How You See Others Can Tell You a Great Deal About Yourself
Have you ever noticed how you compare yourself to others?
Say your good friend suddenly meets a man and he is crazy about her. The more they see of each other, the more your mind turns to thoughts such as…
She really isn’t that attractive.
She still carries that extra weight.
At least she could get a new hairstyle or do something more to enhance her looks.
And on and on you go, comparing and judging your friend by outside appearances, rather than showing sincere curiosity about what it is that makes her so attractive to a desirable man.
Do you find yourself resenting your friend’s new happiness, while you wish that it were you getting dressed for yet another date to go dancing or to dinner?
Are your buttons getting pushed as this reminds you of high school, when it seems all of the desirable boys wanted to date your tiny and petite friends?
Back then, it probably made you feel far larger than you actually were. And perhaps still today, even if you fit beautifully into a size 12, you question your desirability and attractiveness.
Your subconscious mind is still feeling the rejection of the teenager! It holds you back from projecting confidence and self-esteem. You will continue to attract friends who push those old buttons, often seeing them as causing your pain.
At your core you are certain that you can never be enough. Your core is a very deep place and you may wonder if it can even be accessed or if you are just stuck with this old stuff.
Much of my life read like the above. It wasn’t until my beloved friend and lover began working with me using several simple techniques I now teach, that I began to crack the hard crust over my core and allow love to flow in. Under that crust is an ocean of the warmest love… a love for myself that has given me the greatest gifts of my life.
We don’t all have the good fortune to meet a friend or lover who can undertake the role of cracking us wide open. It is not a role for the faint of heart. I cried uncontrollable burning tears for years in order to melt my resistance to being loved, because I was taught from childhood that it was better to give than to receive. It wasn’t until I could truly put myself first that I began to live a happy and turned-on life.
You don’t have to go through years of tears to access your own self-love!
I can help you
♥ recognize the life patterns that hold you back from loving yourself and how to catch yourself “in the act.”
♥ appreciate and reward yourself for the work you are doing to reclaim your birthright of ecstatic aliveness.
♥ see the hidden fears that keep you in pain in your relationships.
♥ transform the tricks your mind plays on you that bring you pain rather than pleasure.
♥ shift loneliness, pain, and despair into True Love
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Big Love, Caroline
Really good piece. I probably do all these things and more. I think you could help lots of us in this struggle.
Thank you Juicy! Goddess knows I am working at it diligently… as it’s such a common trap to put others first. My turned on Love is with you, xoxo Linie
Dear Caroline, I just love you! Every time your newsletter comes out I smile and joyfully read it. that’s not true for most things that come on the Internet as you well know people don’t often read what they get in the email. You have been my teacher my mentor a big part of who I am today and what I teach thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Lindy James
Like Lindy, I long for and welcome your next newsletter Caroline, always read whether it’s an area I need help with or not, appreciating you for all you are and what you teach. I feel closer to you for reading.
I have recently unsubscribed from so many newsletters … never yours..
Much gratitude 🙂
We were discussing that today in our Beyond Book Group as we “study” your memoir–we are using our judgments about YOU to see who we are and how we judge. Thanks for putting yourself up there consciously as a Divine Mirror. Might be my favorite class I’ve ever taught!
Dear Caroline, your letter arrived and I immediately had a though “no not me” when I read the subject line 😉 and then checked myself to read it from a place of authenticity and recognition that I am still dealing with unbearable amount of pain from women. Your piece is such a gentle tender reminder for me today to remember that I do have a tender heart and softness inside of me and can not allow myself to forget that.
Hi there that sounds interesting about the confidence and self esteem part.
Thank you so much for that and anything would be really appreciated
Thank you Caroline.