Tantric Breakup

We unwove as consciously as we had woven ourselves together…and that was very, very consciously and slowly, during four days of deep purification and energy work–and energy play–at a Tantra retreat that left no shadows undiscovered. On the last evening. Finally. We kissed. And I realized.

At first glance, he had been too beautiful for me, and therefore, I surmised, gay—so well groomed, such good posture, pen perfectly placed beside his journal. Beautiful men are surely vain. Or gay. That was the easiest way to dismiss this man who stood out in the circle of 40. But he wouldn’t easily be dismissed. For example, one day at lunch I had a passing, silent, fantasy: wouldn’t it be great if this retreat had waiters, who’d take my plate and bring me dessert—and just then the beautiful and surely vain man beside me offered to take my plate and bring me dessert. I was stunned. I let him. Way to make my dreams come true!

The first day of the retreat, during a very boundaried exercise, women had been instructed to ask their partner (whether brought from home or met mere hours ago at the workshop) what level of touch he was comfortable with: on his perineum or inches away.  So I had asked him, my partner of the moment, my beautiful, surely vain, possibly gay, future psychic waiter. Let’s call him Rudy.

“What level of touch would you like?” I asked.

Rudy replied, with zero attachment, “Whatever you’re comfortable with,” and I was struck by his verbal chivalry. It mattered not to him how he was touched; he cared about his partner’s comfort level. There was something about him.

Me being me, by the end of that very clearly instructed, efficiently orchestrated Tantra exercise, I had my hand in his pants. That was not part of the instruction. But I can be spontaneous. I like to break rules. Hand in pants was what I was comfortable with! Here was this gorgeous young specimen spooned in front of me, either gay or not gay, definitely not vain, but cute and fresh with his Aveda scent, and there went my hand. He was irresistible. I was opportunistic. We were enjoying getting acquainted. But I had some well-set boundaries and had lunch with someone else that day.

At the end of the second to last night of the workshop, late, when clothes were a distant memory to all of us, when all the body paint had been used on each other, I noticed that someone in his group had scrawled on his bare abdomen, like graffiti, “Sublime lingam,” with an arrow pointing downward. Couldn’t help but notice. I’d noticed his sublime lingam too, more than once in that 5-day course when we’d been unclothed. It was just plain sweet. I noticed a fleeting bit of envy that someone else had labeled his lingam. To be honest, I am much more taken by women than men. But this man was cracking my foundation…in a good way, gently, thoroughly. The next night, the final night of the workshop, fully clothed, when all of the guided moments of the puja were over, in a moment of play, I surprised him with a full frontal kiss on the mouth. Immediately, I too was surprised: I really, really liked it.

Who knew?

He did. He’d had his third eye on me since long before the retreat, when he had created a vision to meet a woman just like me…and had an intuition to attend this level two Tantra retreat, “knowing” he would meet her there. At a meal, he had overheard me telling a friend that I would love to have a male Tantra partner who was willing to dive deep with me, and not have it be about going to a movie and dinner first. I wanted the sex to come first.  I wanted it to be just about sex. I was not into dating or having a boyfriend.  I wanted to learn to move my sexual energy, unite my Shakti with Shiva, whatever that even would mean in real life.  I could go to movies with my friends. I could go to movies alone. I wanted Divine sexual Union.  In case he’d been wondering whether I was the woman he’d created in his intention or not, this clinched it. Little did I know–I hadn’t even known he’d been listening.

Over the next few days of the retreat we spent plenty of time giggling and partnering and rubbing each other’s feet and on the last night decided that the retreat would not be the end of Us. I arrived home to a poem he had written and emailed me. About Us. We plunged into what became a five and a half year long-distance revelry. Right away, we decided not to call it a ‘relationship,’ which implied effort, compromise, goals, seriousness.

“Let’s call it a journey,” I offered, and we embarked.

Before our first sexual experience, I said, “I want to love you as much as I love you and not have it be about anything. Not about diamond rings or moving or the future. I want it to be about love itself.”

“Perfect,” he said, in his laconic way, with the smile that fed my heart. And I committed to love him as much as I loved him, whatever that meant in any given moment, and if I didn’t feel the love, it would be all about me and zero about him. That was our mutual commitment.

Rudy was so easy to love, and as a bonus, he could make chai from scratch and came equipped with countless compelling stories about traveling in India. I was enchanted. He was funny, excellent in the kitchen, and he gave me plenty of space to be me. Over the years, I loved him no matter what, trained myself to recognize and transform any judgment about him that would seek to keep me out of Love. I learned there was nothing he needed to change about who he was; I just needed to release my own habit of judgment.

Let’s never wish we were anywhere other than Here Now, we decided at the end of our first weekend together. Let’s not want what we don’t have. Let’s channel the love and desire into our own life rather than wishing we were together when we’re apart. And…the biggest: we will handle our own issues, seeing each other as mirror. Period. I commit. Only if we absolutely couldn’t resolve an issue on our own would we bring it to each other’s attention. It was pure bliss. Whether he flew to Chicago or I flew to Miami, it was about sex, reverence, play, indulgence. Not about issues.

“Just so you know, I can’t be monogamous,” I had said that first weekend. “It’s not who I am.”

“Ok,” he said. “Whatever works for you.”

“Actually, I want to be monogamous,” I said, the second weekend, a few weeks later. “With you.”“Ok,” he said. “Me too.”

Immediately, people—friends, clients–began to ask me where our relationship was going, what our plans were. “It’s a journey. No destination,” I’d say, and that didn’t always register. So I would over-explain. “It’s a journey. It’s not about where we aren’t, what we don’t have. I have a partner who looks at me with reverence. He doesn’t want anything from me, except to be a mirror. I don’t want it to be anything other than what it is.”

“But really, when are you going to get married?” they’d ask. People had simply no paradigm for a girl-boy alliance that wasn’t “going” somewhere, leading to something permanent.

We had made an agreement around sex, right away. There was no flirting or messing around, no wondering who would make a move. We made as clear an agreement as we could make. It went like this: “Let’s have sex.” And at any given time, after sex, or after breakfast, or during dinner—often—one of us would say, “Let’s talk about sex.” It was our favorite topic. There was no stone left unturned; neither of us was too shy to say how something felt, what we wanted more of, less of. We both cared about how we could generate more energy to play in, how we could circulate that energy, between, within, around us. It was heavenly.

More than one person—and these were the people who I could actually tell—wondered how on earth we could have sex for four hours a day.  “Well, we split it up.  It’s about two hours in the morning.  Two in the afternoon.” Rarely did we have sex at night, before bed, like everyone else. (That was our time for eating pie.)

But what on earth do you do for two hours, they would wonder aloud. And what makes it tantric? And do you ever just want to have a quickie? And does he ever get to ejaculate?

These are all good questions. We could have sex for four hours a day because we had magnets implanted at the beginning of time, magnets that drew us to each other. I have no better explanation. We were drawn.  e knew there was a higher purpose to it, and the purpose was to move this supercharged energy, to not have sex be about sex, but about personal transformation, then about making the world a better place. Whatever we wanted to clear up, clean up—that’s where we would direct the energy, intuitively and intentionally. He could tell which way the energy was flowing—or not flowing, which was a special gift of his. As we cooked, we blessed our food with the sacred energy we had created; it was a way of reabsorbing it. Sexual energy wasn’t lost in the way that it is during Western sex, because, even if we did eventually have orgasms, it was after transmuting the energy.

I think it worked—we worked–because in addition to loving sex, we both loved to meditate; our sex was a compelling combination of both. Before ever meeting me, he had practiced maintaining an erection, which required a level of discipline; but if he didn’t maintain it, I didn’t fear that it was about me. (And if he did accidentally prematurely ejaculate (which for us meant, well, 45 minutes in) then, of course, it was about me; because he just couldn’t control himself.) I had no reason to ever think I was anything but utterly compelling to him. Because we had no issues—not because we had no issues, but because of our initial commitment to have no issues.

Did we ever want to have a quickie? No. What made it tantric? Being conscious of the energy flow, conscious of knowing each other as Divine. Being conscious of every breath, every moment, while in ecstasy. Sending the energy where we wanted it to go. Did he get to ejaculate? Yes! He knew when it was physically necessary, and his timing was masterful. (And if I may digress, did you know that the ejaculate of a meditator is known to be supercharged with consciousness? Indeed. I have a friend who once requested semen from a monk so she could use it for a facial. It’s a long—and funny—story. Truly one of my coolest, most self-realized friends. So, men who save their semen, tantricly—men who run the sexual energy through their body without ejaculating—as opposed to monks, who we assume don’t run any sexual energy at all—have some very precious nectar.  Sort of a fountain of youth.)  Meanwhile, in addition to experiencing the delights of Rudy’s Shiva energy, we would also explore the secrets of female ejaculate.  The female body is quite the storehouse for emotions. I’d laugh, then cry hysterically. Or cry, then laugh hysterically. Then we’d have to rest.  There was just no TIME for a quickie.

What intrigued me, ultimately, even more than sex with him, was, actually, pujas, blessings, ritual.  Sex goes hand in hand with puja, for me, and at this level of sexual-spiritual, I can barely tell them apart.  Reverence was the main course.  I was just as happy to be fully clothed, blessing him in any way my imagination permitted.  And he was willing to receive what the Goddess, as embodied by his earthly partner, had to offer.  Even though it was all about sex with us, at the same time it was not at all about sex.  At least in the traditional sense.

No one understood.  And that was fine.

We could do it forever.

Until we didn’t.  Until…five plus years in.  It seemed as though we had peaked.  Our journey a macrocosm, in a way, for the act of intercourse itself.

It was time to either set new intentions or separate.

When we broke up, I released so much energy, so much, I could barely identify it all.  It filled my car, where I sat, holding my phone.  It was fear and dread…and I didn’t make up any stories around it. I just felt it. There had been nothing to fear except the fear of breaking up, which had built up in me, and maybe us, over a couple of months.  When he’d answered his phone, I had said, “One of us needs to be the one to call the other one and break up, so, I volunteer.

“Ok,” he said.

Just like when we had come together, when we broke up there was a recurrent question from my posse out in the real world:  “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” I would reply.  “It was just time.  The energy was no longer supporting our Union.”

“But…what did he do, what happened with you two?  You seemed so in love!”  We were.  So in love.

The first cultural assumption is that a good and viable relationship must be permanent.  The second assumption is that surely something went wrong if it didn’t “last.”  Who made this up?  That true love lasts forever is such a prevalent assumption. What if true love and true union and the beauty of coming together have nothing to do with permanence?  What if they have to do with presence? Until you choose not to be present?

“What happened?” people asked, with deep sympathy. “I am so sorry!” It was difficult to explain why there was nothing to be sorry about, without sounding delusional, in denial, new agey…the expectation of pain was so high, among everyone.  I really did sound like I was in denial. I found myself almost wondering if something were indeed wrong with me…callousness, for example.  Because it didn’t hurt.  It felt great.

“And how is he taking this?” I’d be asked.

“He feels the same way,” I said, more than once. It was so simple.  But only to us, it seemed.  Even out of union, I loved our Union, our agreement to be simple, our agreement to be immune to potential dramas, our agreement to create our own unique itinerary on our journey.

We exited in the same high level of consciousness at which we entered: present, engaged, listening to our hearts, listening from our hearts.  It was lovely, and I could only celebrate.  But because our way of celebrating had always been, well, sex, we didn’t actually celebrate.

What an amazing 5-year path of discovery, of learning to be receptive, of opening to the masculine Divine, of letting my Divine Feminine be present with no need to hold back, ask for a guarantee, or claim ownership.

I had learned to experience higher consciousness as embodied by this man, specifically as delivered by his sublime lingam.  I had learned to let that energy travel through my spine, like a pole of light that exposes anything that isn’t Love.  I had learned to revel unfettered in my own Divine Feminine, in Shakti, the energy of creation, to ride with it for hours that felt like moments and moments that felt like hours.  I had learned to expose it all, without feeling exposed.  I had learned to love someone no matter what.  I had learned that monogamy is simply placing all my eggs in one basket, but that it’s important to be selective about the basket.

Quite a journey.  At its completion, we were both sated, filled, changed.

So yes.  The breakup was conscious. Tantric.  “What if we take all of our sexual energy, our lower chakra connections, and bring it up into our hearts,” he suggested.

“And what if we take all of our shared consciousness, the psychic moments where we know what each other is doing, and bring that down into our hearts.  So going forward, we feel like dear friends and not exes,” I said.

“Perfect,” he said.  We were so aligned.

We sat there on the phone together and did it, brought the energy into our hearts.  I felt nothing but love for him.  So much love that I was tempted to not break up.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you too.”

Our Divine journey was finished. I was grateful that we had seen it coming—we had seen it coming because of the clarity we embodied.  We had seen it coming, so our journey could exist forever in its pristine state: we had never had a fight, rarely a disagreement, there was no blame to assign, there was nothing either of us had “done.” We were just done.

We were happily, beautifully, complete. And yes, there was a part of me that wanted to get naked with him, right then, to celebrate—and I think that pretty much sums up why Tantra is the perfect spiritual path for me.

In retrospect, beyond our Divine journey, what I have to celebrate is this: you too can do it a whole new way. You can love and be loved, without having it have to be about anything but love. You can come together consciously and exit consciously—or not exit at all, and just stay conscious. You can call in the partner of your dreams, and they can be better than you’ve ever dreamed. You can live in Love. You can choose the most blissful spiritual growth path imaginable—sex!, and Let Love Rule. We do not need to live within an old paradigm that was designed by people who were not as enlightened as we now are. We can design a unique New Paradigm that feeds and sustains our bodies, minds, and spirits. Now is the time.

 

My thoughts, as I rose the day before the Solar Eclipse of 2017, were filled with images of opening to Divine Light and releasing our (yours and mine) rage and grief that we’ve carried as women for too long. I chose to consciously release into Mother Earth in order to compost what I have taken in from women during the 30 years I have been involved with the Awakening Feminine. And into me, your Queen, I invited the transmissions from Yoniversal/Universal Love.

Tantra Yoga evolved for me into the Divine Feminine and Her inevitable awakening on this plane. I actively seek alignment with the rewiring that is always at work within my heart and soul.

An eclipse is a reflection of what is possible and how we are being asked to participate. To be a Queen who takes her throne on the seat of the Heart of Love is a lofty ideal. The Bodhisattva teachings bring heaven to earth. Not a bad assignment for a girl from the prairies of Kansas now residing in the land of She… Wild and Free!

I love this piece from Mystic Mamma:

TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE | NEW MOON in LEO rises as the Queen within takes her throne on the seat of the Heart of Love. 

Divine Feminine energy comes through the veil to awaken humanity to its true power in love.

A new way is calling as the outmoded, short-sighted, repressive ways of the Patriarchy are no longer tolerable or permissible. We the people awaken and new leaders step forth.

Together, we rise in consciousness for an inclusive humanity. Together, we cast away the illusion of separatism and step forth to heal the divides within ourselves, our partnerships, and our communities.

Each of us has the power to shift and realign with the heart as we let go, forgive, ask for forgiveness, and move through our collective grief to our seat of personal power within the heart of love

And so, my earthly and astrological friend, I ask you to receive your download at this time as it relates to your own very personal divine assignment. Receiving a download feels much like being struck by lightning, but in a positive way, not a way that would fry you to bits! It is a Birth process into a new form of leadership led entirely by the Heart of Love.

I wish to give thanks to Lauren Jubelier and Amrita Grace for this Gift of insight. The Shamanic path, whether it be Healing, Breathwork, or Astrology, is not for the faint of heart, but for the warriors and leaders of the coming Age of Truth.

Are you In? Tell me how the Great American Solar Eclipse affected you in the comments below!

Love, Your Queen of Hearts during a period of Cosmic Initiation

Six months of planning! Growing out my hair, longer than it’s been in 25 years. Finding a local photographer for a photo shoot so I would have new pictures to show you on Facebook and on my website. Choosing the perfect days… the perfect weather… for perfect outdoor pictures…. The perfect yet vulnerable divinely feminine me!

I say vulnerable as I mused How many more times will I do photo shoots in this career and lifetime? Can they photoshop some of the sun damage on my arms and legs? Oh yeah, just wear long sleeves even if it is 100 degrees in the sun (duh). Self-doubt is common, I know, whether young and lacking in confidence or aging and not wanting certain things to show up in the photos! I caught myself in every trap that I help women avoid – always aware of walking my talk.

The alarm on my iPhone softly beams me up at 5:00 a.m. with the hair dryer shaping my long tresses… while I carefully apply a natural look in the oval mirror as dawn creeps in the window behind my dressing table offering warm morning light. Oh, the taste of my Maui coffee while I watch my sweetheart purr softly under the light covers in the pink dawn. I feel like a leading lady on the set getting ready for the director and cameraman to arrive…. all eyes on me, Queen for a Day!

I dress and grab a few extra tops for the morning shoot, following the photographer in my car as his truck winds up through the Sierras on its way to a meadow in Hope Valley (how appropriate the name) where we will carry and schlep everything to a variety of yummy spots near rushing streams of fresh snow melt. He has multiple pieces of equipment hanging from his strong shoulders while I gracefully pack in my beauty bag filled with the accouterments of the feminine plus water and snacks.

The now-hot sun lights up my inner glow. The nascent green grasses blow softly in the high mountain air. By now I couldn’t care less how my hair looks or what I’m wearing… I just know I am in God’s country where the Goddess feeds my soul. Camera… where? Pose… how? I just want to cry it’s so beautiful, and after many blinks of tearing eyes, the morning progresses with click after click of the camera and the Goddess dancing together in the high mountain meadow.

It took me about 3 days to come down from that leading role! Remembering that my teaching and my healing work are the nuts and bolts of my career, I can now step up to embrace the many testimonials of me and my work… the very core of my assignment as the founder of Divine Feminine Awakening for women and couples who are drawn to deeper love and pleasure.

An aside: I made sure I was photographed without a smile, compassionately listening to his girlfriend tell me her childhood story of violation and abuse, as that is my true nature. I listen to you with the same heart full of caring because I know your story is your doorway to freedom.

See you soon… let’s talk,

Big Love, Caroline

Sweet Summertime Immersion Special
for Women and Couples

Take your relationship (or your divinely feminine self) to the next level – 3 days with me in a private immersion!

$500 off when you book by July 15th and schedule in 2017. Please fill out a Discovery Session Application and we will discuss investment and other details by phone or Skype.

 

“According to the tantric texts, women’s enlightenment is facilitated by the electric charge of her orgasmic nature. Through sexual sharing a woman activates a powerful sexual/spiritual energy, her Shakti, which then releases itself into her physical body and into her psyche, creating the atmosphere for her awakening and spiritual enlightenment.”

“Tantra recognizes spirituality as a kind of rearrangement of the same energy as sexuality, so when a woman increases her sexual power she adds, on an almost cellular level, to the strength of her spiritual aspect as well.”

From Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving

I am inspired to write to the men… to your man… perhaps to all men.

I need you, men, to know how many parts of you turn a woman on… way before she actually is entered by your Wand of Passion… your Wand of Light… your Wand of God… and for some… your great big beautiful Cock.

Of course, not all women are alike, but most women are alike in that we love anticipation. We love to feel our desire emanating from every cell of our being. But we seldom get that, because entry/thrusting/intercourse and climax are over so quickly. Unless, of course, you have all day Saturday, the kids are away, and you have enough energy to be sexually and creatively active for many hours. Did you know that the word climax means “Stairway to Heaven”? Too often we skip the steps in order to reach the top, but both lovers often do not reach the top due to extreme differences in arousal timing and preferences.

What turns me on is the seed planted in my brain that something special is about to happen. I will notice the scent of my man, a word or words that get my mind thinking about pleasure and intimacy, anticipating a “best ever” orgasmic experience that is leisurely and intensely focused on ME….. me me me me me me… until I can’t stand it and I need to focus on you you you you…. (and I will add here the same anticipation works when I know I am going to have a self-pleasuring date with myself).

The subtleties of touch, of kissing, of eyes locked together in passionate intimacy… the warmth of skin and the movements of bodies dancing in erotic rhythm. If every man and every woman reading this would write (or speak and record) his and her perfect sexual experience, how would that look or sound? How might we teach one another so that no one ever has to spend time in a relationship where he or she is unfulfilled? Many are at a loss for words when it comes to speaking and describing these sensual intimacies.

Would you please write a paragraph or two or three, in the privacy of your world? Send them to me without your names if you wish, and let’s see if we can create such a weaving of our innermost visions that they would manifest outwardly.

Thank you! I love you! I can’t wait to hear from you!

Big Love, Caroline

Taking it Even Deeper

Are you breathing as you read this? I’m not talking about automated, unconscious breathing that you don’t even think about… can you find your breath beyond the shallow in and out that keeps you alive? Do you grow impatient with yet another reminder to Breathe Deeply, slowly, and with a focus on filling your lungs, holding for a moment, and then exhaling in slow motion before you take your next breath? What does this have to do with the divine or the feminine or orgasmic sex or whatever you are into? Hmmmmm… I wonder!

It’s as though we must re-take kindergarten over and over again, but this time it’s adult kindergarten. Our stress levels and to-do lists are over the top, so who has time to remember this breathing stuff? The power of your conscious breath can slow your thinking and calm the wild beast of your mind in a very short time!

This is very complimentary to the Breathwork Amrita wrote about in the last blog and the power unleashed via the breath when guided intelligently and compassionately… as you will experience in our Costa Rica retreat.

We are not creatures who take well to the idea of clearing our thoughts or “not thinking” because it seems impossible to do. The mind chatters on no matter what technique you apply. Some call this “learning to meditate,” but as a great thinker once said to me, “Why would I want to quiet my mind when there are so many great ideas in there to think about?”

I was speechless! He actually had a point. Something as basic and simple as mastery over the mind or the breath leaves most humans weak in the knees. And yet I write this blog as a Great Reminder… as loss of Power relates to going unconscious in your daily breath… not your daily bread… your daily BREATH.

The Divine Feminine work of sexual healing and awakening is dependent on teaching clients and students to breathe deeply – letting go of big sounds on the exhale. Breathing modalities such as Holotropic Breathwork and Shamanic Breathwork® use the power contained within the breath to assist the breather in releasing and letting go. Doesn’t it make sense that bigger pleasure and bigger orgasms can be invited with deeper breathing, faster breathing, louder breathing, controlled breathing, guided breathing, and breathing that releases energy?

For a full return of your Power, darling, begin now to access your deeper breathing into the full capacity of your lungs. You can skip kindergarten and move onto the playground sooner! I really have to work hard with clients to get them to breathe more deeply… it’s just so ingrained to contract and keep our breath shallow.

Next is another nearly impossible request… that of making sounds. So, if you have a mind to practice your Daily Breath, do so as an orgasmic step toward more vitality and peace of mind; and I will mention that more pleasure will join more Power in everything you think and do. Share a nostril-to-nostril kiss of breath with your lover and see where that takes you………..

It may take you to Costa Rica come play with us in the Sacred Feminine Mystery School’s Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women November 4-11, where we will inhale the scent of the sacred as well as the tropical… where we will awaken nerve endings in all of our sacred spaces… in all of our openings into our bodies, so that we breathe through our genitals as well as through our nostrils!

Sound like fun? I promise! Join Caroline and Amrita in sharing what we do best and love most!

With a tickle as I breathe my love to you, Caroline

My View from the Top

Panama momentI have always loved the view from the top. As a child in Kansas, it meant the top of the big old apple tree in our backyard. In New York City during my 20’s, it meant the view from the top of the Empire State Building. In my 30’s, it was the view from the top of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado… in my 40’s and 50’s in Maui, the view of Forever as I gazed out to the never-ending Pacific Ocean of horizon and sky.

….and on and on until this became essential to my view of the world and of my life.

At the moment my view is from the top of Trump Ocean Tower in Panama City, Panama. Please don’t confuse this as my choice for our next President… the guy does build nice buildings, i.e. the one on Fifth Avenue in NYC and this 70-story hotel in the Republic of Panama overlooking Panama Bay and the Panama Canal. The 66th floor outdoor café is thrilling (especially when the lovely tropical rain falls)!

What does this have to do with the Divine Feminine and the Awakening of the Goddess… well, many things! I love to watch women… and I love to watch men watching women. It is a privilege and a study much like viewing fine art in the museums of the world. It teaches me so much about the masculine/feminine dance of awe-inspiring desire, sex appeal, and the longing to merge. I see the insatiable curiosity to touch, to reach for the scent of another, to capture a gaze… and yet there is the steady protection to withhold, to look down, to walk the other way.

Here, were I am one in a million with eyes as blue as the sky, I love to capture those gazes. They see me as a creature from another planet… a “gringo” from another land. I feel the energy to connect. I return that. And the spark is complete… I feel aroused by this ‘salsa’ energy. It’s alive as the Shakti of the Yoniverse, converging with the Universe at all times.

Panama_CityMy skin is soft as a ripe Mango. I feel reborn. It’s more than a vacation. This is a vacation with a purpose… to apply and acquire a Residency Visa from the Panamanian Government… to feel firsthand the air, the people, the sky, and the water… absorbing the elements of jungle and concrete as they meet in harmony with advancing economic sky-scraping technological reality. “Poof”… said the magic dragon. What is next?

I will be home in Nevada for another 11 months. I will move the Immersions for women and couples to a tropical hideaway once I find the perfect place for you to deepen into your own Mango skin! Stay tuned my dear ones… the magic dragon might find you next!

In the awesome spirit of adventure, Señora Caroleena

woman-mirror-natureI am witnessing women coming forward with unparalleled courage… to give birth to themselves.

At every age they are arriving at my doorstep, intent on claiming their feminine birthright… the ownership of their Shakti. I am honored to shepherd them toward their goal. Women are getting the message that their time is now. Honestly, I am humbled by their forthright intent to do whatever it takes in order to not miss out on what is theirs to claim.

Skyrocketing levels of empowerment, self-esteem, acceptance of who they truly are. And perhaps at this point I will include myself… in who we truly are! For with each experience of women’s courage, mine is reactivated, infused, and channeled toward the explosion of feminine power… feminine knowing…feminine grace.

I cannot truly claim to be their mentor, for a higher force than myself is sending them on the gorgeous path to the abundant temple where the great Goddess dwells. In our oneness with Her, we relax further into the feminine mystery where we float and ride the current rather than laboring to swim upstream.

My schedule is booked solid through mid-September, and I’m taking bookings for the Divinely Feminine Experience for women and The Deepening Process for couples for the fall and early winter now. What is this, exactly? Find out more here for women and here for couples.

Are you ready?


As I reflect back over the past three decades, I feel so much gratitude for the education and transformation I’ve had the privilege and opportunity to share with thousands of people. The value of spiritual sexual education in my own life has been profound… and I’ve witnessed a similar impact on so many others. To be where I am now — in my 70’s, settled in a happy relationship, immersed in my life’s work — is so amazing; living a life that leaves me feeling fulfilled, vibrant, and glowingly happy.

This inquiry has led me to wondering how I can leave a legacy of spiritual sexual education so that many more can enjoy it in the future. Since I’ve always been a live, in-person educator, I’ve had to explore new ways to create a Queen’s Legacy that can live on beyond me.

So, after more than a year of promoting other people’s wonderful summits and programs, I’ve decided to create my own online course! I’m passionate about helping single women over 50 see their beauty, feel their aliveness, and know themselves as empowered, captivating sexual beings.

Yes, my dears, it’s time. I’ll share more about the program as it develops… look for more information later this summer.

With great excitement, Caroline

sunset-142698_1280Some words suddenly become popular that have been dormant or seldom used in modern language. For reasons having to do with what is needed or lacking in the culture, a word to define that void rises to the surface and is re-birthed.  The word ‘immersion’ is now seen more frequently, perhaps because it suggests a state of being that we need more of.

 

This awareness led me to create my Private Three Day Immersions, also known as the The Deepening Process® (for couples) and the Divinely Feminine Experience (for women) … a private retreat for those who know it is time to dive in and bathe in the warm depths of more intimacy, passion, receiving and love.

 

To dip… to plunge… to submerge… these are synonyms for ‘immerse.’   When I consider what is lacking more and more as sustenance or nourishment in this fast computer age, I know the truth and necessity of offering an opportunity for people to deepen… to plunge… and to immerse themselves in the warm ocean of peace, quiet and rest. I am also aware that there are few if any people (or places) who are versed in giving touch, caretaking, listening and offering comfort to the sexual soul of another. Many issues are stored and unobserved in this deeply private and personal domain of human life.

 

I work with you for several hours a day, then leave you to your own quiet space to integrate and explore what you are discovering about yourself… your agendas or inner dialogue, your subconscious fantasies, or simply room to spread your own wings with nothing to do. In my private space I journey inward as well so that my time with you is uncluttered by my own work life. I take the opportunity to unplug along with you, therefore bringing you my clearest self.

 

We often need guidance to do this. We need to be witnessed and seen by someone skilled who can help us recognize what we cannot see or do alone. That’s why we go to yoga teachers, to meditation classes, to healers and teachers and therapists. We are not equipped to handle deep emotional issues alone. We need support and a safe space to dive under the surface and explore the depths of our emotional and sexual psyche. We also need to set aside time to play… and to learn more ways to play with our sexual energy… to enjoy our bodies while restoring them to greater health and vitality.

 

Sexual awakening and healing invites education and awareness for the receiver. Deep memory and emotions can emerge especially when there is connection to the delicate nature of the heart and its journey with love and sexuality. Seldom can the depth of these issues arise in one session. They can be activated, but until the receiver can trust the giver there will be layers of protection, fear and uncertainty.

 

I see the power of men coming with their partners to a Couple’s Immersion, open to learning the more subtle intricacies of female sexuality and emotion. It is uncharted territory for many wonderful men just as lusty passion is uncharted territory for many fantastic women. In an effort to heal the ‘battle of the sexes,’ Tantra is designed to weave our differences into One multi-faceted relationship of an exquisite nature.

 

Whether you are looking for techniques to bring more pleasure to a partner or simply need a renewal for your own, I look forward to welcoming you!

 

Please peruse the information pages to acquaint yourself with the possibilities:

 

The Divinely Feminine Experience for women

The Deepening Process® for couples

 

I can hardly wait to see you!

Warmest Love, Caroline 

By Caroline Muir

India TantraIncense fills the air in my home as I await the new clients coming in an hour. The curt and brief email indicated ‘my husband and me’ would like to see you. Arrangements were made and the time was set for Saturday morning.

I gazed at two faces I had never seen, but whose names I had become familiar with through emails and the phone calls that Shanti and I exchanged, discussing the details of their visit. She has been with her husband (the marriage arranged in India) for 22 years, and their two teen-age children asked curiously, “Where are you going, Mama?”

The faces gazing at me as I opened the front door were classic to the Indian culture… big almond eyes, beautiful smiles, small stature, well dressed, eager and open. I welcomed them into my office, where we sat on fuchsia silk cushions to discuss the upcoming session, bowing easily in Namaste, as is their custom (and mine also, by the way).

Shanti expressed in her lovely, accented voice that she has always ‘known’ about Tantra Yoga, but never felt she had found the right teacher … not in her native India, nor in the U.S. where they had lived for thirty years.

“I have combed the internet looking for Tantra teachers, but when I Googled and found Divine Feminine Awakening, Caroline, I knew immediately that my teacher would be you.” It always amazes me how women, especially, know from their feeling-place what or who is next. Her search was for an initiation into and with Divine Mother, and I was close enough to her vision that she chose me to bring this union to her.

Shanti has never been with anyone except for her family and her husband, a gentle, intelligent and lovely man. He stood close by her as I left the room for her to undress and put on one of my silk ceremonial robes.  When I returned she was under the sheets on my warm and cozy massage table. All I could see were huge deep eyes, full beautiful lips, and a head flowing with dark silky hair. Her eyes looked up at me in anticipation of this … her long-awaited Initiation into the sisterhood of the divine feminine.

I gazed long and easily with Shanti, my hands softly resting on her heart and belly through the covers that protected her privacy. I moved my upper hand to her brow center, and guided her into her breath, her chakra centers, the sounds of OM and AH, all familiar to her from the Indian culture. Her beloved stood respectfully apart, yet near.  Instinct told me to explain that I would now join her on the table and drape her legs over my lap so that my hands could contact her pubic mound and her heart. She trembled slightly, though her eyes told me she was ready to step through her fear and into the enlightened space of having arrived at her desired destination.

In the fullness of time and with her permission, I slowly entered her and rested my fingers softly onto her sacred spot. Almost immediately she went into process as her lovely face drew up into the pre-tears that would soon fall from her eyes. Many moments passed as she recalled, felt, and accessed what she had longed for her whole life. She wailed “my sisters in India all need this so badly … they are all subservient and afraid to stand tall in their power.”

“Blessings to you Shanti and to all of your sisters in India. The old ways are dying and the power of your passion is here to stay!” I exclaimed.  She nodded but could not speak, and through our gaze I felt the transmission to all women who have been kept small because their culture said “This is how it is!”

I gazed over at her beloved, and his teary eyes gazed back at me as he nodded his support for his wife. We later moved back to sit again on our silk cushions and joined hands. Silence is natural to those who meditate and we lowered our eyes for a long period of integration.

As we bowed in Namaste, Shanti asked if they could stop by on Sunday before driving home so that “…you would please bless our children, Caroline.” “Of course, Shanti, that would be my pleasure”… and it surely was.

Reflecting on the session in the altered state that followed, I realized that the magic of this experience was that a blue-eyed Kansas girl was the messenger of the essence of Tantra Yoga to these beautiful Indian people, a gift to so many of us from their culture.

Om Shanti… Shanti… Shanti…

I welcome your comments below … how do you feel after reading this true story?