Desire… passion… lust… ardor… love. These are compelling emotions. When they rise in me, like a wave upon the sea, I must hang onto something if I am to maintain any form of balance. This wave sweeps me into a cauldron of turbulence long before I land into anything formally familiar, such as peaceful serenity.
Quite honestly, desire is like a compulsive urge that takes over my otherwise clear focus. Gone is reason, sensibility, or the certainty that I know what my life actually looks like, for in the cauldron of desire I am rendered somewhat helpless.
And, I must admit, I love this visitation from Cupid’s arrows into the clear waters of contentment. I also fear this visitation, as I feel the rush of activated aliveness turning into intoxicated bliss. Suddenly every thought-form is now complex with the presence of an intensity to love – in this case – another.
Admitting to “I am in love” is akin to admitting I have gone crazy with desire. Now each breath contains the scent of the focus of this passion. His or Her skin is the only skin I ever want to feel again. His or Her scent is 100 Proof over-the-top sexual desire bubbling up from my genitals as it consumes everything in its wake within my formally familiar form. My legs shiver and my knees quake as my heart recognizes that I am in the grasp of this thing called Love. All songs throughout my life that contain a recognition of this sword of Truth begin playing in my mind. I simply cannot return to a time before this visitation occurred. I am speechless, helpless, and hopelessly adrift.
I hope and pray it is simply temporary insanity!
Love and compassion for myself is my Rx for living a Life that is truly rewarding. Happiness is a choice, often fostered by great friendships that spark a special aspect of my aliveness. Dare I say “yes”? Dare you say yes?
With Amrita taking on the Sacred Feminine Mystery School Trainings, I actually have more time for Love. As this is my true path, I am eternally grateful… grateful for the opportunity to feel the depth of the love that I am.
My only solution for how big Love is, especially when Love goes beyond the One, is to hold the reality of loving others as the great Puja of Life. In the moment… that looks like Love the One You’re With. In the next station of the Puja… Love the One You’re With… and on and on into the circle of Life.
Care to join me?
One hundred percent here with my Desire and my Love, Caroline