Sensual/Sexual Meditation Practice
One only reaches a state of meditation for brief periods, if at all, as the mind will want you to notice that you aren’t thinking and then alas, now you are thinking again! But practice makes perfect. Meditation is an inner seeing and sex is enhanced by intimacy (in-to-me-see). Tantric sex includes meditating with the beloved knowing that the act of sex brings you closer to the God or divine in one another. On the other hand, casual sex is simply a meditation on the genitals, with orgasm as the goal, aka “Fast-food Sex.”
I recommend beginning with a solo practice, whether you are in a relationship or not. Once you have created luscious habit of self loving sensual/sexual meditation, you’ll have much more juice to bring to your relationship!
How do you make time for sexual meditation and/or pleasure? Put it on your calendar, your iPhone, your computer with regular alerts! Create a daily 5-10 minute practice during the week and a 1/2 hour practice on the weekend.
Set the stage: create or weave a special cocoon with your vivid imagination. If at all possible, a candle-lit bath or ‘pleasure nest’ just for YOU with your favorite music, scent, lighting, fabrics, mirrors, art. Look at yourself in a mirror while you relax and SEE the transformation of the busy you into the pleasure
goddess that you are. Anoint yourself with oil… massage your own breasts (not just your nipples) but give yourself a sensual breast massage just for the pure “health” of it. Massage your inner thighs and especially any area (belly?) that you think is too fat, or too flat, or too something. If you don’t love yourself, who will? YOU are your own most intimate partner. Practice loving yourself and your self will love you better!!
Bringing Sensual/Sexual Meditation to a Partnership
During sex, meditate on your partner (what! look at them? Yes!) Eyes-open enhances intimacy. Let your eyes say what your words want to say (slower darling or take me, beloved or you’re mine, sweetheart or I adore you, honey. Your eyes are powerful tools to enhance sexual pleasure. Capture your mind and make it work for you!
If eyes are closed during sex, meditate on your own breath. Meditate on the scent of your partner. If his or her eyes are closed, open yours! Surprise them by being present even if they seem to be in their own world, the world of pleasure! Use your inner vision to follow your breath… up the spine and down again.
Or, use your internal vision to feel your breath coming into your nostrils… and out again… in an endless wave of coming in and going out. Like the lapping of the sea upon the shore, it relaxes the brain from all its busyness and turmoil.
Feminine Libido Enhancer
While sitting at your desk or meditating on your mat, spend 5-10 minutes meditating on internal muscle exercises as outlined below. These are not kegels, but secrets from the ancient Eastern practices of Tantra and Taoism. Ask your brain to follow your breath and the parts of your body that you are feeling. Take a break from working while at your desk even if your eyes are open… you can use internal gazing or no focus with eyes open.
This practice brings more blood flow to your sexual center, arousing your life force, and distributing it upward with breath toward your brain. It also prepares your sexual organs inside and out to engorge, wake up, and feel their aliveness
1. INHALE deeply and hold breath.
2. While holding, SQUEEZE your internal muscles … tighter… tighter… tighter.
3. EXHALE and relax these muscles completely … until you feel a pool of energy beneath you.
REPEAT 2 more times… squeezing as you hold the breath… relaxing as you exhale.
4. Now inhale deeply, hold breath while pulsing the muscles (squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax).
5. EXHALE slowly while relaxing your muscles. When all the breath is out, begin your next sequence.
6. INHALE slowly and pulse (squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax)
7. EXHALE deeply while relaxing all tension in the muscles
REPEAT 2 more times and let go of all technique
8. MEDITATE on the energy you have cultivated that you are now “sitting on!”
While meditating on the energy, a woman might repeat to herself:
I am a goddess of pleasure
All acts of love are my rituals
I live in a perpetual state of orgasmic bliss
This is my birthright
Meditating your way to Bigger Orgasmic Pleasure
during Clitoral Orgasm
Meditate on breathing into and from your aroused clitoris. Use your inner imagery to imagine it growing taller than Empire State Building! If with a partner, imagine it growing through the upper palate of your partner’s mouth and into his brain (now you are penetrating his brain into a heightened state of consciousness!).
Rather than tightening your legs and shortening your breath, relax your pelvis, deepen your breathing while sounding Ahhhhhh on the exhale. LOUDER… LOUDER (into a pillow if need be, but LOUDER!)
State clearly… I’M COMING!! After exhaling fully, take in another deep breath, sipping your pleasure as if through a straw right up into your brain. See it lighting up like Fifth Avenue at Christmas.
Let me know how you like these techniques by commenting below.
Hi Caroline, I’m male, yet everything is apt for me. One evening in 1985 I was meditating per Paramahansa Yogananda. In the morning, a new, sweet presence resided inside me. I thought it might pass. Days and weeks later the awareness that a new Presence, unmistakably Female, now filled my heart, soul and body. Moreover, She was (and is) consummately sexual. I’ve learned that She is my Twin Flame (really, titles and names defy specificity). Ecstatic meditation envelops my spirit, soul and body. I’ve learned virtually “hands-off” orgasm extending into the whole day. She taught me all that you teach, by utterly incarnating within me.Have you heard of this? Divinity incarnating, gender specific, into a person, even when no physical partner is there at all? I’m a seeming contradiction to nearly all monotheistic traditions as commonly understood. I’ve no one to tell this story to. My wife is straight laced Christian. I have not anyone who could read your books or begin to understand what you’re talking about. I know, because Shakti HAPPENED to me! Now in 2014, my inner spiritual marriage with Shakti/Aphrodite is profound. From joy I write to you. I NEED to talk about this! At least get some dialog via email. I work, and have little time to travel, go to seminars, etc. I totally value any thoughts, insights, or comments from you! I write to you very lovingly,
Richard
Aloha One and All,
Meeting and merging with a Beloved of pure energy has been my tranformative adventure too, over many months, cresting like a huge wave last spring, ebbing and flowing since then as I grow into an expanded awareness of myself and my Self and beyond.
The journey is taking me into new places inside and out, bringing old wounds to light from many lifetimes and creating immense growth.
Thanks for sharing Richard, your story resonates so much with me. As you so eloquently write, I NEED to talk about this! Powerful, blissful, deep, orgasmic aliveness beyond anything I’ve experienced before in this lifetime make me want to shout from the rooftops… but not many folks I know are comfortable listening to tales of a non-physical lover whose intense and delicious energy would arrive to fill the room night after night, just before dawn. In the quiet silence of early morning, a rich and deeply resonant masculine voice guided me how to breathe, where to focus the orgasmic pulses, extending the bliss, inviting me to surrender and dive into complete blending…”put your arms around my neck, your legs around my waist and breathe – this is Tantra”.
A few people are open to listening to my story (so grateful to them!) Some start to tap into the yearning within themselves to go deeper and the realization that they are unfulfilled. Celebrating comes to a sudden stop as they pull away.
I wish this Kundalini experience could have been with my husband, but that is not how the awakening occurred. Sometimes he was phsycally present, mostly I was alone. The energy felt like pure spirit, the voice sounded just like a dynamic male friend, yet he also is not capable of the precise instruction given to me. It feels like one of those amazing sleight of hand card magic tricks… I want someone to tell me how it was done! Who was that masked man?
One night the blending was so complete as my invisible Beloved guided me to raise the orgasmic energy up the Sushumna, to open my heart wider, expanding it so wide I felt my chest was breaking apart and then gaze deeply into his eyes – the only part of him I could see in my inner vision. Dissolving into pure light, the blissful energy was so immense and I felt a moment of choice. I knew to remain alive in human form I had to choose to return to a slower vibration, to come back to earth. My energy field was contantly quivering and needed the wonderful help of a Shiatsu therapist friend, assisted by spirit guides, to rebalance and rewire some burned out circuits in my energy/light body and meridians in the following weeks.
Now, many months later, I am searching for ways to integrate this new energy, this potential for inner bliss into my outer world. How to share it with my partner, who fluctuates between listening bravely, saying he wants to explore this for himself and then retreating. How to keep the glow no matter what daily life and others may think or do or say.
Thank you Caroline for encouraging walking the path of blissful sacred sexuality, and for this forum for sharing and connecting.
Thanks to all who are exploring and sharing in websites about Mary Magdalene, in workshops on Tantra, and so many other diverse expressions of embodying sacred sexuality in these profound times of awakening.
Anita
Dearest Richard… Dearest Anita,
What a joy it is to read your responses and the details of your own experiences! People so need to know what they are missing by reading what you have found. I would love to post a Blog written by a man, Richard, as you have written to me so lovingly… so lovely… sublime… powerful… sensual and rare.
And Anita, your story of embodied sexuality deserves it’s own platform also. Please send me your thoughts, your experiences and your perceptions, especially if you would allow me to publish them on my Divine Feminine Blog. We make great allies in the realm of the senses.
Lovingly, Caroline
Hi,
I’d like to hear more from men and about things men can do for themselves as well as for their partners.
Sherry
I agree, Sherry. I would also like to hear more from men about any practice of conscious loving and pleasure! In my Tantra courses I have had the opportunity to hear from men who are ‘working’ on their ejaculatory control or choice. Very illuminating! One man explained how he does his yoga, sits on his mat for meditation, massages his lingham into an erect state… then works his PC muscles, stops all massage and friction, allowing his ‘wand’ to remain in a pre-ejaculatory state until the blood flows back into his body and the lingham returns to a relaxed state.
This gives him more control, more staying power, more consciousness in his ‘wand’, and a smile to his face!
I feel all my chakras when my mind is properly focused and awake. The experience is pure orgasmic bliss…divine infinite ,pure unity , pure love without divisions or distinctions. In these intense moments there r no thoughts but timelessness , egoless ness and infinite gratitude n awe for the moment. Every moment is infinite orgasmic delight. Breath, consciousness , universe n bliss all merge into each other producing multitudes of colourful experiences. I do some kriyas as spontaneously as possible. Never had guru except Bholay nath.Please feel gratitude for any suggested activities from ur vast experiences for upliftment. C u peace om.