I recently encountered The School of Remembering, a Mystery School. It was created by Drunvalo Melchizedek, a man who has spent a life rich in spiritual practice and mystical understanding. His teachings, workshops, and products are new to me, which is exactly why I wish to share them with you. We are, after all, a tribe devoted to higher consciousness.

I love learning about amazing new technologies that can blast open my energy field either for real or because it sounds like they can! Does that ever happen to you? With so much input from people and the internet, I am constantly amazed at how much I don’t know. I often feel like a big giant sea sponge, absorbing in order to plump myself into an orb of intelligence and balanced energy.

The voluptuous goddess I see for my Reflexology sessions turned me on to this body of work. I admit to a certain limitation in terms of molecular technology and my relationship to my own molecules… but I’m open. I want to understand the complex energy that makes up who I am – or at least who I think I am – beyond my obvious definition. Queen and Tantra Goddess only captures so much of me… in fact, only a crown’s worth!

Women, especially at this time in Herstory, are midwives of massive downloads of data. We don’t (well, I don’t) need double blind studies to make me a believer… I love to be Amazed!! I love Union… I love the experience of what I don’t fully understand. If this lovely and very believable man can up my vibration for every activity during the course of my day, I receive with an open heart.

Ok, this may sound woo woo to you. I kinda rock my head from side to side questioning “quantum infused products” myself – in this case, Flower of Sunlight oil – yet something inside of me says why not? The dictionary defines quantum as “the smallest amount of many forms of energy (such as light).” I am not an affiliate… I make nothing if you order it, but I wanted to give you a first-hand report. I will continue to research. I bet my orgasms are bigger than ever with such “enhancement”!

Cellular communication refers to the way in which our cells ‘talk’ to one another, thereby restoring vital energy and enhancing performance while helping to maintain proper energetic balance. I opened the package of my Flower of Sunlight oil, enthusiastically applying it to my wrists and under my nose. My review for today… my energy was off the charts! We shall see.

I sometimes wonder, in left-brain inquiry, if I am being duped… drawn into a mystical possibility that the wearing of a pendant or the use of an essential oil will transform my reality. My mid-western upbringing taught me to question everything before the ‘60’s taught me to primarily question authority. Yet faith and belief are also a strong component of my spirituality and spiritual path. If it feels right, I believe!

How do you know if something is worthy of your faith and belief?

In human and mystical domains, Caroline

Costa Rica

SFMS Logo clear

 

Join Caroline Muir and Amrita Grace

at Blue Spirit Costa Rica

November 4-11, 2017 for

The Sacred Feminine Mystery School™

A Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women

 


The Sacred Feminine is rising and calling us forth to our highest soul alignments all over the planet!
We are being divinely guided into full embodiment of the feminine in all our acts and deeds, and invited to release everything that does not serve a fully embodied, ecstatic, joyful human experience.

 

As women, one of the most important parts of this process is the reclaiming of our life-force energy; our passion, our pleasure, and our delight in our own bodies, whether we have a partner or not. Self-love and recognition of our own intrinsic beauty is our birthright!

 

What is standing in the way? From childhood wounding to teenage angst to adult dissatisfaction, all overshadowed by the cultural obsession with sex as a commodity/sex as a forbidden, dirty secret. It’s time to take our sexual power back and balance our own inner feminine and masculine. This is where changing the world happens… inside each of us.



When women gather in sacred circle, anything and everything is possible. When women learn how to hold space for each other’s sexual awakening and healing, big magic happens. This is the leading edge of personal growth and development – the final frontier. 

 

 

Join us for ceremony, dance, yoga, Shamanic Breathwork® and Caroline’s signature Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing Practice (AH) taught with love, compassion, graceful mastery and the very highest of integrity. 

 

“I am humbled by the power of this work. Being in community with this group of women was a balm for my spirit. I reconnected to an ancient part of myself that is wise and expansive. The rippling effects continue in my day to day life. I am excited to continue the journey!” -Gretchen

 

Please visit the Costa Rica page for more information,
tuition, and registration.

Join our next free monthly global video conference: Sacred Feminine Conversations, March 11th

 

Amrita and Caroline are expert guides with years of experience in creating safe, sacred space for women’s sexual awakening and healing. Caroline developed the Nurturing Practice of AH (feminine sexual awakening and healing) over the course of the last decade from her 30+ year background in Tantra Yoga. Amrita is a Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator, High Priestess, and a soon to be certified Shamanic Breathwork® Facilitator as well as Caroline’s lineage holder.

Together, these women are a force of nature with a deep commitment
to the embodiment of the Sacred Feminine. 

Couple’s Immersion

Couples Private 3-Day Immersion

(Including same-gender couples)

“Are you ready to expand your relationship to its highest potential …
beyond now and into tomorrow?”

Dearest Two becoming One…

Whether you’ve been together forever or just one day, come learn and play in the environment that will take your intimacy and sexuality to the next level of passionate connection. This is the eduction we never received: becoming Masters of the Art of Intimacy.

Connection is at the heart of everything! It’s time to reap the rewards you’ve been wanting for so long… 

♥  Gain fulfilling intimacy and longer-lasting pleasure…

♥  Develop more of a sexy, satisfying relationship…

♥  Assure a rock-solid bond of passion and love!

You deserve to live the love that you are, effortlessly and abundantly.

♥  I will guide you in cultivating a deliciously sensual relationship with each other’s bodies, beyond whatever is holding you back.

♥  I will guide you in creating intimate and heartfelt connections every day

♥  We will practice honest, heartfelt communication and listening skills

♥  We will find the blocks to fully opening your hearts to one another

Get ready to tap into your vitality and libido
and reclaim your powerful relationship aliveness!
What lies within you right now… is increased vitality, libido, and intimacy.

“Imagine a guided immersion into the Feminine Mystery,
something most women 
have forgotten their right to experience.”

For the cost of a mini-vacation, you will receive several hours per day of session time with me during your Immersion, with lots of free time to practice the Art of Love in the privacy of your own spacious love nest. I will provide a fully stocked kitchen and a comfort zone that includes a fireplace, a library of DVDs and books on the subjects of Tantra Yoga, extended orgasm, female ejaculation, and conscious loving sexual practices.

I co-authored Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving. My autobiography, Tantra Goddess, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening, was published by Monkfish Books in 2011. I taught seminars at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, as well as Beginner through Advanced Tantra Trainings for over twenty years across the U.S. and in Hawaii, Bali, and Mexico.

I share with authenticity and genuine love so that you can unfold as Lovers and Masters of the Tantric Arts, based in my feminine wisdom authority. Tantra is an ancient Hindu subject, but we are neither ancient nor Hindu. This information has been sculpted for the Western man and woman desiring to learn how to practice sexual love as an art form.

Your sessions with me include dialogue, questions, and teachings pertaining to your particular needs. Hands-on work helps to unlock the mysteries held within your bodies. Understanding and communicating your needs in ways that your partner can joyfully respond to will provide you with more pleasure and intimacy than you can even imagine. I do not engage sexually with my clients, but am trained to teach you how to ignite and arouse one another as well as becoming sexual healers for one another. This includes taking a deep look at all that might still be holding you back from greater love.

You can schedule your immersion during the week or over a long weekend, whatever is most convenient for you. The cancellation policy is gentle in case of unforeseen changes in your schedule. (see below)

“The soul has an absolute and unforgiving need for regular excursions into enchantment.”

Thomas Moore – bestselling author of Care of the Soul

What you’ll learn in The Deepening Process®

♥ Enough Tantric lovemaking skills to last a lifetime

♥ Embodiment of your Divine Relationship

♥ How to enhance and release longer, deeper, easier orgasms

♥ How to harness orgasmic energy for manifestation

♥ How to cultivate more pleasure and ecstasy using the power of sounds, touch, and imagery

To deepen your experience even more, I’ll provide

♥ Access to my private Yoga Studio

♥ A list of local restaurants, hot springs, and hiking

♥ Directions to my favorite eateries and places to enjoy Lake Tahoe

A limited number of private immersions will be available Spring and Summer. If you are interested, please apply for a Discovery Session with me to explore whether this is a good fit along with the cost and details.

Gentle and Simple Cancellation Policy: One half of your deposit is refundable if you cancel. All of your deposit can be applied to a future date within one year.

If you know this is exactly what you need to align your life with your vision, don’t hesitate! Apply for your Discovery Session today.

I will love to welcome you!

Big Love,
Caroline

About Your Hostess

Caroline co-authored the best-selling book, Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving and co-led the very popular Beginner/Intermediate and Advanced Tantra Trainings since 1989 across the U.S., Hawaii, Bali and Mexico. Caroline has taught both Divine Feminine for Women at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Ca. as well as Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, MA.

Caroline’s autobiography, Tantra Goddess, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening, was published by Monkfish Books in 2011 and it continues to draw women and couples interested in her private mentoring and coaching.

Caroline founded the Divine Feminine Institute in 2004, offering trainings in the Nurturing Practice of AH, a sexual healing and awakening approach that she believes is the missing piece in human sexuality. With renewed passion, Caroline devotes her time to the Divine Feminine Awakening as a global calling for the advancement of female sexual health and education.

Caroline teaches and inspires you to unfold as Lovers and Masters of intimacy as well the Art of Sexual Loving, influenced by her feminine wisdom understanding.  Tantra is an ancient Hindu subject, but we are neither ancient nor Hindu. This information has been sculpted for the Western woman and man desiring to learn how to practice sexual love as an art form.

On a Mission from Goddess

“When you do things from your soul,
you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” –Rumi

 

The moment in my life when my Mission revealed itself to me is a moment forever etched in my awareness. It was a stepping stone toward living a life with purpose, passion, and play, and it’s led me into my current dance with the divine feminine as She embodies Tantra. I call this my “Beloved Truth.”

If you haven’t found your Beloved Truth yet, you’ll know you’re there when you feel like a runner at top speed, feeling the endorphins will last forever. You’ll know it when you feel the “high” that comes with finally knowing what you were born to do.

It may take half a lifetime and it may change along the way, but every person on the planet has a Beloved Truth. A call to create or to serve, to inspire or to heal, to bring a great message or to simply receive what is offered.

It began for me when I married my beloved, because I married for a mission… one that I couldn’t name but was starved to obtain. At the core of this mission was love mixed with wanting to work for a bigger purpose that would help people have more fulfilling and happier lives, especially in relationship to their sexuality. And of course it had to begin by embracing the Beloved Truth in my own life.

What I know as “sex” has become an engagement far beyond orgasm, pleasure, release, or recreation.  I love the reference to Tantric sex as an art form for loving ourselves and another. I also love that the basic urge to merge is now enhanced by education, consciousness, and masterful meditations of awareness. I’m very proud to be a part of this movement.

Sexual loving and sexual organs are returning to their rightful places, on the altars of awareness in men and women across the globe. Though it would seem internet “porn” still rules in first place, as the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey reveals, I am confident that sexual consciousness is rising!

Have you discovered your Beloved Truth? Or do you still yearn for it? Please share in the comments below.

With love from the many-faceted soul of a pleasure professional, sexual healer, and goddess of love, Caroline

Dear Precious Woman…

If you are truly excited about

♥   more fulfilling relationships…

♥   your full orgasmic potential…

♥   more love in your life…

♥   releasing the past that no longer serves you…

You deserve to have your dreams fulfilled.

Give yourself a 3-day private retreat in a divinely feminine Temple-like space in which you can fully merge with your own true nature… without the daily interruptions of life.

Develop a deeper sensual relationship with your own body from the private work with me and from the books and DVDs available in the Goddess Studio.

I will personally stock your kitchen with your favorite needs so that you don’t have to go out if you don’t want to… or you can visit the gorgeousness of Lake Tahoe… or take long walks in beautiful Carson Valley… or simply stay in your lounge wear and use my yoga studio upstairs.

Infuse your relationships
with greater intimacy and more pleasure
…once you have found the source of your own desires!

What lies within you right now… is increased vitality, libido, and intimacy.

Reclaim your powerful feminine aliveness. Reconnect with your female essence.

“Imagine a guided immersion into the Feminine Mystery, something most women have forgotten their right to experience.”

“The soul has an absolute and unforgiving need for regular excursions into enchantment.”

Thomas Moore – bestselling author of Care of the Soul

Your Sessions with me include hands-on work to unlock the mysteries held within the hidden chambers of your birth center… giving you an opportunity to birth yourself into your birthright of wholeness and a much deeper understanding of your orgasmic potential.

You can schedule your immersion during the week or over a long weekend, whatever is most convenient for you. The cancellation policy is gentle in case of unforeseen changes in your schedule. (see below)

What you’ll learn in your Divinely Feminine Experience

   ♥ Enough Tantric lovemaking skills to last a lifetime

   ♥ Embodiment of your Divine Feminine Presence

   ♥ How to enhance and release longer, deeper, easier orgasms

   ♥ How to harness orgasmic energy for manifestation

   ♥ How to pleasure yourself into more ecstasy using the power of sounds and touch

To deepen your experience even more, I’ll provide…

♥ Access to my private Yoga Studio

♥ A list of local restaurants and David Walley’s Hot Springs

♥ Directions to my favorite eateries and places to enjoy locally and in the Lake Tahoe area.

Additionally, go home with these valuable tools for your home practice!

Everything below plus some sweet Surprises!

DVDSecrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy featuring Charles and Caroline Muir

Signed copies of my booksTantra Goddess, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening and Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving

Wand – Crystal Wand for home practice – awaken your Sacred Spot (G-Spot)

Lubricant – 8 oz bottle of personal Lubricant

Empty relationships and sexless marriages become a thing of the past when you take this vitally important time out –  just for you!

My session was an incredible breakthrough, an awakening, a revealing of myself in a very intimate and non threatening space. So safe and comfortable and I’m so grateful. The real gift for me was knowing that I always have the power to find myself, on a very physical level, I am always here. All the stuff EVERY woman should know!

Samantha (Russia) Age 33

Before my immersion experience with Caroline, I only understood the Divine Feminine in an intellectual way, the way one understands things through reading and discussing. After, I embraced the Divine Feminine in a holistic and energetic way that is far more authentic and meaningful.

MA

Caroline is the Holy Mother of Love. She is the Mother you wish you had had to teach you and guide you to connect with your own inner strength and respect around your sexuality and healthy well-being at every stage of your life. She helps you erase any past trauma you may be carrying and replace it with peace and confidence to move toward pleasure and satisfaction and faith.

MS, Spiritual Intuitive, Palm Desert, CA

Caroline Muir is a radiant example of ‘being alive with pleasure.’ I consider her an integral part of my journey of awakening into my ecstatic feminine.

Catherine Oxenberg, Malibu, CA

My work with Caroline has changed me forever… in such a profound, touching and multi-dimensional way. 3 years later, I feel the work with Caroline has reached a new plateau within myself… where I honour myself as a woman; where I see my relationships in a new light; where I feel full, alive, energetic and loved by myself and the world. Caroline’s work is what has touched me the most and stayed with me in the most vibrant way. If I were to choose one thing out of 100 in terms if personal growth, I would choose working with Caroline.

Gitta S. Mother, Movement Therapist, Lover of Life – Sydney, Australia (and SF)

I am so grateful to you, Caroline, because I have learned two very important things while working with you during our Immersion: How to receive! And also how to connect more deeply and authentically with my husband, who is very immersed in his own work and himself, to the point where I have separated myself from him. I love him dearly. I needed to see how to be more patient and kind with my beloved even though it is still challenging. I am a happier woman when I do not look to him for affirmation and/or approval. I know he loves me as deeply as he can. Thank you!

Sandra Deakin ~ Belgium, thehomeofjoy.com

I’ve been engaged with Tantra for 40 years. Caroline Muir is a tantric master of the highest order. The most remarkable of all my teachers on this path, she is the embodiment of Divine Feminine wisdom, grace, teaching, transmission, gentleness, safety and experience I have ever encountered. If you do nothing else in your life, you must come and be with her in her presence.

Sami ~ Samadhi Longo-Disse, M.Div., CSC, Ph.D. samadhiresearch.com

A limited number of private immersions will be available near South Lake Tahoe, Nevada, scheduled around my travel and teaching schedule…. if you are interested, please apply for a Discovery Session with me to explore whether this is a good fit along with the cost and details.Gentle and simple Cancellation Policy: One half of your deposit is refundable if you cancel. All of your deposit can be applied to a future date within one year.

If you know this is exactly what you need to align your life with your vision, don’t hesitate! Apply for a Discovery Session today.

I can’t wait to welcome you!

Big Love,
Caroline

About Your Hostess

Caroline co-authored the best-selling book, Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving and co-led the very popular Beginner/Intermediate and Advanced Tantra Trainings since 1989 across the U.S., Hawaii, Bali and Mexico. Caroline has taught both Divine Feminine for Women at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Ca. as well as Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, MA.

Caroline’s autobiography, Tantra Goddess, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening, was published by Monkfish Books in 2011 and it continues to draw women and couples interested in her private mentoring and coaching.

Caroline founded the Divine Feminine Institute in 2004, offering trainings in the Nurturing Practice of AH, a sexual healing and awakening approach that she believes is the missing piece in human sexuality. With renewed passion, Caroline devotes her time to the Divine Feminine Awakening as a global calling for the advancement of female sexual health and education.

Caroline teaches and inspires you to unfold as Lovers and Masters of intimacy as well the Art of Sexual Loving, influenced by her feminine wisdom understanding.  Tantra is an ancient Hindu subject, but we are neither ancient nor Hindu. This information has been sculpted for the Western woman and man desiring to learn how to practice sexual love as an art form.

How could I not respond to so many of you who commented on my last blog, What’s a Girl to do with The Movers? 

As a Pleasure Professional, a Tantra Goddess, and last but not least, the Queen, I accept the invitation to continue this marvelous erotic adventure, at least in my imagination! In this scenario, my actions have very little to do with my nice girl and much more with my wanton animal self, albeit with a good head on her shoulders.

So many of you you cheered me on wishing I had just “gone for it,” and my sweetheart and I chuckled at the possibility! After fourteen years with the same fantastic man, the ejaculatory relief of the moving guys in my temple of sacred love would not exactly have filled my cups. My pussy, yes, perhaps… but not my Yoni, my chalice of divine intervention with God. Oh, without a doubt, it would have been an adventure into lusty passion on a hot summer day alone in the house… but with my background, this erotic adventure would have gone something like this:

“Hey guys….” (hmmmm….. not quite….. what would that sound like if I was in my power?)

“Men, what Ma’am wants is what Ma’am gets. Steve, reach into that drawer for that tube of lube. How close and how slow can we go? Pass those lovely lips my way, men of steel. Breathe hot into my ear and neck ever so slowly over my luscious breasts. Steve, I want you first, then Quinn… then Mike…. S L O W E R darlings…. until we run out of time and you have to return another day.” Panting hard now, the scent of man and sweat ignites my animal self…

Shit… who has condoms? Not me… never need ‘em! Where’s that lube?

Guys in a hurry never think about a woman needing more WET than they can provide. Damn… lost in the chaos, that lube was too far away. “Hey guys, just keep your blue jeans on and hold me tight, as if you love me more than life itself and you never wanna let me go.”

Right! I am a Tantra Yoga teacher… I know things! I know the difference between my human animal and my divine feminine. I know that sharing about an afternoon’s adventure like that with my darling over wine and grilled swordfish and vegies would not make his day. I know that hot relief is like eating at In ’n Out…(pardon the pun) and is instant gratification (hey, you want fries with that?). And I want you to know that I am having more satisfaction writing about the possibilities than if I were writing about hot sex on a hot day.

Sometimes I lament my graduation into consciousness as it relates to my own sexuality. You can still have it any way you want… there are no rules, only your own truth in each and every moment. I love it all.

Sometimes I want my lover In ‘n Out, and sometimes I want a slow dance that lasts a lifetime. That is how I view the gift of playing with energy as it is called for in the moment.  It’s all Tantric! It’s all Divine! Tantra is, after all, the yoga of everything.

The recent teaching week at Esalen Institute for fifteen couples of all ages and stages held the same gratification as it always has. One of the couples called Charles and I the Sexual Bodhisattvas of Love. Now that is a testimonial I am proud to bear!

Now that I’m settled in my new home and The Movers are long gone, I’ve launched my private practice once again. Individual sessions via Skype or in person (in Genoa, NV) are available and I’m now offering a 3-Day Divinely Feminine Experience scheduled at your convenience!

In harmony with the Seasons,

Caroline

By Caroline Muir

India TantraIncense fills the air in my home as I await the new clients coming in an hour. The curt and brief email indicated ‘my husband and me’ would like to see you. Arrangements were made and the time was set for Saturday morning.

I gazed at two faces I had never seen, but whose names I had become familiar with through emails and the phone calls that Shanti and I exchanged, discussing the details of their visit. She has been with her husband (the marriage arranged in India) for 22 years, and their two teen-age children asked curiously, “Where are you going, Mama?”

The faces gazing at me as I opened the front door were classic to the Indian culture… big almond eyes, beautiful smiles, small stature, well dressed, eager and open. I welcomed them into my office, where we sat on fuchsia silk cushions to discuss the upcoming session, bowing easily in Namaste, as is their custom (and mine also, by the way).

Shanti expressed in her lovely, accented voice that she has always ‘known’ about Tantra Yoga, but never felt she had found the right teacher … not in her native India, nor in the U.S. where they had lived for thirty years.

“I have combed the internet looking for Tantra teachers, but when I Googled and found Divine Feminine Awakening, Caroline, I knew immediately that my teacher would be you.” It always amazes me how women, especially, know from their feeling-place what or who is next. Her search was for an initiation into and with Divine Mother, and I was close enough to her vision that she chose me to bring this union to her.

Shanti has never been with anyone except for her family and her husband, a gentle, intelligent and lovely man. He stood close by her as I left the room for her to undress and put on one of my silk ceremonial robes.  When I returned she was under the sheets on my warm and cozy massage table. All I could see were huge deep eyes, full beautiful lips, and a head flowing with dark silky hair. Her eyes looked up at me in anticipation of this … her long-awaited Initiation into the sisterhood of the divine feminine.

I gazed long and easily with Shanti, my hands softly resting on her heart and belly through the covers that protected her privacy. I moved my upper hand to her brow center, and guided her into her breath, her chakra centers, the sounds of OM and AH, all familiar to her from the Indian culture. Her beloved stood respectfully apart, yet near.  Instinct told me to explain that I would now join her on the table and drape her legs over my lap so that my hands could contact her pubic mound and her heart. She trembled slightly, though her eyes told me she was ready to step through her fear and into the enlightened space of having arrived at her desired destination.

In the fullness of time and with her permission, I slowly entered her and rested my fingers softly onto her sacred spot. Almost immediately she went into process as her lovely face drew up into the pre-tears that would soon fall from her eyes. Many moments passed as she recalled, felt, and accessed what she had longed for her whole life. She wailed “my sisters in India all need this so badly … they are all subservient and afraid to stand tall in their power.”

“Blessings to you Shanti and to all of your sisters in India. The old ways are dying and the power of your passion is here to stay!” I exclaimed.  She nodded but could not speak, and through our gaze I felt the transmission to all women who have been kept small because their culture said “This is how it is!”

I gazed over at her beloved, and his teary eyes gazed back at me as he nodded his support for his wife. We later moved back to sit again on our silk cushions and joined hands. Silence is natural to those who meditate and we lowered our eyes for a long period of integration.

As we bowed in Namaste, Shanti asked if they could stop by on Sunday before driving home so that “…you would please bless our children, Caroline.” “Of course, Shanti, that would be my pleasure”… and it surely was.

Reflecting on the session in the altered state that followed, I realized that the magic of this experience was that a blue-eyed Kansas girl was the messenger of the essence of Tantra Yoga to these beautiful Indian people, a gift to so many of us from their culture.

Om Shanti… Shanti… Shanti…

I welcome your comments below … how do you feel after reading this true story?

Woman in robe flipped

By Caroline Muir

There isn’t a female libido pill as yet on the market. Ever wondered why?

Female arousal is a complex affair, perhaps more complex than an actual ‘affair’! It is so complex that I can only refer you to the best information I have ever read to explain the intricacies involved in female arousal: Vagina, a book by Naomi Wolf. I am privileged to have had my classes with women written about in twelve pages of this masterpiece of research.

A couple that I am counseling touched my heart deeply as I felt into their pain resulting from the fact that she doesn’t want to “have” to have sex any longer with her husband, at least for now. Their sexual loving is not painful or aggressive. She loves him and he loves her. She just doesn’t want to! Josh sits before me in shock and grief as this is his primary way to feel union with his beloved Heather… or as he describes it he is “a thirsty man desiring water… hungry for intimacy with his wife.”

Upset older couple roundHe remembers the last time they made love. He admits they were just going through the motions… that it wasn’t a thoughtful joining as they had been learning from me; the principles of Tantra and the yoga of intimacy. She really does not know why this is her truth and how she feels at this time. 

The sadness I feel and see in them is reminiscent of a lost and lonely place. As a woman, I do not find her wrong or broken or in any way ‘a mess.’ She is a wise and compassionate therapist, successful in her world. She “just doesn’t want to”! Sex for Heather is no longer fulfilling.

Yet she grieves his sorrow. She gives him freedom to explore… to continue living ‘as a man’ with others. That of course leads to talks about separate living and the myriad of painful situations that include grown children, friendships and family, pets and the daily playing of music that they share. He grimaces at this gift of freedom… he only wants his wife. I know this parting of physical/sensual/sexual ways is common to long relationships and marriages. I reach into my fifty years of living in relationships for words of wisdom.

Older Couple playing chess crop roundI suggest dropping deeper into friendship with one another, something they both feel is uppermost in their marriage and relationship. I suggest “Let It Be” as John Lennon sang to us as we were all reaching for the light of understanding.

I suggest a “sabbatical” from their sexual marriage, while deepening their intimacy and friendship with one another and their families. I invited Heather to do a Ritual of Completion with me or with her women’s group, in an invitation to “lay to rest” her duty as a wife. It’s very possible that in dropping the inherited duty of a wife, she might very well find her sensual joy in the freedom to say no!

Josh now has the opportunity to choose Heather for the warm and wonderful companion whom he has grown to treasure over twenty years. There is a heavy “should” in how a marriage is supposed to look in the sexual arena, and women often struggle with these libido changes as they age. It appears that we need to claim our autonomy from the marriage identity, often without wanting to lose the marriage, while hoping to find a new level of desire based on loving friendship and freedom rather than the duties of marriage.

Couple with baggage clear

Marital Baggage can be quite heavy. In the pure union of lover and beloved, this conflict isn’t meant to be heavy. In an ideal world we would want to make love as a celebration of our love. Yet libido for both men and women alters from the natural flow of desire that we knew when we were younger. The best antidote for a lazy libido is to simply… play!

Easier said than done? “Seriousness is an adult disease” and Sex is serious business. How about this instead: Play with one another…  play with yourself… play with your children… learn from the kids and pets about ‘play’ and bring that Quality of Play to your lover. Let go of goals, orgasms and performance. They are the biggest blocks to play!

I would love to hear from you! Please comment and add both your serious and your playful thoughts.

By Irene

When you hear the word “Tantra of Intimacy,” what’s the first thing that comes into your mind? Sex, postures, or even Kama Sutra? There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about both words, especially in our Asian cultures. One need only google the words and figure it out yourself without daring to ask for more! Even if we do dare to ask, the next question is who are we going to ask? That’s what I did when my cousin in London mentioned Tantric Yoga to me. There is not much you can find about it online, not nearly enough be able to understand much about it.

CollageThen I came across an upcoming retreat in Bali that called “Tantra & Yoga of Intimacy: Sensual Awakening, Healing & Enlivening” with Blue and Caroline Muir, in November, 2013. I emailed Blue (Spirituality and Yoga of Intimacy Guru, a wonderful man whom I trust and admire so much) and asked about the retreat. He sent me information about what the retreat was about and what we will gain from it. He also gave me this: Intimacy Is love infused with connection, generosity, attentiveness, presence, trust, surrender and the courage to be seen and be vulnerable. Intimacy is a choice. Sensuality is an excitement or enlivening of the primary senses of the human body. When enlivened, sensuality becomes a flow of life inside and around you. Sensuality is natural.  

Ahhhhhhhhhh………….what a journey Bali has been for me, meeting Caroline and Blue and connecting with our wonderful group of people… so powerful and authentic! Words cannot express how grateful I am to have made this choice to embark upon this road. I am also very thankful to have met Caroline and Blue, and for them to have given me the chance to walk onto this road of unknown… to face my fear, to find my lost heart and love, and to learn from two wonderful, warm and gorgeous people the art of tantra and the world of intimacy in the most respectful, loving, nurturing and warmest ways.

Vulnerability and trust are the two most guarded things in ourselves that we don’t want to let go or let down. I constantly reminded myself throughout myIrene seven days there, “I’m here for a good reason… and I need to open to the learning, receiving and healing that will come my way.” I’m glad I did. It was totally amazing for me to have been in the presence of people who came with open hearts and trust. There was so much openness, vulnerability and love among every one of us there, that all of us still are very much affected from our retreat even after two weeks have passed.

Towards the end of my week which I was wishing lasted longer, I have learnt to develop a sexual connection with my partner that not only feeds his heart but also my heart, body and life with aliveness. The work helped me to unlock my full potential as a partner and lover; released the energies inside me that have blocked my full capacity of feeling beautiful; and I have learnt to love and also to receive love in a truly loving and intimate ways with full aliveness and openness. We learnt the art of giving to and receiving from our partner in a most nurturing, loving, warm and beautiful way where towards the end of each session, all of us felt all our chakras touched, opened and shining bigger than we normally experience. Like Caroline said, “We raised the bar on your life experiences. We expanded into the vast heart of love and intimacy that we call Tantra, and this is the power of creating sacred space, alignment with yoga and union with the divine.” Thanks to them, I am still walking around with a glow in my face and heart every day!

Thank you!

Bali motorcycle

By Caroline Muir

Bali ArtThree weeks in Bali taught me at least as much as I was delighted to teach our 14 students who traveled from such far-away locales as Australia, Hong Kong, Dubai, New Zealand and the U.S.

My co-facilitator Blue, fully present with the energy of the moment, often selects subjects or music rather than the satsang originally planned. Hindu chants echo across the rice paddies as we hold our satsangs in the open air of the top floor overlooking the sculpted green of life in the fields. Tantra really is the Yoga of Intimacy and Love. Our students received much more than they anticipated, all hoping to return next Sept/Oct for our next offerings, one of which will be the Art of Lovemaking.

Next fall we will hold two 1-week retreats near the Bali Sea, in Amed in East Bali. Fresh coconuts are delivered each day with a bamboo straw. Nothing is wasted… eco/organic has swept this little island where they grow everything they need… including the sweetest people in the world. “Why not be happy?” is the attitude that surrounds us and seeps into our cells like super-food.

I jokingly surmised that Bali is almost “too” spiritual, with every store named Ananda or Shakti Creations or Buddha Wear while stone and carved deities line the narrow streets where they are being made. Riding through these apparitions on the back of Blue’s Ninja motorcycle gave me a perspective that included aromas of temple incense, families bathing together in clear streams, dogs with leopard spots and Life that is lived willing to be seen.

As Kym Byatt of Perth, Australia, puts it… “The combination of both your and Blue’s energy, commitment, expertise and big, big hearts created a very profound healing space. Not to mention being held by Mother Bali, in the Land of Prayers who demanded her way in tender surrender. I had the most profound week of my life, and I have had an incredible life.”