by Caroline Muir

There is a new paradigm growing rapidly in today’s culture based on the sexual healing work of Tantra Yoga. As a Senior Educator of Tantra Yoga, I am passionate about re-writing the old way of thinking about our bodies and how we use them in sensual/sexual union with ourselves or with another. Lack of education is still the greatest cause of unconscious sex and lack of orgasmic power.

Women in roses. Cropped image of young women covered with rose pWhere are we going in our journey from human to divine? Where is the overlap and how they can co-exist? God is in our genitals. The divine spark lives in every cell of our being… yes, even “down there!”

Do you feel separated from your soul and spirit as you seek pleasure and fulfillment? Does your sexual center ever feel cared for or safely held? Is tenderness and nurturing part of your “agenda” for the parts of your body that are primarily thought of as centers for elimination and occasionally, sex?

My vision for the enlightened culture of the future is now clearly unfolding for me and many others who study and practice the Tantric Arts… The Yoga of Love. Intimacy is the biggest missing piece for most people when they choose to “have sex.”

Pleasure is a powerful human need, and yet we often settle for just enough pleasure to give our body the message that we are still alive.

two funny robots making loveEcstatic pleasure is essential for the survival of the human race. Machines, robots, computers… they are all becoming so advanced that they will soon rival the human brain. But as many of us know, we are so much more than our brain. We are flesh and bone, fluids and feelings, emotional or static in our physical response to daily life. Aliveness fuels the brain with substances that defy science, though many try to measure and footnote how these substances add to mental and physical health and activity.

Without pleasure we may as well wear stainless steel skin. There is an intense need within the human spirit to be ALL we can be. What I have seen is that sexual healing (I also call this The Nurturing Practice of AH) is a rewiring and a remapping of the hidden, private and unrevealed message contained within the genital region. In this space where interconnectedness is incomplete, there is truly an opportunity to cultivate our birthright of wholeness.

Please join Nevada anytime for a private 3-Day Intensive where I can teach you these arts in person. I welcome your comments below!

Woman in robe flipped

By Caroline Muir

There isn’t a female libido pill as yet on the market. Ever wondered why?

Female arousal is a complex affair, perhaps more complex than an actual ‘affair’! It is so complex that I can only refer you to the best information I have ever read to explain the intricacies involved in female arousal: Vagina, a book by Naomi Wolf. I am privileged to have had my classes with women written about in twelve pages of this masterpiece of research.

A couple that I am counseling touched my heart deeply as I felt into their pain resulting from the fact that she doesn’t want to “have” to have sex any longer with her husband, at least for now. Their sexual loving is not painful or aggressive. She loves him and he loves her. She just doesn’t want to! Josh sits before me in shock and grief as this is his primary way to feel union with his beloved Heather… or as he describes it he is “a thirsty man desiring water… hungry for intimacy with his wife.”

Upset older couple roundHe remembers the last time they made love. He admits they were just going through the motions… that it wasn’t a thoughtful joining as they had been learning from me; the principles of Tantra and the yoga of intimacy. She really does not know why this is her truth and how she feels at this time. 

The sadness I feel and see in them is reminiscent of a lost and lonely place. As a woman, I do not find her wrong or broken or in any way ‘a mess.’ She is a wise and compassionate therapist, successful in her world. She “just doesn’t want to”! Sex for Heather is no longer fulfilling.

Yet she grieves his sorrow. She gives him freedom to explore… to continue living ‘as a man’ with others. That of course leads to talks about separate living and the myriad of painful situations that include grown children, friendships and family, pets and the daily playing of music that they share. He grimaces at this gift of freedom… he only wants his wife. I know this parting of physical/sensual/sexual ways is common to long relationships and marriages. I reach into my fifty years of living in relationships for words of wisdom.

Older Couple playing chess crop roundI suggest dropping deeper into friendship with one another, something they both feel is uppermost in their marriage and relationship. I suggest “Let It Be” as John Lennon sang to us as we were all reaching for the light of understanding.

I suggest a “sabbatical” from their sexual marriage, while deepening their intimacy and friendship with one another and their families. I invited Heather to do a Ritual of Completion with me or with her women’s group, in an invitation to “lay to rest” her duty as a wife. It’s very possible that in dropping the inherited duty of a wife, she might very well find her sensual joy in the freedom to say no!

Josh now has the opportunity to choose Heather for the warm and wonderful companion whom he has grown to treasure over twenty years. There is a heavy “should” in how a marriage is supposed to look in the sexual arena, and women often struggle with these libido changes as they age. It appears that we need to claim our autonomy from the marriage identity, often without wanting to lose the marriage, while hoping to find a new level of desire based on loving friendship and freedom rather than the duties of marriage.

Couple with baggage clear

Marital Baggage can be quite heavy. In the pure union of lover and beloved, this conflict isn’t meant to be heavy. In an ideal world we would want to make love as a celebration of our love. Yet libido for both men and women alters from the natural flow of desire that we knew when we were younger. The best antidote for a lazy libido is to simply… play!

Easier said than done? “Seriousness is an adult disease” and Sex is serious business. How about this instead: Play with one another…  play with yourself… play with your children… learn from the kids and pets about ‘play’ and bring that Quality of Play to your lover. Let go of goals, orgasms and performance. They are the biggest blocks to play!

I would love to hear from you! Please comment and add both your serious and your playful thoughts.

By Irene

When you hear the word “Tantra of Intimacy,” what’s the first thing that comes into your mind? Sex, postures, or even Kama Sutra? There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about both words, especially in our Asian cultures. One need only google the words and figure it out yourself without daring to ask for more! Even if we do dare to ask, the next question is who are we going to ask? That’s what I did when my cousin in London mentioned Tantric Yoga to me. There is not much you can find about it online, not nearly enough be able to understand much about it.

CollageThen I came across an upcoming retreat in Bali that called “Tantra & Yoga of Intimacy: Sensual Awakening, Healing & Enlivening” with Blue and Caroline Muir, in November, 2013. I emailed Blue (Spirituality and Yoga of Intimacy Guru, a wonderful man whom I trust and admire so much) and asked about the retreat. He sent me information about what the retreat was about and what we will gain from it. He also gave me this: Intimacy Is love infused with connection, generosity, attentiveness, presence, trust, surrender and the courage to be seen and be vulnerable. Intimacy is a choice. Sensuality is an excitement or enlivening of the primary senses of the human body. When enlivened, sensuality becomes a flow of life inside and around you. Sensuality is natural.  

Ahhhhhhhhhh………….what a journey Bali has been for me, meeting Caroline and Blue and connecting with our wonderful group of people… so powerful and authentic! Words cannot express how grateful I am to have made this choice to embark upon this road. I am also very thankful to have met Caroline and Blue, and for them to have given me the chance to walk onto this road of unknown… to face my fear, to find my lost heart and love, and to learn from two wonderful, warm and gorgeous people the art of tantra and the world of intimacy in the most respectful, loving, nurturing and warmest ways.

Vulnerability and trust are the two most guarded things in ourselves that we don’t want to let go or let down. I constantly reminded myself throughout myIrene seven days there, “I’m here for a good reason… and I need to open to the learning, receiving and healing that will come my way.” I’m glad I did. It was totally amazing for me to have been in the presence of people who came with open hearts and trust. There was so much openness, vulnerability and love among every one of us there, that all of us still are very much affected from our retreat even after two weeks have passed.

Towards the end of my week which I was wishing lasted longer, I have learnt to develop a sexual connection with my partner that not only feeds his heart but also my heart, body and life with aliveness. The work helped me to unlock my full potential as a partner and lover; released the energies inside me that have blocked my full capacity of feeling beautiful; and I have learnt to love and also to receive love in a truly loving and intimate ways with full aliveness and openness. We learnt the art of giving to and receiving from our partner in a most nurturing, loving, warm and beautiful way where towards the end of each session, all of us felt all our chakras touched, opened and shining bigger than we normally experience. Like Caroline said, “We raised the bar on your life experiences. We expanded into the vast heart of love and intimacy that we call Tantra, and this is the power of creating sacred space, alignment with yoga and union with the divine.” Thanks to them, I am still walking around with a glow in my face and heart every day!

Thank you!

Bali motorcycle

By Caroline Muir

Bali ArtThree weeks in Bali taught me at least as much as I was delighted to teach our 14 students who traveled from such far-away locales as Australia, Hong Kong, Dubai, New Zealand and the U.S.

My co-facilitator Blue, fully present with the energy of the moment, often selects subjects or music rather than the satsang originally planned. Hindu chants echo across the rice paddies as we hold our satsangs in the open air of the top floor overlooking the sculpted green of life in the fields. Tantra really is the Yoga of Intimacy and Love. Our students received much more than they anticipated, all hoping to return next Sept/Oct for our next offerings, one of which will be the Art of Lovemaking.

Next fall we will hold two 1-week retreats near the Bali Sea, in Amed in East Bali. Fresh coconuts are delivered each day with a bamboo straw. Nothing is wasted… eco/organic has swept this little island where they grow everything they need… including the sweetest people in the world. “Why not be happy?” is the attitude that surrounds us and seeps into our cells like super-food.

I jokingly surmised that Bali is almost “too” spiritual, with every store named Ananda or Shakti Creations or Buddha Wear while stone and carved deities line the narrow streets where they are being made. Riding through these apparitions on the back of Blue’s Ninja motorcycle gave me a perspective that included aromas of temple incense, families bathing together in clear streams, dogs with leopard spots and Life that is lived willing to be seen.

As Kym Byatt of Perth, Australia, puts it… “The combination of both your and Blue’s energy, commitment, expertise and big, big hearts created a very profound healing space. Not to mention being held by Mother Bali, in the Land of Prayers who demanded her way in tender surrender. I had the most profound week of my life, and I have had an incredible life.”