliant gathering, while back in my Tantra days, love and connection were the leading components of any event. Not only were the lectures, talks, and debates fascinating at from a classroom point of view, but the conversations that take place extemporaneously during the social time during coffee breaks and book signings could surprise even the jaded old hands of former think tanks!

We explored new frontiers such as a New America, Is Big Brother Here?, Crisis Ahead, and Free Enterprise, just to name a few. For ten years this conference has been produced by Mark and Jo Ann Skousen, a couple of 45 years who has collaborated on over 25 books, raised five children, and lived on both Coasts including Washington, DC, the Bahamas, Florida, New York and California. Two of their children helped produce this event and I admit I felt as though I had landed with a large family I didn’t yet know but was very welcome to belong to.

As for spending 4 days in Las Vegas, I can honestly say that the place itself and the people who populate this Gambling Hall (hell) of Heaven is the Best Show in Town. I filled up on exquisite food at every meal, cultivated a mind-expanding view of people choosing unnatural air, enjoyed the chaos of Times Square in what is referred to as Disneyland for Adults, and all at a high cost of hard-earned money. I, who chooses trade winds that blow across the oceans and the scent of a forest, easily over-rode the smoke-filled air of the Casinos in order to not miss a thing.

With the prevailing statements from highly educated movers and shakers filling the air with thought-forms such as Laissez Faire Free Market Anarchy and Finding Freedom in an Unfree World, I am reminded of the book that changed my personal thinking and shaped my world at the age of 14, Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged. I am happy to say that Ayn’s philosophy and dedication to her work lives on in the minds and hearts of millions. We have rebirthed her ideas into our own ideals in order to play a role in defining America and a United State(s) of unconditional freedom based on the early Founding Fathers and Mothers (well, the Mothers came later, and that’s where I come in.) The wonderful quote by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, “Well-behaved women seldom make history,” leads me to share with you a few of the women making history at the Conference:

Lyn Ulbricht, who is leading her son’s arduous fight against injustice and an unprecedented 2-lifetimes sentence.

Courtney Balaker, writer and director of The Little Pink House, the story of a woman’s legal fight to save her home that led all the way to the Supreme Court.

Sometimes referred to as the Mother of the Modern Tantra Movement in America, I define myself as a Pioneer of radical individualism in my particular area of sexual education and consciousness via The Art of Conscious Loving and the Divine Feminine (who She is and how She is evolving). It is with great pride that I place myself beside women in history such as Mary Magdalene, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Helen Keller, Oprah Winfrey, Amelia Earhart, Ayn Rand, and the many, many courageous women who have left us with important life-changing and transformational Truths. The Goddess comes in many forms and she leads on many fronts. If I think too highly of myself by choosing co-conspirators as listed above, I suppose time will tell. I think there is room in the Time Capsule for all of us!

How do you define yourself among the women of history (or herstory)?

Big love, Caroline

The Mother Wound

One of my dear friends recently went into the hospital to fulfill her doctor’s recommendation that she have a hysterectomy to remove her uterus. This recommendation was due to a pap smear cancer alarm that could affect the health or longevity of her uterus. She was devastated.

She came to me grieving deeply about this loss. She told me that her only daughter was in residence at one time in her womb and that her daughter is quite precious to her. I pondered this situation, noticing that my usual compassion was not up to par as I listened. Even though I contacted and blessed my friend internally, I was having a hard time raising my healing love focus to the point where I felt I was doing some good.

Segue to my early life….

I have never been pregnant nor ever delivered a child. My uterus (womb) was removed during my mid-twenties, along with both ovaries and my cervix. I didn’t know how to miss them as I had never met them in the first place.

I adopted my daughter nearly fifty years ago. I suppose you could say it hasn’t turned out well, as she chooses only a very distant relationship with me; whereas I continue to feel into a commitment to love her unconditionally and eternally. I so desire a close relationship with the only daughter I will ever know! And I realize that probably sounds a bit dramatic, as realistically I have thousands of daughters that I have bonded with through my work as an educator and practitioner of conscious loving and sexual healing. Nonetheless… I have a need to be very personal in this blog.

These are the confessions of a woman who didn’t know how to be a mother! And my Mother could barely figure it out, which no doubt led to my uncertainty into the world of mothering. Yet the longing to experience and be a mother never leaves the place inside that aches for the best-friendship possibility with this stranger I’ve called my darling daughter now for nearly fifty years!

Mothering comes naturally to me in my work. I am all female with some masculine characteristics thrown in. I love to nurture, care-take, and protect. I do that with the men in my life and I do it with girlfriends when they need that kind of attention. I do it with my clients, nurturing and attending to their needs while they are in my care. I do it pretty well for me also, mothering myself well when I feel the ache for a mother’s love. I have raised two cats and three puppies in my day… successfully I must say! And “Mama Queenie” is the nickname I was given during my travels in Bali years ago by all of the Balinese mammas who nourished me so deeply.

The Mother Wound is so pervasive in our culture. Is there a woman who doesn’t know the work that it takes to come into alignment and acceptance with their mother? The very fact that we form within our mother’s emptiness, also known as her source, is an invisible umbilical cord that haunts us for life. I seek answers to all of this. Please… what do you know? Share your story with me in the comments.

We are going to dive deeper into this discussion during our next free global video conference, Sacred Feminine Conversations on Feb 11th. Hope you can join us.

Big Love, Caroline