“Despite all of our best efforts, Eros will not be silenced. Eros is still here whether it shows up in secret shameful desires or secret shameful eating… in rebellious acts of sexual delight or lonely acts of sexual desperation. The erotic is in our buildings and bridges, our high art and low porn. It is what the body wants and what we refuse to give it… It is the desire swept so far under the rug that we can’t even name it anymore, yet it is still here. The erotic is waiting, curious and hungry, growing impatient for our acceptance. Ready to leap out at unexpected and inopportune moments. The domestication of our primate souls cannot stamp it out, nor the threat of stoning nor shame nor even the threat of death. Even when Eros appears to have surrendered beneath a sea of calm, measured reason and propriety it is there… diverted into the car purchase, the affair, the internet shopping spree, the constant surfing and yearning to fill the empty spaces in our souls.”
— Anonymous
Dear One,
There is so much we know and so much we don’t know about love, desire, passion, lust, the sacred, twin flames, soul mates… and the list goes on. What we know is what we feel in the moments when Cupid’s arrow lands willingly in our heart or any other part of our complex terrain. There is no mistake when we feel the penetration of that which we often call LOVE!
It spins our minds into a swirl of possibilities… it gives us hope! It ignites the weary soul, the flaccid libido, the lifeless and repetitive days. For centuries poets have written of this mystery so we could turn to their words for support and understanding. See! I’m not the only one who has ever lost her balance over compelling desire!
I personally prefer living in a state of “in-love-ness” whether it be over a person or over me! Of all the choices I could make (worry, fear, concern, etc.) I continue to shape and mold this self-serving choice into something palatable, tasty, and life-affirming.
I reflect upon the sensational times in my life when the unmistakable lure of lusty love drove my attention towards that which made my skin itch with desire. At times it was in the form of a white sandy beach met by blue sea water into which I could immerse my body and soul. Other rushes of love came in the form of men or women, cats or dogs, babies or children, which compelled me to focus all of my longings and aliveness upon them… only to be met or ignored, never knowing if they would take a second look at my interest in them.
There is an unwavering hope that I will be met… met by a best friend, met by a lover, met by an invitation to experience life in a certain way that I didn’t even know I wanted or yearned for. The longing rises to the surface at unusual times, often at night when I can’t sleep… when the veil between the worlds is most thin and I know this other presence is waiting on the other side of the veil, a mere breath away. I know of soul mates and twin flames and at times have been certain I was looking into the eyes of that other soul at the same moment as they looked into mine.
But was it true love, the kind that changes the landscape of a Life well lived yet that has been vacant in this particular area of fulfillment? I wish I knew…. I wish I knew….
Do you? Please share!
Xoxo Carolina