Ideal Relationship | Caroline MuirWhether you have a love relationship with another or just with yourself, I imagine it falls somewhere between “ideal” and “reality.” But what if there’s another option? What I am proposing is a socially distant ideal relationship… like the one that I am now experiencing during this global life change in what feels like my new “world order.”

Right after we entered into 2020 in January, a man inquired via my website about working with me. The contact form was screened by my Virtual Assistant, and when she forwarded the form to me, she mentioned that she knew of this man and urged me to consider working with him. Since I don’t normally work privately with men unless they are part of a couple, she knew I would likely not follow up with him without her encouragement, and her hunch was strong.

After responding in an email about what a private session or series of them might look like, he informed me that he would like to work on zoom only and we set up our first call. It was warm and cordial, each in our respective homes over a half a world apart.

He spoke openly about his recently orchestrated ending of a twenty-year marriage and the emotional challenges he was facing. Asking him how he found and chose me from all of the therapists or Tantra practitioners he could work with locally, he said I had touched his heart with the depth he felt in me during an interview I had done months earlier. It touched me as well that this was what motivated him to contact me… my deep heart!

We ended the call within an hour with me honestly saying that I would love to work with him in whatever way he felt most comfortable, and I admitted that I needed a connection of this kind also. It surprised me that I was that vulnerable with him and I know it surprised and delighted him as well, seeing as how neither of us yet knew what kind of connection we would be having. He was very open about his feelings of failure both emotionally and financially. I also admitted that I was facing some emotional challenges in my primary relationship of twenty years, and that financial realities were more precarious for me as well.

Off now to a good start of openness and honesty, I kept looking at how I would further working with him without access to my usual healing modalities that have always required intimate touch and contact. Within a week I sent him a text message, not realizing it was the middle of his night but morning for me. He instantly responded by text that he was tossing and turning in bed when my message landed and how happy he was to hear from me. Delighted and surprised at how he welcomed me, I believe that was the moment my heart began to open more fully. Could this person actually become a good friend, I wondered?

Be sure to stay tuned for Part 2, which picks up several months and several thousand texts later! I always welcome your comments, too!

Big love, Caroline

About Caroline Muir

Caroline is a published author of two books… Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving published by Mercury House and Tantra Goddess, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening … Monkfish Publishing. Caroline loves to write! Her success as a seminar leader and educator has been featured in Elle, Glamour, The Wall Street Journal, Yoga Journal and many other publications.

5 Responses to “How to Have an Ideal Socially Distant Relationship-Part 1”

  1. Anoek

    Dearest Caroline,,
    I am a Tantrika and am ver curious on how to work long distance with tantra
    Looking forward to Part 2~’anoek

  2. Zita

    Wow! This is a fantasy come true.
    In this isolated time it would be so wonderful to speak freely and gently and with love in one’s heart to someone of the opposite sex who was supportive and open back with how it is for them.

  3. Diane

    Dear Caroline,
    Your courage and open sharing is wonderful. I believe that with the honesty that you demonstrate you will give me and more women a chance to have more juices flowing. “Turn on” or shakti, will contribute to our personal relationships at home, our health and immunity, and in our creative lives. I love that we might consider having more and having it work for our true loving relationships at home.
    You go girl and keep us waiting for part 2.

  4. Sareya Joy

    This is juicy. Looking forward to the next chapter. 💖

  5. Judith

    My dear Caroline,

    You continue to astound me with your deep, open heart and your willingness to be so vulnerable, not only with him, but also here in this space. All love 💕

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