Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way

Where there’s a will, there’s a way! my Mama always told me. My partnership with Will is my longest relationship after four marriages and four divorces. I am not proud of that, but there was a lot I didn’t know as a younger woman. LOL… and LOT (Lots of Tears)!

I struggle to describe him. I also feel the need to write about him, in the greater context of my life, to you. For he is the reason I am not single. He is also the reason I have the freedom to have a lover who is a woman. And I want this portrayal as a follow up to my last Blog on Love, Desire, and Eros. Will is a good man, a kind man who will do anything for me. Yet he never loses his core connection to himself. I really like that.

Will and I are nearly the same age (75), though eight months apart. For a “mature” man, he has complete access to his ”little boy” … a charming little fellow … very playful … loves to dance, sing, and look into his computer screen for the better part of the day and the better part of all that is fascinating, outside the box of tradition, for things pertaining to our future.  He loves films, music, adventure, history, art, architecture, books, Artificial Intelligence (AI), science, life extension, the Singularity … and me.

He sleeps like a baby straight through the night. He is vital, healthy, and takes no prescription drugs. I am very proud to say that about him. He is a biomedical researcher, having helped his company bring to the market items like DHEA, Vinpocetine, NAD+ precursor nicotinamide, 5-HTP, Mastic Gum, Galantamine, and other products you might find on your vitamin shelf. He loves “brilliance” in all areas such as creativity, wine, and Life!

Into my life, he has brought a greater appreciation for all of the above. He’s brought kindness in the face of my anger, and the reality that “I’m sorry” is never needed … a rare being, indeed. Okay, I admit to not always being easy to deal with …

Upon meeting him on Maui in my kitchen in March of 2001, his first statement to me was, “I have always wanted to learn more about Love”! Let me tell you, I was stunned to hear that as well as compelled by his piercing blue eyes. “Then let’s have dinner,” I said, smiling. I had not dated in thirty-nine years. I was still married to Charles though living apart, afraid to end the marriage to my Beloved yet knowing it was most likely inevitable. That’s another story, and my Memoir, Tantra Goddess, tells that story. Will and Charles have a genuine love and respect for one another, which warms my heart to no end. They each appreciate how the other brings a special presence to me and how both have occupied long stretches of my life story.

After selling my Maui home in 2007, I permanently moved to Marin County, California and into a Frank Lloyd Wright-designed home with Will. Five years later we migrated to Lake Tahoe and then the Carson Valley in Nevada. After the sale of his business [a whole other story], he asked me, “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose?”

A million-dollar question indeed … so I pondered and pondered while imagining the globe and where my choice might land and answered, “Someplace tropical … with an ocean I can swim in”.  A few hours later he calmly responded, “Panama”.  “Panama what and why?” I asked.

Where is Panama? I wasn’t exactly sure, but I instantly went to Google to find out! Perfect! Not one ocean, but two oceans to swim in!  “Okay,” I said, “who do you know who might lead us to someone who can help us make this move happen?” We were recommended by one of Will’s libertarian friends to Rainelda Mata-Kelly, the top name in legal Immigration services in Panama City, and 3 years later… here we are! Permanent residents with alien-looking photos on our ID cards to prove it!

We are not married, though we now have a contract called “Domestic Partnership” … a legal agreement in 50 states. It gives us the right to make medical decisions about one another if we ever have to. Neither of us believes in the institution of marriage, nor do we want to be married. That’s a 3-way “agreement” with the “State” as party # 3. Phooey on that!

Trusting in my heart and my gut is what got me here. In many ways, we are as different as night from day. Yet we live together in the harmony and domesticity that really works during this Next Season of My Life… 

            “When I was one I had just begun

            When I was two I was nearly new

            When I was three I was hardly me

            When I was four I was not much more

            When I was five I was just alive

            But now I am six; I am clever as clever;

 So I think I will be six now forever and ever…

            From:  Winnie The Pooh and Me

Your ever-lovin’ Carolina