Rarely have I ever seen this particular topic covered with such elegance as in the Tedx talk delivered by Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage-Boosting Your Marriage Libido. She does a great job of revealing the pitfalls of a relationship where one partner desperately wants sex and the other is apathetic or unwilling.
One of my favorite parts in her talk is when she speaks about her real-life client stories. In particular, she talks about one spouse who reluctantly agrees to have sex, then remembers how enjoyable it is. Sadly, the spouse usually forgets again and the cycle continues.
Ms. Weiner-Davis talks about how a long-term sex-starved marriage often leads to divorce. She believes that there are ways to heal such situations, and gives 3 lessons:
1. You need to know your own way of connecting, but even more importantly, you need to become an expert in how your partner wants to connect.
2. If you are with someone who is yearning for more closeness, don’t delude yourself into thinking that sex is just “scratching an itch” and not that important. It’s a powerful way of connecting and bonding with someone you love.
3. When you understand your partner’s way of connecting, whether you agree with it or not, just do it. Healthy relationships are based on mutual caretaking and acts of love.
She concludes by saying that we have to take better care of each other to make the world a more loving place, one marriage, one relationship at a time.
I would love to get your input on this.
Big Love, Caroline