My Breast Friends

How many times have you criticized your own breasts? How many times have you hated them or wished they were different? Or are they your breast friends?

One in eight women will develop invasive breast cancer during her lifetime. It is the fifth most common cause of death from cancer in women. The rates of survival are improving because it is diagnosed at earlier stages and treated; however, an estimated 266,120 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in women in the U.S. in 2018.

My focus on this subject comes from several recent experiences I have had with women and the vulnerability of their breasts during my Awakening and Healing sessions. When I massage a woman’s body during my sessions, I always ask if I may touch her breasts with a healing intent.

As a woman touching another woman’s breasts I am very careful not to touch them with any intent for arousal, since my healing work is not about arousing her pleasure. Yet, I am now looking at my own fear and resistance behind that.

I recently had a client who asked if she could hold my breasts during a massage session. I had to re-examine my own boundaries for a long few seconds until I easily realized there was nothing to fear. I said, “Yes, of course,” and pulled off my top and the soft bra that held my large and lovely breasts (my breast friends). I was standing beside the massage table as I held her breasts while she held mine. Our eyes connected. I encouraged deep breathing and sounds to help move whatever surprise or anxiety we might be feeling. She shared with me that she has nursed four now-grown children, lamenting that she hoped to have surgery in the near future to lift her fallen breasts after the years of nursing.

We both felt emotional and loving during this exchange. I laid my breasts on top of hers placing my heart center on her heart center as we breathed with one another. To my surprise, I began to kiss her breasts, not her nipples, mind you, but as you might kiss a person’s cheek…and she returned kisses to my own. This was a delicate and tender moment that felt more tender and lovely than I can find words to express.

Tears fell from her eyes, as she said, “Caroline, this is the most healing moment I have ever experienced… now I can let the surgeon make them as lovely as they were before I nursed my four children.” And we both sensed when it was time to stop and integrate what we each felt. I was as altered by the experience as was she, and we both know that it was a moment we shall never forget.

Several months later, I had the honor and privilege of enjoying the breasts of another woman with whom I share a great deal of Shakti and desire… a very different energy as this woman is a friend and not a client. We are both very involved in conscious sexuality and sexual healing professionally, so it’s natural that these concepts would be present in the sharing of sexual desire and pleasure with one another. The pleasure I feel when she caresses my breasts, when she kisses my nipples and truly “loves” my breasts, feels like the most healing medicine of loving care I have ever known … from a woman.  There is simply NO WAY that diseases such as breast cancer could enter breasts that are this loved and revered.

When I inhale the scent of her… when I hold and enjoy her breasts, I am clearly in an altered state. She nursed her child for several years over twenty years ago, and I feel as though the child in me is being nourished by the ambrosia she carries. The experience with her goes so far beyond any sensual experience I have ever had with a man.

My recent explorations have greatly altered my view of who I am in my sexual identity and certainly as a woman. I know without a doubt that women can heal many issues around being female only in the intimate safety of another woman or women. I also believe that sharing pleasure with a woman that goes far beyond shopping together has value on so many levels. I weave the snippets of my past accumulation of intimate experience with women into a cloak of many colors. Now I wear it daily, as a reminder to revere the many-faceted gem of who I am… A Woman… a divinely feminine WOMAN~!

My personal life explorations into feminine sensuality are quite different from my work, where we guide women into holding sacred space for each other’s sexual healing and awakening, exploring such archetypes as “midwife” and “priestess.” When the barriers of fear and judgment break down and women melt into being held in this powerful space together, their healing impacts the entire planet and reaches backward and forward through the generations.

I’m happily settled in Panama now, establishing a new home and private practice. In the meantime, please consider joining us for our final Blue Spirit retreat in late November… Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing for Women. Several women are bringing their husbands to enjoy the beautiful infinity pool, ocean, and grounds while they are in the workshop.

Your radically awakened Caroline

Pura Vida

A soft rain falls just an arm’s reach from my breakfast coffee amidst the jungle foliage surrounding the open air dining. I reflect on every gorgeous moment of our immersion into the essence of Nature known in Costa Rica as “Pura Vida.” I feel this healthy wholesomeness seep into my cells breath by breath in one of the world’s few “Blue Zones,” where people naturally live longer lives. Where my soon-to-be new home in Panama City oozes Salsa, sexy, and sublime… my neighbor to the northwest is famous for the Pure Life.

Coming Home 

It’s been five years since I’ve been involved in facilitating a weeklong retreat, and I feel like I’ve come HOME. I believe that every one of the 21 women who attended our first tropical Sacred Feminine Mystery School Retreat is abundantly delighted, surprised, and satisfied. They went home with way more than they expected. We loved Blue Spirit Retreat Center so much that we booked it for next year, November 24-December 1!

Revelation

The testimonials offered by the women who attended (now featured on our Maui retreat page) confirm the truth of how essential this kind of connection is to their lives. For me, it reconfirmed how important this gathering of the feminine is to the core values of the larger Feminine collective. I daresay it was even a revelation.

It was also a big revelation for Amrita Grace, my beloved co-founder and co-facilitator as well as my designated lineage holder and business manager. Like a bolt of lightning, she got potently recharged with her mission to bring this precious, unique body of work to the world in a coherent, cohesive way. (More about that soon)

Practical Expansion

Even the loftiest and most expansive ideas need the practical and organizational skills of a linear mind to ground them into the earth plane and translate them into understandable terms. This is why Amrita and I are such a stellar team! Where I am weak, she is strong. Where I have thirty years of education and experience in achieving bliss through the FUNdamentals of pleasure and play, Amrita puts these fundamentals into a cohesive set of teachings that allows the brain to engage (and then let go) in order to surrender into the Practice of AH (Awakening & Healing). From beginning to advanced practice, from sexual healing practice to sexual awakening practice, we proceed without agenda for the purpose of a sacred and divine blessing to this essence of feminine energy.

Mystery School Mysteries

So what really happened here during our first offering of the Sacred Feminine Mystery School week-long retreat, attended by women from all over the world? Together, as a circle, we created a container so sacred, so powerful, and so filled with integrity, that we were able to go on a well-supported journey into the depths of who we are as feminine beings. We surrendered into the tenderness of the sisterhood while we let go of the burdens of shame, resistance, anger, mistrust, and pain that we’ve carried for lifetimes, handed down through the generations of our foremothers, making space for the sweetness of bliss and pleasure that is our birthright.

Retire? Ha ha, the joke’s on me!

As the Founder of Divine Feminine Awakening and co-founder, with Amrita, of the Sacred Feminine Mystery School, I can now see where my “retirement” ideas are leading… into a new decade of work with Amrita as we weave a curriculum for our Mystery School that’s built on a foundation of the AH Practice and grounded in a new paradigm of feminine principles.

Additional delights

Shamanic Breathwork, offered by Amrita, now has a solid place in the curriculum. Living Blueprint Astrology is also woven in and is essential to the process. This feminine-centered body of work is offered by Lauren Jubelirer, a divinely informed Astrologer and Acupuncturist. Morning Yoga begins each day with a delight for our bodies, offered in such a grace-filled way for every level of participant by Rachel Fiske. Believe me, if Rachel could entice me onto the mat at 7:00 each morning and send me off the mat loving my body, mind, and spirit in preparation for the day, she has a true gift. I have attended and left many yoga classes over the years simply because the teachers do not offer the gentle approach I believe hatha yoga to be.

The Sacred Masculine

I will end this missive in praise of and appreciation to Apollo Grace, Amrita’s beloved husband, who offered AH sessions to the women as an optional service during the week. Their responses, one and all, were filled with gratitude for the Sacred Masculine presence Apollo offers just by being his sincere and loving self. This Feminine Mystery School knows the value of healthy masculine balance, and we proudly offer it where we can find it.

More, please!

We turn our attention now to our next retreat on Maui, April 21-28, 2018. Several of the women who came to Costa Rica signed up for Maui as the retreat week came to an end, knowing how important this work is and feeling the desire to experience more of it as they awaken long-asleep parts of themselves and open their arms to greet a brand new era of Awakening and Healing on the planet.

Home is where my heart is, and it’s good to be HOME!

In deepest joy, Caroline

P.S. We’ve added two new dates for Sacred Feminine Conversations, December 9th and January 6th. It’s a free global telecall with the sacred feminine sisterhood, hosted by me and Amrita. International phone numbers are available. More info here.

Sacred Insights

I quite regularly find myself speaking to women who are uncertain about the purpose and practice of Yoni Massage and Blessing as part of the Nurturing Practice of AH (Awakening and Healing). And yet, I see the demand for this uniquely feminine body of work rising every year.

We highlight the AH Practice as the transformational core of what we will be presenting during the Women’s Retreat in Costa Rica and the weekend in Chapel Hill. I’ve been leading groups of women in this ritual of ancient blessings since 1989.

Over these many years, the women who have attended and participated in the celebrations or rituals of Yoni Blessing have either known how important this blessing was and is to them or were at least willing to “land on the moon” and take the first step! Some of them signed up because they had seen this ritual in dreams. Some felt deeply that their yoni needed to receive “permission” from a Priestess to partake in sexual awakening and pleasure. Others could sense buried treasure within and wished for it to be revealed and released.

What I have witnessed during the sacred feminine ritual of touch to the hidden access to our feminine power could be filed as unbelievable or miraculous… the receiver is often quite surprised by what she remembers as the mysteries are opened after a long slumber. A memory of a past life or a scream of terror as the Inquisition is witnessed and felt all around her. She might remember something specific that she saw or felt during an abortion or during a sexual encounter that resulted in an unwanted pregnancy. She might feel the rejection or the abandonment of a beloved…. or she might surrender to the ecstatic energy within her as tears of gratitude flow. The true gift is contact with what blocks your pleasure and freedom to feel.

Trust issues with women, with mother, and with men often come to the surface. We teach the healing practice of presence, offering women infinite space to feel and release. What is held as separation between women is surprisingly transformed into pure intimacy. Many women ask “Why were we never shown this before?” or say things like “It makes so much logical sense that women would bless one another in this way!”

No one is ever required to participate or judged if they don’t. No one who isn’t ready is expected to have another women enter and bless her Sacred Space at all during our week-long retreat. It can sound very strange, threatening, or even weird from the point of view of reading about it on your computer, but you are invited to join and perhaps not know ahead of time if you are going to join in the ritual or not. I have held women who were too afraid to partake in the ceremony and asked them to reverently gaze at the scene before them… feeling all and fearing nothing. Your safety is assured.

There are often aftershocks, much like what happens post-earthquake when the land trembles with the shifts of the earth’s plates. When women dare to show up for one another as midwives of the sacred, our earth shifts. We are never quite the same again (in a “thank goodness” kind of way) for we emerge beyond the invisible fear of one another that we didn’t know we carried, a burden that separates. I have witnessed mothers and daughters partaking in the Goddess Blessing Ritual, only to “find” one another once and for all.

There are many stories in “the naked city.” When we dare to take off our masks and costumes and truly let down our hair, many secrets unfold. It is with great conviction that Amrita and I walk with you into the great mystery… the Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing Retreat for Women in Costa Rica, Nov. 4-11. The $500 early-bird discount expires May 1st!

Oh, and be sure to join us for Sacred Feminine Conversations April 15. We will be exploring the concept of the Maga, the archetype between Mother and Crone. You can register here.

In Service to All,
Caroline