I am in love with the word erotic and the phrase erotic intelligence. The word “erotic” conjures up a definition of my own personal brand of sex or sexual fantasy. It must contain the erotic — which might be described as soft reminders of sexual possibilities — so that my imagination has a chance to get into the game. It is said that good sex begins in the brain, and I admit that this is definitely true for me.
Let’s consider the Erotic, that stream of energy that weaves into and through nearly everything we do and everything we are. Wanting to find more support for my ideas on that great web of information at my gaily painted fingertips, I find…
… that my computer won’t take me to anything under the simple word erotic! Merriam Webster does offer a category called related words, however, words such as:
Racy, Lustful, Obscene, Sensuous, Bawdy, Titillating, Lascivious, Dirty, Lewd, Indecent, Pornographic, Smutty, Vulgar
Luckily, I found something more poetic and insightful on the meaning of erotic!
The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honor and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves. Audre’ Lorde’s “The Erotic as Power.”
I like to define the erotic as “the prana (or essence) of Shakti.” Erotic intelligence brings a certain intentionality to it, wouldn’t you say?
I remember a time when a lover commanded playfully yet seriously… “Surprise me! Seduce me!” As I headed for some sexy lingerie to wear, many images called to me but none of them felt like “me.” I knew that what to me was seductive would not be nearly “sexy” enough for him. I froze right then and there, stiff and immobilized in my sexy lingerie because I could not authentically “act seductive.”
I didn’t feel it for him but even more importantly, I didn’t feel it inside of me. It wasn’t something I could just turn on… or was it? Confused again by this vast and powerful aspect of my human feminine that I call “sexual” and now “seductive,” I countered with “Since you know what it is you want, why don’t you seduce me?”
What followed was pretty ordinary, so I have set out to understand what is erotic to me. I am the only one I can begin to figure out, though I would hope to be able to figure out my lover, at least sometimes. In-depth talks can reveal many mysteries and secrets within the lover’s soul.
As a woman, I can highly recommend a Sounds True recording by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. called How to Love a Woman. Within the vibration of her voice and words, I learned more about own erotic intelligence than I have ever learned in bed with a man… or woman, for that matter.
The erotic life requires an investment of time committed to living fully. The world of Eros is the world of true relationship. I was taught that I must be fully alive (something I strive for anyway) and that I must be fully present. These are the stepping stones of my Tantric life and teachings. Mindful awareness in each moment is required in order to walk the thin line of courage to love and express that love fully.
What does erotic mean to you?