To Consort or Not to Consort – That is the Question

To “consort” as a verb or “consort” as a noun, means “to keep company with or to accompany another.” We have all read of the queen’s consort or the king’s consort. During my active Tantra life, I often experienced the consort as being a lover or constant companion of someone… in some cases, me! A consort does not have to consort in the erotic realms though sometimes they choose to do so. However, this changes everything! It adds a degree of absolute thrill that is fully charged to lead the lovers onward.

I have often had a consort of a Tantric nature as those of you who have read Tantra Goddess know a lot about. The lovers I described in my memoir were often referred to by my husband and beloved as “consorts of the Queen.” Charles gave me the title of “my Queen” way back in our earliest weeks of going beyond teacher/student, once we began consorting as Lovers. “The Queen” and “My Queen” stuck for so long that in the media I became known as the “Queen of Tantra.” It’s a lot to live up to, I assure you. A crown is heavy… it flattens down my hair… so who needs them anyway?

My her-story of consorting in the erotic realms has left a warm glow that, paradoxically, often renders me terrified of it happening again in my life. I always have my antennae tuned to the erotic in others, but rarely does someone hook me into their orbit. Partly, this is due to my private work and the level of integrity I demand of myself in order to work intimately with both women and men. As a sacred sexuality practitioner is trained in the transpersonal to hold an impeccable space for sexual healing, I learned from past mistakes how valuable a commitment this really is.

There were times in my very active Tantric years when I offered sexual healing and awakening to another only to find myself unable to hold to clear boundaries as I found myself in sexual communion with them. For me, sexual communion led to a version of “falling in love,” which confused the matter entirely. This led to a sexual and/or erotic affair, and once that happens, consciousness a sexual healer must hold is lost within the chaos of emotion.

Are you with me so far? What I am trying to say is that sexual energy, desire, and surrender are all fabulous and at the same time… very tricky. This is where becoming extremely familiar with one’s own arousal is invited during a session while the giver holds their arousal energy in check… no matter what. Being in a turned-on state is to feel your aliveness and move within that blessing with grace and integrity. As a healing practitioner, acting on the turned-on energy of the receiver can turn the “healing” into more wounding.

I was guilty of this in my learning years. I forgive myself, but not without a strong agreement to learn from my mistakes; especially when I saw how my lack of boundaries impacted a trusting soul. Passion is a powerful and often confusing delight. How we handle this mountain of power is what distinguishes us between beings of integrity and beings of lust. One is not bad or good, but each serves a different purpose.

In my work as a seasoned practitioner of the high art of sexual awakening and healing, I take my commitment to hold sacred, impeccable space very seriously. Long gone are the days where my boundaries waver, and I’m honored to hold a powerful, safe, and ethical space for anyone who is ready to heal their sexuality and claim their sexual awakening.

Are you ready to claim your sexual healing and awakening? Join us on Maui April 21-28 for The Sacred Feminine Mystery School’s Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women … a $500 off early-bird discount is available through December 31st.