Sensual/Sexual Meditation Practice

One only reaches a state of meditation for brief periods, if at all, as the mind will want you to notice that you aren’t thinking and then alas, now you are thinking again! But practice makes perfect. Meditation is an inner seeing and sex is enhanced by intimacy (in-to-me-see). Tantric sex includes meditating with the beloved knowing that the act of sex brings you closer to the God or divine in one another. On the other hand, casual sex is simply a meditation on the genitals, with orgasm as the goal, aka “Fast-food Sex.”

I recommend beginning with a solo practice, whether you are in a relationship or not. Once you have created luscious habit of self loving sensual/sexual meditation, you’ll have much more juice to bring to your relationship!

How do you make time for sexual meditation and/or pleasure? Put it on your calendar, your iPhone, your computer with regular alerts! Create a daily 5-10 minute practice during the week and a 1/2 hour practice on the weekend.

Set the stage: create or weave a special cocoon with your vivid imagination. If at all possible, a candle-lit bath or ‘pleasure nest’ just for YOU with your favorite music, scent, lighting, fabrics, mirrors, art. Look at yourself in a mirror while you relax and SEE the transformation of the busy you into the pleasure

goddess that you are. Anoint yourself with oil… massage your own breasts (not just your nipples) but give yourself a sensual breast massage just for the pure “health” of it. Massage your inner thighs and especially any area (belly?) that you think is too fat, or too flat, or too something. If you don’t love yourself, who will? YOU are your own most intimate partner. Practice loving yourself and your self will love you better!!

Bringing Sensual/Sexual Meditation to a Partnership

During sex, meditate on your partner (what! look at them? Yes!) Eyes-open enhances intimacy. Let your eyes say what your words want to say (slower darling or take me, beloved or you’re mine, sweetheart or I adore you, honey. Your eyes are powerful tools to enhance sexual pleasure. Capture your mind and make it work for you!

If eyes are closed during sex, meditate on your own breath. Meditate on the scent of your partner. If his or her eyes are closed, open yours! Surprise them by being present even if they seem to be in their own world, the world of pleasure! Use your inner vision to follow your breath… up the spine and down again.

Or, use your internal vision to feel your breath coming into your nostrils… and out again… in an endless wave of coming in and going out. Like the lapping of the sea upon the shore, it relaxes the brain from all its busyness and turmoil.

Feminine Libido Enhancer

While sitting at your desk or meditating on your mat, spend 5-10 minutes meditating on internal muscle exercises as outlined below. These are not kegels, but secrets from the ancient Eastern practices of Tantra and Taoism. Ask your brain to follow your breath and the parts of your body that you are feeling. Take a break from working while at your desk even if your eyes are open… you can use internal gazing or no focus with eyes open.

This practice brings more blood flow to your sexual center, arousing your life force, and distributing it upward with breath toward your brain. It also prepares your sexual organs inside and out to engorge, wake up, and feel their aliveness

1. INHALE deeply and hold breath.

2. While holding, SQUEEZE your internal muscles … tighter… tighter… tighter.

3. EXHALE and relax these muscles completely … until you feel a pool of energy beneath you.

REPEAT 2 more times… squeezing as you hold the breath… relaxing as you exhale.

4. Now inhale deeply, hold breath while pulsing the muscles (squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax).

5. EXHALE slowly while relaxing your muscles. When all the breath is out, begin your next sequence.

6. INHALE slowly and  pulse (squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax)

7. EXHALE deeply while relaxing all tension in the muscles

REPEAT 2 more times and let go of all technique

8. MEDITATE on the energy you have cultivated that you are now “sitting on!”

While meditating on the energy, a woman might repeat to herself:

I am a goddess of pleasure

All acts of love are my rituals

I live in a perpetual state of orgasmic bliss

This is my birthright

Meditating your way to Bigger Orgasmic Pleasure
during Clitoral Orgasm

Meditate on breathing into and from your aroused clitoris. Use your inner imagery to imagine it growing taller than Empire State Building! If with a partner, imagine it growing through the upper palate of your partner’s mouth and into his brain (now you are penetrating his brain into a heightened state of consciousness!).

Rather than tightening your legs and shortening your breath, relax your pelvis, deepen your breathing while sounding Ahhhhhh on the exhale. LOUDER… LOUDER (into a pillow if need be, but LOUDER!)

State clearly… I’M COMING!! After exhaling fully, take in another deep breath, sipping your pleasure as if through a straw right up into your brain. See it lighting up like Fifth Avenue at Christmas.

Let me know how you like these techniques by commenting below.

by Kimberly Dawn Neumann as posted on Aloha.com

Expert: Caroline Muir

Wouldn’t it be great if you could shut out all distractions and really connect to your body during sex? You know, be completely in the moment and put the spotlight directly on your pleasure?

Want to know how? By using your mind to improve your focus — and that’s where meditation comes in.

A meditative practice trains you to silence the internal chatter, which will help you tune in to every touch, every taste, every sensation. “Meditation is worth every minute you give to achieving this quiet state of mind,” says Caroline Muir, author of Tantra Goddess and founder of the Divine Feminine Institute for Men and Women. “It’s that quiet state that makes you open to your true erotic self.”

A quiet mind is also less distracted by self-consciousness and more open to heightened perception, which is just where you want to be when you’re most aroused. Any practice that brings focus to deep breathing while anchoring you in the here-and-now boosts your ability to experience erotic enjoyment.

“Sex is meditation,” says Muir. “Meditation is an inner seeing, and sex is enhanced by intimacy which I like to call in-to-me-see.” She describes the two together — sex and mindfulness — as paths to deeper understanding and greater connection. “The invitation to be mindful and present during sexual loving is a gift you give yourself and your partner.” 

Muir offers the following meditative techniques as a means of awakening sensuality and increasing sexual satisfaction. She suggests a 10-minute sexual meditation at least 2–3 times per week (and 30 minutes on weekends). “These are techniques from Tantric study that have transformed my own experience of the short, quick orgasm into something that last for minutes.” Need we say more?

Solo Sexual Meditation for Women

This meditation on your “internal” sexual muscles comes from centuries of Tantric yoga tradition, says Muir. “Mindfully focusing on the sensations in your body will enhance your ability to feel pleasure during sex and more fully enjoy the experience.”

You can do this exercise at home, at work, on the train, wherever. If you’re at home, set a sensual scene: Prepare a candle-lit bath or “pleasure nest’” with your favorite music, scent, candles, fabrics, art. Or sit in front of a mirror and watch yourself relax into a goddess of pleasure.

Step One: In a comfortable seated position (either at your desk, on the floor or on a pillow) with your eyes closed or open but with a soft focus, inhale deeply and hold your breath.

Step Two: While holding the breath, concentrate on contracting your inner female muscles . . . tighter, tighter, tighter.

Step Three: Exhale and relax these muscles completely . . . until you feel a pool of energy beneath you.

Step Four: Repeat two more times, squeezing as you hold the breath, relaxing as you exhale.

Step Five: Next, inhale deeply, hold breath while pulsing the muscles (squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax). 

Step Six: Exhale slowly while relaxing those muscles and when all your breath is out, immediately begin your next sequence.

Step Seven: Repeat two more times — pulsing as you hold the breath (squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax) and exhaling completely.

Step Eight: Continue to inhale and exhale slowly while you meditate on the energy you have cultivated that you are now “sitting on.” Consider repeating affirmations to yourself such as “Sexual pleasure is my birthright.” If that’s a little too Tantric, just think about sex! 

Couples Pleasure Meditation

Using meditative principles while engaging in lovemaking can help shift your attention from external distractions to the present moment, allowing you to get into you and your lover’s sexual pleasure flow. 

Step One: If your eyes are closed during sex, tune into your own breathing. Visualize your breath as it travels up your spine and down again. Or, concentrate on the sensation of your breath as it flows in and out of your nostrils, in an endless wave that syncs up with what’s happening in the rest of your body. “Like the lapping of the sea upon the shore, it relaxes the brain from all its busyness and turmoil,” says Muir.

Step Two: Focus on the scent of your partner. While you’re breathing deeply, breathe him into your body, and into the picture of him in your mind.

Step Three: Next, open your eyes and look at your partner. The simple act of eye contact enhances intimacy. Even if he’s off in his own world, allow your eyes to convey your thoughts. With a whisper of your eyes, communicate, “You’re mine” or “Slower” or whatever you’re feeling.  This will keep your mind from wandering and keep your focus on you and your partner and your combined pleasure.

Step Four: If you find yourself edging towards a climax, don’t be afraid to add a little “Ahhh,” with every exhale getting incrementally louder. This will help push you towards the edge and keep your focus on experiencing pleasure as opposed to allowing other thoughts to creep in.

Step Five: When you reach your peak, take in another deep breath, sipping your pleasure as if through a straw right up into your brain. (This will intensify any feelings of orgasmic release as you tune into the sensations that have just coursed through your body).

Photo credit: Kelli McCarty