Six months of planning! Growing out my hair, longer than it’s been in 25 years. Finding a local photographer for a photo shoot so I would have new pictures to show you on Facebook and on my website. Choosing the perfect days… the perfect weather… for perfect outdoor pictures…. The perfect yet vulnerable divinely feminine me!

I say vulnerable as I mused How many more times will I do photo shoots in this career and lifetime? Can they photoshop some of the sun damage on my arms and legs? Oh yeah, just wear long sleeves even if it is 100 degrees in the sun (duh). Self-doubt is common, I know, whether young and lacking in confidence or aging and not wanting certain things to show up in the photos! I caught myself in every trap that I help women avoid – always aware of walking my talk.

The alarm on my iPhone softly beams me up at 5:00 a.m. with the hair dryer shaping my long tresses… while I carefully apply a natural look in the oval mirror as dawn creeps in the window behind my dressing table offering warm morning light. Oh, the taste of my Maui coffee while I watch my sweetheart purr softly under the light covers in the pink dawn. I feel like a leading lady on the set getting ready for the director and cameraman to arrive…. all eyes on me, Queen for a Day!

I dress and grab a few extra tops for the morning shoot, following the photographer in my car as his truck winds up through the Sierras on its way to a meadow in Hope Valley (how appropriate the name) where we will carry and schlep everything to a variety of yummy spots near rushing streams of fresh snow melt. He has multiple pieces of equipment hanging from his strong shoulders while I gracefully pack in my beauty bag filled with the accouterments of the feminine plus water and snacks.

The now-hot sun lights up my inner glow. The nascent green grasses blow softly in the high mountain air. By now I couldn’t care less how my hair looks or what I’m wearing… I just know I am in God’s country where the Goddess feeds my soul. Camera… where? Pose… how? I just want to cry it’s so beautiful, and after many blinks of tearing eyes, the morning progresses with click after click of the camera and the Goddess dancing together in the high mountain meadow.

It took me about 3 days to come down from that leading role! Remembering that my teaching and my healing work are the nuts and bolts of my career, I can now step up to embrace the many testimonials of me and my work… the very core of my assignment as the founder of Divine Feminine Awakening for women and couples who are drawn to deeper love and pleasure.

An aside: I made sure I was photographed without a smile, compassionately listening to his girlfriend tell me her childhood story of violation and abuse, as that is my true nature. I listen to you with the same heart full of caring because I know your story is your doorway to freedom.

See you soon… let’s talk,

Big Love, Caroline

Sweet Summertime Immersion Special
for Women and Couples

Take your relationship (or your divinely feminine self) to the next level – 3 days with me in a private immersion!

$500 off when you book by July 15th and schedule in 2017. Please fill out a Discovery Session Application and we will discuss investment and other details by phone or Skype.

 

I had the honor of spending 90 minutes recently being interviewed by Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Conscious Uncoupling, for one of her private classes. It sparked powerful memories and fifty-odd years of relationship, love, separation. and divorce.

While many are doing the sacred work of “uncoupling,” I have lived that sacred work with Charles successfully since 1997. Best Beloved Friends is a worthy choice during and after ending what we believed was a “forever” marriage.

Now I share with you the picture that was taken of my first kiss with Will, fifteen years ago at Maui airport saying good-bye and Aloha to the only man who claimed my attention after my separation and ultimate divorce with the Beloved Charles, four years prior.

I pasted this little saying to the photo many moons ago and it’s still there, proudly the centerpiece of one of many altars in our home.

In speaking with Katherine I authentically praised her very successful and best-selling book, Calling In The One. I ponder about “the One,” having felt each time that I was marrying the One. Each moment with the One is each moment with whomever I am with, if that makes any sense to you. That, to me, is full Connection or showing up in full presence with each invitation to become “one.”

In my wisdom years, I now acknowledge there are more “the Ones” than we can ever imagine. Yet aching and yearning for the One is a function inside each of us that drives our psyche and our sexuality forward. In my thirty years of guiding and participating in Tantric Pujas (a moving mandala of loving presence with each person), I developed the skill of bringing one hundred percent of me into presence with a new individual each moment and in every breath. The tall, the short, or the not so attractive are each The One for those few precious moments in time.

This practice has taught me how huge love really is! And as the little sign in the picture says, staying in love is where real love resides. Living the love that I am is not always easy. I get irritable… I get impatient… I move at a different speed of light than my dearest One… I am annoyed when hard of hearing seems to be his choice, rather than his problem.

But real love, not pretend love, is the outcome of this awareness. This is the staying in love, deepening into love, and growing into the love that happens when a couple ages together over the long term of relationship. I would love to hear about YOUR experience of the work and the commitment it takes to continue deepening into the warm river of unconditional love …

To The One, Caroline

Becoming Ageless

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(Republished from December 2015)

Agelessness

Love and sex go together like birds of a feather… but when it comes to mid-life, us ageless women may have a bit of healing and awakening to do in order to reclaim the fullness of our passion.

Libido

For me, it seems that what I used to know as libido is no longer localized to the libido-center, but has seeped into all of me. Beware of falling into the belief that passion is only for the young, or younger! Passion lives in our whole being, as witnessed by the authors, artists, and spirited women who are living fully in their boundless creativity.

Sexual Energy

 Sexual energy is at the very core of our existence. It doesn’t die or lay fallow or even rise of its own accord… it must be cultivated by each one of us as a resource of creative energy gifted to us by God/ess Herself. Why else would so many post-menopausal women continue to birth projects, paintings, and proactive expressions of passion after their child-bearing years are past? Mid-life is just the beginning… the beginning of every woman’s fulfillment in ways she cannot imagine until that epiphany moment when she enters her next incarnation as a truly Spirited force.

Health Benefits

Life extension doctors and Ph.D.’s are in recognition and agreement about the health benefits of our sexual life force as a resource for longevity and vitality. Let’s not forget the sense of well-being inherent in knowing we are still able and capable of orgasmic pleasure long after libido wanes. I was privileged to participate on a panel once at the Science and Non-Duality Conference. It was there that I gleaned how ready neuroscience is to embrace sexual energy as a tonic for brain receptors and the release of nitric oxide in understanding what it is that makes us feel good. Nitric Oxide is the substance or molecule released by lightening during a thunderstorm and was the Molecule of the Year in 1992 (in case you were wondering!).

Life Force

So how do science and passion collide? Very little research is done on Female Sexual Response. We cannot overlook the gift of our sexual life force and how it can be brought to bear on many aspects of our daily life. The Practice of AH, the core teaching of Divine Feminine Awakening, is the single most valuable practice people can learn to incorporate into their intimate experiences. Loving, intentional touch and massage awakens the flow of molecules that keep our life force flowing well into mid-life and beyond.

How do you keep yourself ageless? Please share in the comments below.

Big Love, Caroline

“According to the tantric texts, women’s enlightenment is facilitated by the electric charge of her orgasmic nature. Through sexual sharing a woman activates a powerful sexual/spiritual energy, her Shakti, which then releases itself into her physical body and into her psyche, creating the atmosphere for her awakening and spiritual enlightenment.”

“Tantra recognizes spirituality as a kind of rearrangement of the same energy as sexuality, so when a woman increases her sexual power she adds, on an almost cellular level, to the strength of her spiritual aspect as well.”

From Tantra, The Art of Conscious Loving

I am inspired to write to the men… to your man… perhaps to all men.

I need you, men, to know how many parts of you turn a woman on… way before she actually is entered by your Wand of Passion… your Wand of Light… your Wand of God… and for some… your great big beautiful Cock.

Of course, not all women are alike, but most women are alike in that we love anticipation. We love to feel our desire emanating from every cell of our being. But we seldom get that, because entry/thrusting/intercourse and climax are over so quickly. Unless, of course, you have all day Saturday, the kids are away, and you have enough energy to be sexually and creatively active for many hours. Did you know that the word climax means “Stairway to Heaven”? Too often we skip the steps in order to reach the top, but both lovers often do not reach the top due to extreme differences in arousal timing and preferences.

What turns me on is the seed planted in my brain that something special is about to happen. I will notice the scent of my man, a word or words that get my mind thinking about pleasure and intimacy, anticipating a “best ever” orgasmic experience that is leisurely and intensely focused on ME….. me me me me me me… until I can’t stand it and I need to focus on you you you you…. (and I will add here the same anticipation works when I know I am going to have a self-pleasuring date with myself).

The subtleties of touch, of kissing, of eyes locked together in passionate intimacy… the warmth of skin and the movements of bodies dancing in erotic rhythm. If every man and every woman reading this would write (or speak and record) his and her perfect sexual experience, how would that look or sound? How might we teach one another so that no one ever has to spend time in a relationship where he or she is unfulfilled? Many are at a loss for words when it comes to speaking and describing these sensual intimacies.

Would you please write a paragraph or two or three, in the privacy of your world? Send them to me without your names if you wish, and let’s see if we can create such a weaving of our innermost visions that they would manifest outwardly.

Thank you! I love you! I can’t wait to hear from you!

Big Love, Caroline

Sacred Insights

I quite regularly find myself speaking to women who are uncertain about the purpose and practice of Yoni Massage and Blessing as part of the Nurturing Practice of AH (Awakening and Healing). And yet, I see the demand for this uniquely feminine body of work rising every year.

We highlight the AH Practice as the transformational core of what we will be presenting during the Women’s Retreat in Costa Rica and the weekend in Chapel Hill. I’ve been leading groups of women in this ritual of ancient blessings since 1989.

Over these many years, the women who have attended and participated in the celebrations or rituals of Yoni Blessing have either known how important this blessing was and is to them or were at least willing to “land on the moon” and take the first step! Some of them signed up because they had seen this ritual in dreams. Some felt deeply that their yoni needed to receive “permission” from a Priestess to partake in sexual awakening and pleasure. Others could sense buried treasure within and wished for it to be revealed and released.

What I have witnessed during the sacred feminine ritual of touch to the hidden access to our feminine power could be filed as unbelievable or miraculous… the receiver is often quite surprised by what she remembers as the mysteries are opened after a long slumber. A memory of a past life or a scream of terror as the Inquisition is witnessed and felt all around her. She might remember something specific that she saw or felt during an abortion or during a sexual encounter that resulted in an unwanted pregnancy. She might feel the rejection or the abandonment of a beloved…. or she might surrender to the ecstatic energy within her as tears of gratitude flow. The true gift is contact with what blocks your pleasure and freedom to feel.

Trust issues with women, with mother, and with men often come to the surface. We teach the healing practice of presence, offering women infinite space to feel and release. What is held as separation between women is surprisingly transformed into pure intimacy. Many women ask “Why were we never shown this before?” or say things like “It makes so much logical sense that women would bless one another in this way!”

No one is ever required to participate or judged if they don’t. No one who isn’t ready is expected to have another women enter and bless her Sacred Space at all during our week-long retreat. It can sound very strange, threatening, or even weird from the point of view of reading about it on your computer, but you are invited to join and perhaps not know ahead of time if you are going to join in the ritual or not. I have held women who were too afraid to partake in the ceremony and asked them to reverently gaze at the scene before them… feeling all and fearing nothing. Your safety is assured.

There are often aftershocks, much like what happens post-earthquake when the land trembles with the shifts of the earth’s plates. When women dare to show up for one another as midwives of the sacred, our earth shifts. We are never quite the same again (in a “thank goodness” kind of way) for we emerge beyond the invisible fear of one another that we didn’t know we carried, a burden that separates. I have witnessed mothers and daughters partaking in the Goddess Blessing Ritual, only to “find” one another once and for all.

There are many stories in “the naked city.” When we dare to take off our masks and costumes and truly let down our hair, many secrets unfold. It is with great conviction that Amrita and I walk with you into the great mystery… the Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women in Costa Rica, Nov. 4-11. The $500 early-bird discount expires May 1st!

Oh, and be sure to join us for Sacred Feminine Conversations April 15. We will be exploring the concept of the Maga, the archetype between Mother and Crone. You can register here.

In Service to All,
Caroline

 

Taking it Even Deeper

Are you breathing as you read this? I’m not talking about automated, unconscious breathing that you don’t even think about… can you find your breath beyond the shallow in and out that keeps you alive? Do you grow impatient with yet another reminder to Breathe Deeply, slowly, and with a focus on filling your lungs, holding for a moment, and then exhaling in slow motion before you take your next breath? What does this have to do with the divine or the feminine or orgasmic sex or whatever you are into? Hmmmmm… I wonder!

It’s as though we must re-take kindergarten over and over again, but this time it’s adult kindergarten. Our stress levels and to-do lists are over the top, so who has time to remember this breathing stuff? The power of your conscious breath can slow your thinking and calm the wild beast of your mind in a very short time!

This is very complimentary to the Breathwork Amrita wrote about in the last blog and the power unleashed via the breath when guided intelligently and compassionately… as you will experience in our Costa Rica retreat.

We are not creatures who take well to the idea of clearing our thoughts or “not thinking” because it seems impossible to do. The mind chatters on no matter what technique you apply. Some call this “learning to meditate,” but as a great thinker once said to me, “Why would I want to quiet my mind when there are so many great ideas in there to think about?”

I was speechless! He actually had a point. Something as basic and simple as mastery over the mind or the breath leaves most humans weak in the knees. And yet I write this blog as a Great Reminder… as loss of Power relates to going unconscious in your daily breath… not your daily bread… your daily BREATH.

The Divine Feminine work of sexual healing and awakening is dependent on teaching clients and students to breathe deeply – letting go of big sounds on the exhale. Breathing modalities such as Holotropic Breathwork and Shamanic Breathwork® use the power contained within the breath to assist the breather in releasing and letting go. Doesn’t it make sense that bigger pleasure and bigger orgasms can be invited with deeper breathing, faster breathing, louder breathing, controlled breathing, guided breathing, and breathing that releases energy?

For a full return of your Power, darling, begin now to access your deeper breathing into the full capacity of your lungs. You can skip kindergarten and move onto the playground sooner! I really have to work hard with clients to get them to breathe more deeply… it’s just so ingrained to contract and keep our breath shallow.

Next is another nearly impossible request… that of making sounds. So, if you have a mind to practice your Daily Breath, do so as an orgasmic step toward more vitality and peace of mind; and I will mention that more pleasure will join more Power in everything you think and do. Share a nostril-to-nostril kiss of breath with your lover and see where that takes you………..

It may take you to Costa Rica come play with us in the Sacred Feminine Mystery School’s Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women November 4-11, where we will inhale the scent of the sacred as well as the tropical… where we will awaken nerve endings in all of our sacred spaces… in all of our openings into our bodies, so that we breathe through our genitals as well as through our nostrils!

Sound like fun? I promise! Join Caroline and Amrita in sharing what we do best and love most!

With a tickle as I breathe my love to you, Caroline

by Amrita Grace

If you’ve never experienced breathwork, you are in for a real treat! Breathwork is a powerful healing process that brings forth your own inner healer and has the capacity to release dysfunctional patterns and addictions as well as take you into states of pleasure, delight, and bliss. It’s a highly individual process and every journey is different. It’s a natural way to experience altered states of consciousness assisted by music, your breath, and your intention.

I had my first experience with breathwork in the early 2000’s. It was called Maitri Breathwork and was led by a woman named Anahata in the small mountain community of Murphys, CA. It was an 8-hour experience. I always did like to dive in deep! I found it very healing and loved the natural altered states I could get to. Getting up to go to the bathroom was like being on another planet!

I was exposed to Holotropic Breathwork a few times after that initial experience and found it to be a mixed bag. I loved the loud, evocative music and again, the realms of consciousness not normally available to me. But there was something not quite “complete” about it. I often did not feel grounded afterward.

Then, in 2008, I had the opportunity to experience Shamanic Breathwork®. It was in this magical space that I met my Beloved. I asked him to be my co-journeyer, my breathwork partner. In Shamanic Breathwork, I found a freedom of expression, a permission to explore that had not been available to me in previous breathwork sessions. Afterward, we were given art supplies to create a mandala of our inner experience, something that was new to me and that I found to be the missing piece.

Two years later, I was back in that same room, once again in a Shamanic Breathwork holding co-journeyer space for my Beloved. As he came out of his breathwork, in complete silence, he proposed to me. I responded with an enthusiastic but equally silent YES!

My most powerful Shamanic Breathwork experience took place on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland, which contains the Callanish Standing Stones (a complex of many stone circles). When I was first introduced to the stones, they felt like old friends. Curious about that, I took the question into my Shamanic Breathwork session. What was revealed was amazing!

As a breathed my way into an alternate reality, I was shown the standing stones with very light, almost transparent beings weaving through the tops of the stones. They seemed to live above ground, and I was one of them. They showed me that I was a queen in this realm and that some of them had chosen to embody as the stones. So yes, they were indeed old friends! Tears poured down my face as I recounted the experience to my Beloved (now my husband).

In late February, I had the opportunity to experience Shamanic Breathwork three times with the founder, Linda Star Wolf, facilitating. What was revealed this time was that I’ve come full circle on my healing path and now it’s time to hold this powerful space for others. I’m now certified as a Shamanic Breathwork Facilitator and I’ll be bringing this powerful work into the Costa Rica Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for women that I’ll be co-facilitating with Caroline.

Love & blessings, Amrita

The Mother Wound

One of my dear friends recently went into the hospital to fulfill her doctor’s recommendation that she have a hysterectomy to remove her uterus. This recommendation was due to a pap smear cancer alarm that could affect the health or longevity of her uterus. She was devastated.

She came to me grieving deeply about this loss. She told me that her only daughter was in residence at one time in her womb and that her daughter is quite precious to her. I pondered this situation, noticing that my usual compassion was not up to par as I listened. Even though I contacted and blessed my friend internally, I was having a hard time raising my healing love focus to the point where I felt I was doing some good.

Segue to my early life….

I have never been pregnant nor ever delivered a child. My uterus (womb) was removed during my mid-twenties, along with both ovaries and my cervix. I didn’t know how to miss them as I had never met them in the first place.

I adopted my daughter nearly fifty years ago. I suppose you could say it hasn’t turned out well, as she chooses only a very distant relationship with me; whereas I continue to feel into a commitment to love her unconditionally and eternally. I so desire a close relationship with the only daughter I will ever know! And I realize that probably sounds a bit dramatic, as realistically I have thousands of daughters that I have bonded with through my work as an educator and practitioner of conscious loving and sexual healing. Nonetheless… I have a need to be very personal in this blog.

These are the confessions of a woman who didn’t know how to be a mother! And my Mother could barely figure it out, which no doubt led to my uncertainty into the world of mothering. Yet the longing to experience and be a mother never leaves the place inside that aches for the best-friendship possibility with this stranger I’ve called my darling daughter now for nearly fifty years!

Mothering comes naturally to me in my work. I am all female with some masculine characteristics thrown in. I love to nurture, care-take, and protect. I do that with the men in my life and I do it with girlfriends when they need that kind of attention. I do it with my clients, nurturing and attending to their needs while they are in my care. I do it pretty well for me also, mothering myself well when I feel the ache for a mother’s love. I have raised two cats and three puppies in my day… successfully I must say! And “Mama Queenie” is the nickname I was given during my travels in Bali years ago by all of the Balinese mammas who nourished me so deeply.

The Mother Wound is so pervasive in our culture. Is there a woman who doesn’t know the work that it takes to come into alignment and acceptance with their mother? The very fact that we form within our mother’s emptiness, also known as her source, is an invisible umbilical cord that haunts us for life. I seek answers to all of this. Please… what do you know? Share your story with me in the comments.

We are going to dive deeper into this discussion during our next free global video conference, Sacred Feminine Conversations on Feb 11th. Hope you can join us.

Big Love, Caroline

Who is Teaching Our Men?

You are my dear! You are the teacher for a man when you are his lover.

There is the story of a spiritual teacher who was offered a night of love by one of his students and he answered, “Thank you, but no. I don’t sleep with my students.” The Goddess’s answer as she looked warmly into his tentative eyes was “Oh, I don’t want to sleep with you. I want to AWAKEN with you!” This brought our brother to his knees in worship and surrender to her offer.

I share this story because you, Awakening Orgasmic Woman, truly are his Muse. Aphrodite is part of your feminine essence if only you dare to speak and show and tell… how and where to touch you. Whether he is touching you with his fingers, his eyes, his lips, his tongue, or his Wand of Pleasure, he needs your guidance… he needs your encouragement… and he needs your loving, enthusiastic heart.

Showing a lover exactly how and where and what you like is a great gift to give to him or her. There is endless information on the internet now, on YouTube, on many websites and in a thousand books and videos about how to pleasure a woman, or how to give good head… until the whole subject loses it sex appeal, so to speak. Yet there is a need to speak scientifically about female pleasure, as least for the scientifically-minded person.

Amrita came across a website recently that really rocks my boat in a good way… real women showing real techniques while naming them, defining them, and categorizing them in an effort to delineate and/or teach a lover or yourself. Primarily their efforts are in the pursuit of better and bigger clitoral orgasms… at least so far. This is only Season One. I happen to think this guide is going to be perfect for my highly scientific partner. Yippee! Let’s get started, Sweetie!

Check out OMG YES!

Love to hear your thoughts! As an educator, I am passionate about ways to inform and show things that are hard to find words for… i.e. “slower” or “a little to the left” might be easier for women to say than “more edging, please” or “love some layering, honey.”

Previewing touchable video to practice the strokes for a woman’s labia and clitoris is state of the art for modern technology. Is this how robots will learn the fine Art of Honoring the Yoni and the Lingam, one of my favorite subjects in Tantric Sex? Yes, darlings, Robots in your lifetime will provide immediate relief!

I sent my $29 in almost immediately, even though I know how to pleasure my own pearl-of-a-girl quite well, but I long for the words to express all her nuances, twists, and turns. I want the word masturbating to forever lose its appeal, replaced permanently with self-pleasuring. I long to hear the new vocabulary for pleasure become a thought-form in the minds of every human being. Evolution is here to stay!

Oh My God… YES, Caroline

As life unfolds, many of us leap from stepping-stone to stepping-stone… across the great abyss of the flowing waters of change. I am reminded of the teachers who launched a thousand moments in my life … the mentors of passion-filled experiences and people I have met over decades.

New York! The Big Apple! The experience of New York as a “state of mind.” Manhattan was my first beloved place from the age of 20 to 30 (prior to the rise of Trump Tower, by the way!). From the screeching of the subways to the teeming throngs on Fifth Avenue, rushing to catch my train near Grand Central, and helicopters taking off from the top of the Pan Am Building. My spirit would soar at the very passion with which people lived their lives. And mine was joined to theirs in a New York sort-of-way.

I weep victoriously as memory opens to allow me to relive the scent and sounds of the Ballet, the theaters of Broadway, the concert halls of my 20’s. I frequently remained in the City after work to attend a season of the American Ballet or the Alvin Ailey, often alone, but sometimes meeting my first husband for dinner and a play. Eventually, Pink Floyd at Carnegie Hall and the Rolling Stones at Madison Square Garden were signs of the changing times. Equal to these events were the many professional basketball games, hockey games, and New York Giants Football games at Yankee Stadium, as enthusiasm to live life fully drove my eager youth.

Much of this I recalled when writing my memoir, Tantra Goddess. But so many details were lost in the editing in order to get on with the story. Watching A Ballerina’s Tale this past week, a documentary about the historical success of Misty Copeland, principal dancer of the American Ballet Theater, opened up a deep passion in me. It is those lost passions or perhaps current ones that drive our creativity for living a chosen way.

I always knew I wanted to dance, to move, to soar and leap. I envied all singers and dancers on the stages of New York, but I did not envy their unbridled discipline. I also wanted the freedom to learn in the University called Life. In other words, I also needed to leave my legacy of unexplored art. That is what Tantra Yoga is to me… unexplored art. And the feminine is the Aphrodite of this art form.

Which brings me to the deeper point of this story. How many of those passions have fueled your life? In creating The Sacred Feminine Mystery School with Amrita Grace, we are igniting our shared passion for bringing women together in sacred ceremony in order to help them ignite their lost passions… clearing away anything that stands in the way. It’s time for women to rise together in inspired weavings of many colors.

We invite your participation in our free monthly global video conference, Sacred Feminine Conversations. You’ll have an opportunity to share your passion and truth in a circle of women. (Recordings will be made available to all registrants.) Our January 14 conversation already has 137 women registered! Our next date is February 11 with more to follow. 

Join us in Costa Rica November 4-11 for yoga, ceremony, Shamanic Breathwork®, and sacred sexual healing and awakening for women. Take advantage of the updated early-bird discounts now in place!  As a tribe of passionate truth-seekers, we will Rise, Soar, and More…

 

A Winter’s Tale, Caroline