Boy, Was My Face Red!

Mask FaceAs I prepare to go “public” in a whole new way, promoting my new online program, I’ve struggled with my self-confidence. My face and skin wear the markings of a life lived outdoors… a lifetime of facing the sun, having never heard of sunscreen and hating hats until it was too late.

I decided to go to a cosmetic surgeon in mid January for a deep CO2 Laser procedure on my face to remove the damage of those sun-loving decades on Maui. The Doc assured me I would be “back on the street,” or back in the pool, in three weeks; however, it’s taken a bit longer than that.

Nightmarish misery kept me awake many nights under my CPAP mask prescribed for sleep apnea several years ago, trying to figure out who I could blame for this. The CPAP mask added to my discomfort and aggravated my healing skin. I had to keep going “in” until I forgave myself for creating the need for this procedure. Many skin cancers have been removed since living on Maui, and I lovingly (with one side of my smile askance) began to call myself “Scarface.”

And yet, skilled with applying make-up since I was twelve years old, I still managed to shine! It’s all in the eyes, they say… and, I also want my glow to be in my skin. These weeks indoors and out of the public eye have revealed how much computer work and writing I still need to finish before my online program launches in April. It also propelled me to clean out closets, refresh my bras and panties drawer with many drops of Lavender from Provence, and even visit Facebook and browse the Internet more than I normally do.

Oh, The Discoveries I Made! I’ve connected with Anaiya Sophia of southern France, and she is the pioneering sister who holds the privilege of teaching and embodying Divine Sexuality beyond Tantra. She is birthing New Paradigm Relationships and the Awakening of the Sacred Body through touch. Anaiya teaches the Feminine expression of Christ Consciousness from the tradition of Mary Magdalene. She is a mystic of great wisdom, and now my friend.

I plan to work with Anaiya and her beloved Pete next year. I met them both during a Skype call in mid-February. She is the first teacher I have been drawn to study and work with in quite some time. She invites me to look deeply at myself and what I bring to the table of loving and living.

Loving Life with you, Caroline

17 thoughts on “Boy, Was My Face Red!

  1. We have not met Caroline but I really value and honour your work. Anaiya is an amazing woman embodying this path Caroline she has totally walked her talk… <3 you will create magic together!… and meantime sending you love many rosy blessings for your continued healing

  2. Caroline, I am so glad you are embarking on all of this, and applaud you for stepping out further. I am beginning to take my work out into the world as well, and the self-confidence issue is definitely one I resonate with. I think it is huge for so many women.

    As for the facial work…ah, the blessing of healing. I always read your posts with interest, and I look forward to this next iteration of your work. I just completed CTE level 1 with Charles. It was delightful and I am well aware that this is just the tip of the iceberg, so I will watch with interest as you unveil more of this amazing work.
    Blessings, my dear.

  3. Ciao Caroline,
    lots of energy and kisses to your healing face. Take your time and relax and nuture the goddess you are. Have been following Anaya,s site and enjoyed reading her book and one day for sure will meet her in person…..how can it get better then meeting you one day all at once:))

    Sending you an ocean of blessings !!!

  4. Sending you all my love and joy on your expanded journey, my beloved Caroline! You continue to inspire all of us to keep learning, growing and blossoming by your courage to go beyond the beyond! I look forward to hearing more about everything unfolding for you!-Sami

  5. Well….It looks like we are on a similar journey. I’ve just completed 3 laser co2 treatments on this “sun loving face and neck”. My results are very good, not too much trauma.
    I’m also studying the mystical school of Mary Magaline/Christ Consciousness/Temple of Isis. I feel a very strong connection to this path and my next journey with you.
    You are always in my thoughts.q

  6. Hello dear Caroline! Your posts light up my world…as do you…and your gorgeousness! (Red face and all!) I am looking forward to hearing about your new work! I am sending you much love and light…and I remain, always, your GA! 🙂

  7. Oh lovely woman. I have watched you in a video or two and your beautiful presence shines…thank you for being so open about the lack of confidence…it makes you into a very safe female mentor and I am looking forward to what you are about to teach us.

  8. Dear Caroline, It pains me to read of the hard choice you made to have your skin treated with what feels to me as harshness. There are easier, healthier ways to clear up sun damaged, aging skin and to still look great. I began such a program last year and began seeing good results immediately. A friend with a long history of ski instruction and outdoor enjoyment saw the loss of skin tags and the transformation of her damaged skin which now looks radiant and beautiful, with relatively little cost and no loss of sleep. I guess we all pick our way.

    I hope your journey of healing is rewarding in many ways and that your online course is a huge success for all. With many blessings, Sister,

  9. Oh Caroline…I was very excited to read your latest post, always such a pleasure to hear from you, your post moved me with great sadness when I realized all you’ve been going through, lets hope you have turned a curve now and that you will only reap many more health and beauty benefits than previously expected. I am covering you with prayer and sending you much love today, even more than usual. Like they say everything happens for a reason maybe you endured this temporary set back so you could fine tune the next phase of your work even more so that in the long run it will yield all the more for you and everyone else that partakes in it with you. XOXO

  10. Thanks for sharing and for being who you are. Blessings on your journey into a new paradigm. We are all so blessed to be expanding our consciousness and embodying more awareness on many levels in many ways. Love you and all you do.
    Iolani Deva

  11. Beautiful Caroline, I have been following your work for over 5 years. Thank you for sharing this intimate story. You indeed hold Sacred Space for every Woman. Your penning validates the next path in my journey as a Priestess getting ready to write and teach a new program based on Sacred Sensuality and the Senscous beauty we have access to. Blessings as you heal in beauty and soul. Much love, Cindy

  12. Caroline, dear: I love your new blog and wish to receive all of the future ones. Life is good here in Genoa and so glad that you are my neighbor and great friend.

    From one of the Amigos, Sonnie

  13. Darlings, one and all. I AM HEALING!!! I feel like the phoenix rising from the ashes, reclaiming my radiance and confidence at last. It was a deep winter’s hibernation but I made the most out of my ‘cave’, feeling very much like a Mama Bear. You will be seeing my new videos soon! Thanks so much for your messages… all of which touch my heart.
    Big Love, Caroline

  14. You are my inspiration Caroline! I love Anaiya’s work. Enjoy the process. I look forward to your sharing on the journey with her. <3

    Lots of love & namaste!
    Milena

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